Where Are You Love?
by SamiJane
Summary: After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what’s next in their own lives. Mostly Brulian, Brucas; Light Pulian, Leyton. With Chris Keller, Samantha Walker, and Naley/Jamie
1. Regrets are for the Weak

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

**By: **SamiJane

**Genre: **Drama/Humor

**Disclaimer: **See Author's Bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives. Brooke/Julian, Brucas, Peyton/Julian, Leyton

**A/N: **So, I'm starting a new story, despite the fact that I'm still working on another one. But I had to start this one because I couldn't get it out of my head. It's written in a different way than my other stories are.

It'll be a comedy about love with Brooke and Julian in the main character seats. Basically them trying to find true love since Leyton and Naley seem to have already found it. I'm still working on whether or not I want Brulian to be end game.

So read and enjoy the ride. :)

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Chapter 1: Regrets are for the Weak**

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Brooke's POV**__; the altar_

As I listen to the one and only Lucas Scott, master of words, recite his heartfelt vows – consisting of words such as fate, soul mates, and true love always - I can't help but want to gag. Surprised? Believe me, I, Brook Davis, did not expect to feel my eyes roll as I hear his eloquent, meticulously thought out speech resound from his voice. I mean, he's Lucas Scott. Everyone fell in love with his words and gracefully constructed sentences. He has a New York Times Bestseller to prove it. Said bookseller even morphed into a full length, knock your socks off, motion picture.

And yet, all I can think is, "Damn guy better mean it this time."

In a one of a kind Brooke Davis original, I force myself from uttering an exasperated "Oh God, please shut up," with the fakest of all smiles plastered on my face. Only no one can tell it is fake. At least that part of cheerleading paid off. Hell, I am seriously thinking of running out of the goddamn church right now. But I can't do that. One, because I decided to wear my ridiculously tall five inch heels. And two, I have to support "two of my best friends in the whole world."

Why I want to gag – well there is a boat load of reasons. One is because his romantically crafted vows remind me of his infamous speeches and declarations of "love" back in senior year of high school. Another is probably because I shouldn't have eaten the left over Chinese from two nights ago.

But the main reason why I don't want to hear another sentence about Lucas' love for the woman of his dreams…well, that one reason has always shown its ugly face the past six years. It's the fact that I had allowed myself to become so invested in this Southern gentleman back in high school, that nearly every boy/ man that came after him had to live up to the standards he set. You know, minus the whole cheating thing.

But of course, in hindsight, he was really cheating on Peyton with me. After all, no matter how much I hated to admit it back in high school, the two had belonged to each other since she nearly ran him over that fateful night. If I had known that stupid fact, I never would have seduced the boy with a leopard bra and a pair of mittens in the first place.

But I can't regret what I felt during the brief time that I loved him or was in love with him. No matter how much the breakup (both of them) pained me afterwards, I will never regret our crazy relationship. For a brief, and I mean really brief, moment, the love that we felt for each other was so wonderful and pure - I would never give that back. Because even though it wasn't a Naley "always and forever" kind of epic, romance love, it had potential to be.

And now, I'm behind Lucas Scott, again. But, this time with tad more clothes on, and this time I'm supporting his choice in another woman. But she is not just any woman; she is my best friend, his "love of his life," our Peyton Sawyer.

I'm a best friend alright. I can't even get through this damn wedding without thinking of my tumultuous past with the groom.

Everyone knows that nobody loves weddings more than I do, but right now I can't wait till this "momentous occasion" is over. Am I happy for my friends? Of course I am. But this moment had been such a long time coming, that the surprise and awe of this marriage had passed as soon as I saw the engagement ring. I mean, the damn thing was supposed to happen five years ago.

I probably sound like a jealous idiot right now. But it's not because I want Lucas Scott. I certainly do not want Lucas romantically anymore. It has been six years. I'm not going to depreciate and disrespect myself by yearning for a man that never really fought for me, a man that doesn't want me. I deserve way better than that. I'm Brooke Davis.

No, Lucas Scott is not the reason why I can't wait to get off this altar and run to the reception hall for at least three glasses of champagne. Him and Peyton finally tying the knot is not what I am jealous of.

I'm jealous of all the love all of my best friends have found. And this wedding is only another reminder of it all. They've found a love so great and so awe inspiring – a love I have been longing for since I was nine and created a wedding for my Malibu Barbie and Ken dolls. At such a young age in life, Haley, Nathan, Peyton, and Lucas have found the kind of love one could only hope for, if only for one minute, in one lifetime.

The love you read about in love stories, like the Notebook or Gone with the Wind. Haley is the Allie to Nathan's Noah. Peyton is the Scarlett O'Hara to Lucas' Rhett Butler. Ok, maybe that last metaphor is a stretch, considering Peyton is nothing like Scarlett, but you get the point.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," I hear the minister exclaim as the crowd cheers, whistles, and claps.

Damn, I can't believe I missed the rest of the wedding. Well, at least now the gagging sensation has passed.

I know love will come to me eventually and unexpectedly. But why can't that time be now?

_**

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Julian's POV**__; Outside the church, across the street_

I sit covertly in my car, away from the crowd, but close enough to see the exuberant newlyweds run out of the church amidst their jovial friends and family. Even though I've known for months that this day was going to occur, melancholy still creeps up on me and my eyes began to redden and well up. But I refuse to shed one tear. I refuse to think, "I wish that was me holding her." No, Julian Baker does not have regrets. The past is the past. I made my decision years ago.

But she still takes my breath away. Even on the arm of another man.

Would this day still have happened if I never walked away? Maybe. Maybe not. That depends on what Peyton would have done if I had asked her to marry me instead of move in together. But I don't think I would have been able to vow in front of family and friends to love her forever. Not when I knew I only played second fiddle to the first love of her life. I knew he was still in her heart since our first date; I just believed she would eventually let go once she found someone else to love. And for a little while, I deluded myself to believe that she had let go. And then I found the book…_again_.

Peyton and I may have been in love. But it wasn't true love always. It wasn't the love you carved on trees, signifying forever. If it was always, she would have never gone back to him. She would have run after me instead of running back to Tree Hill.

Everyday since we broke up, I've wanted to kick myself for not reading the damn book after the first time I met her. Then I would have steered clear of the emo fairytale of Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer. But then I wouldn't have experienced love. It wasn't true love, but it was love. And I would never give that away. No matter how un-manly and pathetic I sound. Being in love with Peyton Sawyer will always be a cherished time in my life – no matter how much it hurt.

That's the real reason why I had decided to turn _his_ novel into a movie. I wanted the world to be introduced to and to possibly fall in love with the woman that took my breath away.

"What are you doing here, producer boy?" a familiar raspy voice calls me out of my deep thoughts. Speaking of taking my breath away, I was so deep in thought that the voice of Brooke Davis nearly scares me shitless.

"Isn't it obvious?" I mutter without looking at her. She stands directly in front of my window; but I merely stared through the sliver of glass that her narrow waist failed to cover. The new Scotts are gone now; only a few straggling friends are left, including the brunette fashionista that is now heaving a deep sigh.

"It's over, Julian. Go home," she whispers with a hint of empathy. I read the book a lot more times than I would have liked to – her "Go home" statement really meant, "Don't make the same mistakes and investments in love that I did."

Well, it is a little too late for that. I am still here in Tree Hill, aren't I?

I remain silent, stoic, and frozen; my face staring ahead at the parade of cars on their way to the reception. I want her to leave and let me be. But of course, she can't risk me ruining her best friends' day for her. With one swift motion, she whips out her iPhone, utters a mere two words, and bends down to my eye level.

She doesn't say a word. She just stares. I must admit, the girl can be quite scary. Now I know how Peyton must have felt whenever she got on Brooke's bad side.

Within minutes a tow truck, very similar to the one described in _his_ lovely novel, parks right behind my Mercedes.

"That is Marcus. He's going to follow you and make sure you go home ok. Wherever home is," Brooke states sternly, a hint of threatening in her voice. Where is the blackmail, though? "If you don't turn your engine on within the next sixty seconds, he's really going to make sure you get home ok. Got it, buster?" Ah there it is.

"He's not going to tow anything with me still in the car," I attempt to debate. I hope that the denizens of Tree Hill were a lot more law abiding than Scott and Davis clans.

"You have forty seconds," her stern voice and raised eyebrow reinforce her threat. And with that, she stands up and briskly walks away from the so called scene that was sure to be blamed on me.

And for a second, as I watch Miss Davis walk away, my male piggish tendencies kick in and I can't help but notice how amazing her ass looks in that dress. But the one second was fleeting because, of course, my heart reminds me that the shade of dress Brooke was wearing was the same shade of dress Peyton had worn on our fifth date.

What am I still doing here? She's never going to come back to me. And as I finally relinquish a tear to stray down my cheek and onto my steering wheel, I decide to drive off to the airport. I'm leaving and never coming back.

_**

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Brooke's POV**__; the reception_

My eyes scan the room quickly while the vibration in my purse continues on. I calculate that I only have a mere two minutes before anybody notices that the maid of honor is not making rounds or tending to the bride.

"I think he's leaving Tree Hill. He's heading to the airport," I hear Marcus inform me as I make a quick dash for the ladies room. My mouth is left agape; no sound escaping.

"Huh?" is all I can muster. That takes me aback more than my unexpected gagging reflex during the ceremony.

"That's good right?" Marcus asks a bit puzzled.

"Um, yeah. Thanks," I answer. The call disconnects and my ninety seconds away from the reception are up. But I don't move. Like Julian was earlier, I remain frozen in my stance. A bit shocked, a bit relieved, but mostly puzzled. Thoughts and questions swirl in my mind.

Is he leaving because of the wedding? Lucas' movie isn't done shooting in North Carolina yet. What's going to happen to the movie? Is he finalizing things in LA so that he could move permanently to Tree Hill? Was he planning to ruin Peyton's life? Or Lucas' life? Was it something I said? Damn it, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. At least then he would still be in Tree Hill and Marcus could still keep an eye on him for me.

Yes, I get paranoid. But it's only because I care about Peyton and Lucas. Julian can not ruin this day for them. To say I am a bit perplexed is an understatement.

"Aunt Brooke," a jubilant yet tiny voice called out to me, "Peyton is looking for you!" Six year old Lily Scott bounces inside and brings me out of my confused bewilderment. Shaking my head, I decide that Julian and his actions are nothing to worry over.

He is supposed to be the Brooke Davis of the present day, right? There's no way he will try to sabotage Peyton's happiness. But then I realize Julian isn't Brooke Davis. I don't know who Julian is. Like him with me, I only know the stories about him. And you know what they say about books and their covers.

With another smile placed strategically on my face, I lift Karen's adorable daughter in my arms and we both head back to the party. The party doesn't have to find out about the departure of Julian just yet. At least not till I find him first. If he is hurting as much as I was six years ago…well, even though I didn't initially like the guy, he didn't deserve what he is going through.

**

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A/N**: So what do you guys think so far? Good? Bad? Intrigued? Bored? Team Brulian? Team Brucas? Team Leyton? Team Pulian?


	2. Let Go and Fly Already

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

**by**: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**Note to new readers**: I started writing this before episode 611, so anything after 610 in OTH world doesn't apply to my story.

**A/N**: Thank you toddntan, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, TeamSophia, Crimson-Kiss17, Maroonieee, and cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 for your reviews! I know most of you are Brucas fans - I am too - but I have a feeling you may not like the end of this chapter, just a warning. But you'll understand why I had to write it the way that I did. Keep an open mind :)

Also, two more characters appear in this chapter. I had a lot of fun with one in particular. The other character is one I made up. Her name is Sienna and is a friend of Julian and Peyton's from LA. Her time in my story is short for now, but if I decide to bring her back, I'll create a complete background for her.

Read away and enjoy!

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Chapter 2: Let Go and Fly Already**

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Brooke's POV**__; the reception_

I continue to tap my fingers on the mahogany bar in a rhythmic motion. My other hand brings the welcoming chills of a mojito to my lips. I have yet to decide whether or not I should track down Producer Boy, but I figure I should try to enjoy the wedding celebration before I worry about anything else.

Above the rim of my glass, I notice the newlyweds, glistening like a new pair of Jimmy Choos in a display window…ok, so they're hotter than shoes, but glistening stilettos are cooler than glistening chandeliers. A tiny smile creeps up on my face as I notice the joy exuding from my best friend's face. And my heart then sighs at a love long lost. I listen to my heart and begin to down the mojito like a marathon runner craving water.

An arrogant laughter echoes from the other end of the bar. My attention spikes at a voice that hasn't rung in my ears since I was gallivanting around Hollywood two years ago. And once I heard said voice, I bolted out of the VIP lounge, confusing all my friends. That reminds me, I need to call Natalie back.

"Well, well," I hear him exclaim.

"Oh dear god," I mutter with a roll of my eyes and turn to face the not so welcomed acquaintance. Unfortunately for me, Sam, Jamie, and Lily are blocking my escape path with their cute rendition of a three person waltz. If it wasn't for the blue eyed faux-gentleman approaching me, I would laugh at the sight.

"If it isn't the hottest slice of cheerleader pie that I've ever had," he haughtily chimes as I glare at him and set my glass down on the bar.

"And if it isn't the most disgusting slice of pie _ever_," I respond with sarcastic excitement. We both eye each other up and down, realizing our physical appearances haven't changed that much. I notice his hair is still as big and inflated as his ego. Ugh, I can't believe I know what this guy looks like naked. I can't believe I _remember_ what he looks like naked.

"Stop lying to yourself. You know you still want another slice of Keller," he leans his elbows and back on the bar in a suave, James Dean like manner. To strangers and fans, Chris Keller can pass for a modern day 'Rebel Without a Cause.' But I am not a stranger and I definitely am not a fan.

"As much as I would like a puss infected sore to surface on my face," I counter, my sarcastic smile still in place. I lean on the bar next to him, trying to eye what he's staring at. I ask him what the hell he's doing here since last I recall, nobody around this part of North Carolina has shown an inkling of friendliness to the guy.

"Just came to pass on some Congrats to Goldilocks," he replies nonchalantly. Without looking at me, I'm sure he can sense my eyebrow cocking in curiosity and shock. But before I can utter a "How the hell" type question, Peyton runs towards us with a gleam in her eye.

"Keller! What the hell, man?" she exclaims with glee. She fails to notice the baffled expression on my face.

"The hell yourself, Goldie," he responds just as enthusiastically and pulls her in for a friendly hug.

As the two exchange 'How are you's' and whatnot, my face starts to hurt with the constant change of shock expressions it goes through. I finally get the two long lost friends' attention when I physically pull Peyton away from the fourth "What the hell?" moment of the day.

Along with when and where their sudden camaraderie occurred, I also ask why she didn't bother to tell her best friend when she became "buddy buddy" with the egotistical musician standing next to us. She says that at the time, she came to the conclusion that ultimately, she didn't think it mattered. After all, Chris never mattered to anyone back in high school, why did it matter later on?

"Hey, Chris Keller always matters," Chris defends him self. I ignor the third person reference and push Peyton for answers.

Apparently, Chris signed with Peyton's LA label a few months after Lucas' first disaster of a proposal, and the two hung out a few times at the studio whenever he would record. And hanging out time increased even more so after Peyton and Julian became an item. The thought of passing on this information never crossed her mind, despite our life long friendship.

"Besides," she continues to explain, "It's not like you were sharing a lot of life info either. You were busy with school, your brand, Victoria and - "

"And you were still friends with Lucas," Chris interrupts.

"You, hush," I exclaim with a pointed finger. It is weird enough seeing the two exchange pleasantries with each other, I don't need to watch as they finish each others' sentences.

"Stay." I warn as I slowly pull Peyton away from the pestering gnat that is Chris Keller. "Oh god; he's exactly like a dog. Except with bigger hair," I state when I had pull us far enough away. The guy is actually frozen still, waiting for his next command. But, like any other pre-neutered dog, a pretty girl catches his attention and he disobeys his master.

"Aww come on, he's harmless," Peyton claims with an air of confidence that the guy is indeed just an old friend from yore, "It's just Chris Keller, Brooke." If she wasn't the bride, I would have tried to literally slap some sense into her head. Isn't she the one that was completely against anything Chris Keller back in high school?

"Exactly, Peyton. It's Chris Keller. Obnoxious pig, Chris Keller. The tabloids' favorite bad boy Chris Keller. The initiator of the first Naley earthquake, Chris Keller. The almost deal breaker between me and - " I pause my rambling and shake my head. I don't need to bring up that ugly past on her wedding day. "Ugh, you get my point," I sigh.

"Look, I know he was an ass back then - " Peyton starts in his defense.

"More like major self absorbed jack-ass-hole," I interrupt with crossed arms.

"He's changed over the years," she claims as I respond with a disbelieving face. "Ok, maybe not totally changed, but he's matured like the rest of us," she tries again.

This time I turn her around so that she can watch his pathetic attempts at throwing peanuts into his mouth. He looks like a dog unable to catch his kibble. "Well, sort of," Peyton sighs, still trying to get me to see that Chris Keller has indeed transformed into someone worth hanging out with.

"In case you've forgotten, Peyton, I was in the Hollywood world, too. And from my peripheral vision, the guy still acts like an ass," I try to get her to see my point of view. I mean, I don't think he is a bad guy…he has his moments…he is just…well…ugh he's Chris Keller; how much more of an explanation does someone need?

"You've only hung out with party Chris, and pathetic prom Chris, not studio or homebody Chris," Peyton stats as I continue to observe Chris over her shoulder. The dude is now recovering from dejection and a slap from Millicent. I knew I picked a great assistant.

I force myself to listen to Peyton's reasoning when Chris catches my eye and attempts to exude a Joey Tribiani 'How ya doin?' look. I stifle in laughter when he misses the bar with his elbow and he falls, ass smack down onto the hardwood floor. God, this was too good.

Peyton is silent now, awaiting my decision of whether or not the musician deserves an ounce of friendship from me or the rest of us. "Brooke?" she asks, wondering where my mind has gone. With a heavy sigh, I decide to make her happy. If Peyton doesn't think Chris is so bad anymore, then maybe he isn't.

"You better warn Naley and Lucas before they spot him and kick his ass to the curb. Which is what he deserves, by the way," I say as she hugs me tighter than when I finished her wedding dress.

"Thanks Brooke. I promise he won't do anything. Now go have fun. This is a wedding party, in case you've forgotten," with another hug Peyton runs off to find her husband and in laws.

How can I forget this is a wedding party? I am the maid of honor, dress designer, and co-wedding planner; it's hard not to forget. Besides, I deemed Lucas my first love back in senior year; I have a right to be sentimentally upset. Maybe if I was in love with someone else, I wouldn't be downing drinks over a relationship that ended years ago. Ya ever think of that, Peyton? Ugh.

Geez, stop it, Brooke. Your best friend married your other best friend. You should be happy for them….backspace and delete that…You _are_ happy for them.

_**

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Julian's POV**__; Airport bar_

"You're happy for her. You're happy for her," I repeat the phrase in my head like a scratched, broken record. Damn, it's been over a year already; why is this day hurting more than it's supposed to? Brooke is right; I read that stupid ass book. Being the third person in a Lucas – Peyton love triangle does not end well. I _knew_ that.

It didn't hurt so much when I saw them together for the first time. Hell, I didn't even really care that much. But throw on a tux and white gown on them and you might as well pull an Indiana Jones and have Mola Ram pull my heart out of my chest. Man, where the hell is my plane?

"Baker comma Julian," I suddenly hear from behind me. Sienna? No effin way. It can't be Sienna; she is on a European tour. Isn't she? I spin around and I feel my mouth spread into a wide grin when I notice a familiar smirk and playful deep brown eyes staring back at me.

"What are you doing here, Enns?" I ask as I get up to hug my brunette friend from LA. Talk about a stupid question I instantly think.

"If I told you, you'd probably take another swig of that drink," she confirms my thought – she's here for the all important Sawyer-Scott nuptials.

"You're a little late. The momentous occasion ended an hour ago," I inform her as I indeed take another swig of scotch.

"Yeah, I know. I got held up at customs for a few hours," she shrugs, "But, hey, it's the effort that counts, right? Plus, I got her an awesome gift." She grins widely as she pulls out an ostentatiously decorated package from her duffel.

I merely laugh and roll my eyes at her carefree attitude at missing her friend's wedding. A native Cali girl, I have never known Enna to get stressed about anything. Well, maybe once, over a guy. But she's a girl; guy stress is expected.

"I guess I don't have to ask what you're doing _here_," she motions around us. It's at this instant that I first notice how pathetic I must look drinking by myself at a bar in the middle of a North Carolina airport, sans luggage. She interprets my silence as a 'Yes, don't ask,' answer. But in typical Sienna fashion, she doesn't let the topic go until it's resolved.

"Not to spill alcohol over an open wound, but didn't you leave her?" she reminds me of my crossroad decision that left Peyton heart broken. So heartbroken that after a few months she ventured back to her hometown in hopes of rekindling a high school love.

I sigh and restrain myself from taking another gulp of alcohol. "Yes, I left her; what's your point, Sienna?"

"Just trying to get to the part that leaves you sitting alone at an airport bar," she says with a defensive tone. I guess I should tone down the anger.

"Peyton got married, Enns," I sigh. What more was there to it? "_My_ first love got married to _her_ first love. I think I deserve to feel a little shitty today," it is my turn to be defensive. With a scoff, she shocks me by punching my forearm. "Ow."

"God, will you stop being a girl, already," she complains. Talk about blunt.

"Thanks for the support, Enns," I reply with sarcastic monotone as I take another sip of my Scotch.

"Someone has to set you straight," she insists. She continues to watch me, wondering if I'm ignoring what she's saying. Fortunately for her, I'm not. I ask if she thinks she'll succeed in "setting me straight."

"Baker, you are in the middle of Scott kingdom; producing a movie about the Lucas and Peyton epic romance. What did you think was going to happen?" she asks and steals my beloved drink away from me in the process.

"I was going to make a riveting and dramatic movie about a quaint, but crazy southern town, with a focus on a family more twisted than the psychos on soap operas. And six months later, I go back to LA," I reply.

I look at her; she doesn't believe me. I review my answer in my head. Man, even though it is the honest to goodness truth, I don't even believe me.

"Here's an idea," her tone is very therapist-like now, "Open up the machine to see what went wrong in the first place." Her words instantly transport me back to my first encounter with Peyton. Does Sienna know what she was saying? "And then after that, maybe you can figure out how to move on," she finishes.

"Those are _my_ words," I tell her. Her lips form into a mischievous grin in response to my baffled face. Aww man, Peyton….I hope she didn't tell Enns every detail of our life together.

"Don't you love how things come full circle?" Enns devilishly answers me. "Now, no more small talk; I gotta jet," she stands up and throws her large duffel over her shoulder once again.

"You just got here," I point out even more confused than ever. She traveled for hours all this way just to try to knock some sense into me?

"I know, but technically I'm still on tour. It's not like I anticipated the ten hour delay I would go through. Do me a favor and give Peyton her gift for me, please?" she asks with a child like voice as she kisses my cheek goodbye.

I instantly begin shaking my head vigorously. "No, no, I am not going to - " I start out as she starts to canter happily away, like a mischievous fox. "Enns! No! Enns get back here!" I yell out to her. I don't care who stares, I am not her personal UPS guy. "Just mail it to her or - "

I give up. Damn it, Sienna.

I look back at the bar; the flamboyantly wrapped gift stares back at me. The way it's wrapped, it looks like the damn thing is snickering at me. As if to say, _"__Ha ha, now you have to go and see the long legged blonde. Sucks for you."_

Sienna's repetition of my own words echo in my head, "_Open up the machine to see what went wrong in the first place…_"

What went wrong in the first place? I thought I knew – Lucas, Lucas and his Unkindness of Ravens. And before I came here to produce the movie, I thought I came to terms with leaving Peyton. I should have just done everything by phone; then I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap. How was I supposed to know that she wasn't in LA anymore? Dude, why didn't I just call first? Why did I come here?

And the answer comes to me like a horribly clichéd, lame, animated light bulb. Closure. My heart needs some damn form of resolution. I came here for effin closure.

Shit.

_**

* * *

Brooke's POV**__; the reception_

"So, you wanna know why I'm really here, cheerleader?" Chris' voice interrupts my thoughts for the second time tonight.

"I knew it! You have an ulterior motive; you little conniving - "

"I came to make sure Julian was ok," he utters. Ok, this is now officially the fifth "What the hell?" moment today.

My mind is so shocked by the statement; it forgets to tell my legs to keep standing. Either that or I had one too many glasses of champagne. I feel Chris' strong arms keep me balance and lead me to sit down at a nearby table. Wait; no, don't leave the bar. I like the bar.

After I manage to muster a "What?" from my mouth, Keller sighs, and I sense this is going to be like the tour bus in Honeygrove again. I mean, when the hell does Chris Keller ever open up about anything besides music? Yep, this is like Honeygrove; except this time, he isn't crying. Too bad; I wanted something to laugh at again.

Keller explains how he and Julian met in LA at some coffeehouse acoustic event. They talked about guitars and then about labels, particularly the one that told Julian that his guitar talent wasn't quite up to par. Julian introduced Chris to the label, and after a few weeks, Keller was signed. Later, Chris found out part of it was Peyton's doing. Chris found a girl he liked; Julian had a girl as well (Peyton) and things were good. And then Chris lost his girl and Julian left Peyton. Julian had stayed at Chris' place for a while after and the two are now best buds. Well, close to it. It _is_ Chris Keller.

I remain silent for a few seconds as I ingest all the information. Talk about a small world. I am not quite sure how to respond to any of it.

What am I supposed to say? Wow, that's so cool that you guys are friends? And it's not like I could tell him where Julian is. He could be 50,000 feet in the air for all I know.

"You could just call him, you know," I suggest.

"Yeah…Chris Keller is still recovering from his own phone being thrown at his head by a disappointed groupie," Chris' fingers rub a spot on his forehead that is a tad bit bluer than skin is supposed to be.

I laugh for probably the first time tonight, "Nice to know not everybody has followed Peyton's footsteps onto the 'Chris Keller's not so bad' train."

"Give it a little time, and you'll be begging for a first class seat," Chris smirks. I guess "homebody" Chris has left the building. I don't snap back with something snarky; even though it would be my usual response. Instead, thinking of Julian, I get up from the table and lean into Chris' ear.

"He went to the airport; I think he's leaving for L.A," I tell him. I don't bother with any "I hope you find him" sort of sayings or goodbyes. I just leave. Partly because I know Keller is like an annoying cockroach; he sure will surface again. My hasty departure is mainly because I can not wait to spill this incredible cup – no gallon – of gossip to Haley.

Teacher mom, teacher mom, where are you? As soon as I spot her and Nathan on the dance floor with Jamie, Lily, Peyton and Lucas, I halt in my tracks. Do I want to go in and bust a move with the Scotts by myself? But of course that decision isn't made by me.

"You're family, too, you know," Chris whispers in my ear as he leaves the banquet hall.

Oh god, he has changed. And just as quickly he appeared, he's gone. I wonder if anybody noticed.

And now _he_ eyes me from his little family circle. And with a twinkle in his eye, his gorgeous smile, and a nod of his head, Lucas Scott, the famous author, asks me to join them, using no words. I smile and shake my head. I can never say 'no' to that smile.

As I get closer to the Scott family dance circle, Lucas kisses Peyton's forehead and steps away from the group. We meet halfway just as the DJ decides to switch from fast paced to slow paced. The familiar chords of 'Boston' by Augustana reverberate around us, and for a moment it's just me and him. He holds out his hand, "I believe you still owe the groom a dance, Brooke Davis."

I laugh and accept his hand as he twirls me into the classic waltz position. As we dance slowly to familiar lyrics – "You don't know me and you don't wear my chains" – my mind can't help but flash back to Nathan and Haley's wedding five years ago. I wonder if he even remembers.

"Did you miss me while you were away?" he breaks our silence with a slight smile.

Startled by the question, I laugh nervously. "What are you talking about, Author Boy?"

"Nathan and Haley's wedding, we were alone on the dance floor," he attempts to remind me. I don't need a reminder. I know who he is quoting. It is the question I asked him all those years ago.

I start to wonder why he brought it up, on _his wedding day_ even. And I realize what he means. I am the one that left him when I broke it off. He is asking if I missed all the times we shared together – and all the love and what ifs for our future. Because now, we definitely will never have it.

Well, Lucas, of course we'll never have it. You were the one that made me leave and you were the one that chose Peyton over and over again. Why are you asking me this question? You know what the answer is.

"So...did you miss me?" he asks me again, this time with playful banter in his deep tone.

"Everyday," I answer with a slight smile and rest my head on his shoulder. I will always miss what we could have had. My heart heaves a deep sigh and I remain quiet, not wanting to talk about anything anymore.

We dance silently for the remainder of the song, holding each other the same way we did five years ago. Unlike five years ago, it doesn't end with a passionate kiss. But like last time, it does end with a form of good bye.

"I love you, Brooke Davis," he grins. God, I wish I could know what he is thinking right now.

"I love you too, Lucas Scott," I smile back. I close my eyes when I feel his warm lips on my forehead. And I engrave this moment in my memory because it's the day I finally completely let go of Lucas Scott. Or at least, I hope I do…for everyone's sake.

**

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A/N:** And there it is. So, if you haven't figured out already, the purpose of this chapter was for a sense of closure for Brucas and Pulian. But just because Brooke and Julian are looking for complete closure doesn't mean there's no hope for Brucas or Pulian. I will say that Brulian has really grown on me since I even thought about writing this story. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm still torn on which way to go for the couples, so I guess you all will have to wait and see.

So, tell me what you think about the chapter or story in general. If you have any ideas don't be afraid to voice them; they always spark inspiration. :)

Oh and I can't wait for tonight's 1940s episode!!


	3. Its Closed Lets Go

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

**by**: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**Note to new readers**: I started writing this before episode 611, so anything after 610 in OTH world doesn't apply to my story.

**A/N: **Thank you Iz-Belle91, chechinou, princetongirl, TeamSophia, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, xPrettygirl23x, QuieraStrawberry9, and toddntan for your reviews! I appreciate them so much!

I'm so glad so many of you like that Chris Keller is in the story. He's going to be a major character, so hopefully I'll do him justice. And I'm amazed at all the pro Brulian comments. Especially after episode 6.12, I'm really feeling Brulian. But I still won't forget about Brucas, as you'll soon see. I don't want to spoil things, so I'm not going to say who's end game.

toddntan: haha, even though it's only been two chapters, i like reading your reviews. also, i don't plan on having too much leyton - just enough as the story needs. i think the couple is represented enough on tv right now. and all i want is a happy brooke too.

QuieraStrawberry9 and TeamSophia: I, too, think Brooke is too good to get sloppy seconds or be second best, but later on you'll see how I'll "fix" all that.

chechinou: thank you so much for that awesome compliment. when i started this, i knew i didn't want to have leyton all of a sudden fall out of love, because it wouldn't seem realistic. i'm glad you are enjoying my story. sorry if you don't get too much leyton, especially right now, but hopefully brulian will be awesome for you.

And sorry you guys had to wait awhile for this, but here it is! I decided to use my profile for when I know there will be a lull in between updates (like if it'll be more than three days); so check that if you're curious as to when updates will occur. Enjoy!

**

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Chapter 3: Its Closed; Let's Go.**

_**

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Julian's POV**__; the reception_

Before I even reach the double doors to the complex, I hear the melodic sounds of the party echo through the walls. I look back towards my car and notice my good friend, Chris Keller, urging me to go inside. I can't believe Sienna conveniently could not attend this shindig.

The popular producer I am, I have crashed a Brooke Davis party and attended a Peyton Sawyer one. I can only imagine the opulence, grandeur, and musicality a party planned by both the fashion designer and record producer will be like. With a deep inhale I walk through the foyer; and before I reach the main room, I halt at the sight of the back of the bride. Her blonde curls are fashioned in one of those, half up, half down, styles. The length of her dress cascades gracefully towards the floor, the hem just barely brushing the surface of the carpet. The ensemble has no veil or no train; it is simplicity with a touch of Sawyer.

"Julian," she gasps, undoubtedly shocked to see me standing here. She's not the only one that's shocked. And even though she's thousands of miles in the air right now, I can see Sienna smirking at the whole situation. Oh Sienna, if only I could kick your ass right now.

"Peyton," I respond. I don't tell her that she looks amazing, beautiful, or gorgeous. She can probably gather that from my expression. And then there's also the little fact that everyone has probably told her a thousand times tonight; I don't feel like adding my name to that list.

"I thought you weren't coming," she asks me warily with a hint of aggravation. Don't worry, Peyton, I sure as hell do not want to crash this festivity. And even if I did, I wouldn't be standing here with an insanely wrapped wedding present. I'd be by raiding the open bar and hitting on the bridesmaids like any normal ex boyfriend would be.

"I thought so, too," I agree with her, "I came to drop off Sienna's gift." I hold out the present to her, eager to get the condescending thing off of my hands. The glittering ribbons are still snickering at me. It's as if they know that the awkwardness of this encounter is getting to me.

"Oh," she takes the gift carefully, searching for the card or tag. Damn; does she not believe me? If I would have gotten her a gift, I wouldn't lie about it. And I sure as hell would have chosen different wrapping paper. I watch as the look of doubt vanishes when she does notice Sienna's inscription written on the gift tag.

"She seemed ecstatic about missing this whole thing," I joke; she knows what I really mean. "But more than anything, I think she wanted to torture me," I add. Sarcasm is a strong suit when I want to avoid niceties or emotional talk. But, then again, I can't just let this encounter end on a mere, simple "Oh." I need closure, right? Better get it over with now than wait two more weeks. Damn it; two weeks – two weeks of halted production. That's going to cost the studio.

"Thanks for telling me," she responds with what seems to be a genuine smile…well, half smile.

There's a little bit of silence now; silence that's starting to grow more awkward with each tick of the clock. I don't know if she's trying to figure out what else to say, or if she's waiting for me to make a snide comment. I decide to ask how she is, but she beats me to it.

"How have you been?" her eyes spark just a tad and I wonder if she ever regrets how everything ended.

"Probably not as happy as you are right now," I answer. Yeah it was harsh, but it was true. Her eyes shift down to the floor and her cheeks blush in awkward embarrassment of this whole ordeal.

"Sorry. I meant that you look really happy. And you know, you should be," I try to rectify, but am only met with silence. Well, the fact that she hasn't run off yet is a good sign.

_**

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Brooke's POV**__; the reception_

The purse couldn't have just run off, the thing has no legs. I absolutely love weddings, but there is one thing that I hate about them; it's the stresses and mishaps that occur during the event. Despite the fact that Peyton and I planned every detail perfectly, the occasional torn garter, lost bow tie, and late florist still occurred. And now, there is a purse that has lost its owner. I leave the cocktail room empty handed with a sigh. Where is Peyton? She better be looking for her purse as well because I am not spending the rest of the night looking for her -

"Everyday, huh?" Lucas' voice interrupts my frantic search, causing me to gasp and almost jump out of my skin.

"You really know how to scare a girl. And you know I was quoting _you_, right?" I ask him. Why he is bringing up Naley wedding again is beyond me. I thought my silence on the dance floor was an indicator that we shouldn't talk about any of that stuff anymore. But then again, maybe he just wants to make small talk.

"I don't know…you sounded pretty nostalgic to me," he replies with a grin.

"You brought it up, mister," I remind him as I continue to peruse around the bridal dressing room. Ahh, there you are, you sneaky, little thing. I grab Peyton's purse from underneath a chair and wonder how the hell it got there in the first place. Oh, well, at least I found it. And now to evade Lucas and whatever he wanted to talk about; and find Peyton before she makes her own wedding dress dirty by crawling underneath tables looking for a purse.

"Well, I missed you too, Brooke," Lucas tells me as helps me up off my knees.

"I hate to break it to you, Luke, but you're five years too late," I brush the dust off my knees. Where the hell is he going with all of this?

"Or I'm right on time," he quips, his lighthearted grin is really confusing the hell out of me.

"Did you have too much champagne? Do you know what today is? Wait, are you sick?" I ask him as I pretend to feel if his forehead is burning from a raging fever.

"I know what today is. And I know what next week is too," he tells me as he pushes my hand away. Eww, he better not be talking about the honeymoon.

"Please don't tell me the details about your and Peyton's rite of passage into marriage because I really don't want to - "

"Your birthday," he announces as he holds out a medium sized gift bag in my favorite shade of blue – robin's egg Tiffany's blue. Normally, I would jump up and down like a crazy five year old when a present is thrown my way. But this time, I am hesitant to take what is in front of me. Because this isn't just any birthday gift - this gift is from Lucas, a gift he is giving me on _his_ wedding day. I leave my mouth slightly agape as I continue to stare down the gift.

"Peyton and I aren't going to be here, so I thought, or we thought, we would give you this now since we're leaving early tomorrow," Luke explains, no doubt trying to ease my initial shock. Ok, so the gift is from him _and_ Peyton…but still…

"Luke," I shake my head as I reluctantly take the gift dangling in front of me, "You guys didn't have to do this. Actually the two of you shouldn't have done this at all." _I_ didn't even remember my own birthday; they _really_ didn't' have to do this. And why is he giving me it a week early? There's nothing wrong with giving it a week late.

"Just open it, Brooke," he encourages me.

"Luke," I repeat as I cautiously pull the tissue paper out of the bag. I stare at the gift – two plane tickets to Milan, an itinerary for the fashion shows for this week, Sam's school work that she would be missing, a card from Peyton elaborating why her best maid of honor should go on this Italian vacation, and even a short note from Julian saying it was ok for me to leave the set this week.

"I know its weird giving it to you today, but you see why I have to give this to you now, right?" he asks me. He remembered; I can't believe he remembered. "They told us that all the hotels were booked. But you're Brooke Davis; they'll make room for you," Lucas comments. Where did all of this come from?

A flash of a few weeks ago pops into my head. I had been complaining that I was lacking inspiration for my new line and that I wished I could go to the Versace and Gucci shows for some sort of stimulation. Viewing fashion live and in person is a totally different experience than viewing a slideshow online. But the movie and Sam's school schedule prevented me from arranging a trip.

Oh my god, he remembered. And not only that, it was like he thought of everything I would need to do before I left. But, this was typical Lucas Scott.

"Thank you," I barely whisper. I am blown away, but there is no way I am going to take this gift. "But, I'm not going to accept this," I push the bag and its contents into his hands.

Even though the gift is from both him and Peyton, it is all just too much. I can't accept anything of this magnitude from him. And maybe even Peyton. It doesn't feel right and I don't want it. This gift is more than just a pair of plane tickets. This is Lucas trying to make one of my dreams come true, five years too late. All I want from Lucas is friendship, doesn't he know that? Not whatever else all this is. If he thinks this is just a simple birthday gift, he needs to re-examine his motives. So much is happening in this one day, it needs to stop.

And it hit me; wishing for Italy is simply a fantasy, not a dream I want to come true. This is me letting go. I'm letting go of the fantasy. I don't want nor need Lucas Scott, the romantic make your dreams come true guy. I just need Lucas Scott, the friend. Unfortunately, Lucas has trouble distinguishing between the two. I need to make Lucas see that he only needs to make his and Peyton's dreams come true; no one else's. Not Nathan's, not Jamie's, and especially not mine. I can make my own dreams come true.

"Brooke," Lucas begins to protest, but I simply shake my head. He tries to hand the gift over to me again, but I pull away.

"Lucas, I love you. And I love you and Peyton for thinking of me. Even for somehow getting Julian to agree to this. But I don't want it. I won't take it. I'm sorry," I watch as his face falls, puzzled as to why I am declining such an amazing opportunity and present. "I have to find Peyton," I say as I run out of the parlor and leave Lucas looking a little dejected. Man, I can't believe he remembered.

_**

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Julian's POV**__; the reception_

"When did you see Sienna?" Peyton asks, breaking our silence. I don't know where she's going with this so I decide to just answer truthfully.

"At the airport, like an hour ago," I reveal. She responds with a raised brow. I stop myself from rolling my eyes and explain what I was doing at the airport.

"Because of all the delays, by the time her plane landed, she had no time to stop by before her next flight. She figured you'd appreciate the gift more if it wasn't thrown around and wrecked in a mail truck." It is ninety five percent of the truth. No way am I going to tell her the other five percent – like why I really was at the airport in the first place. That would imply I still have feelings for her.

Ok, so I had scraps that popped up because of her wedding day, but I'm not still in love with her. I mean, I need closure because I just abruptly walked out on her when I saw the damn book for the hundredth time. Sienna was right a year ago when she told me that we needed a "proper goodbye."

But before I can attempt to continue with this weird conversation, I see the maid of honor running up to Peyton. She obviously has not recognized me yet or else she would have slowed her fast pace.

"Peyton, I found your -" Brooke pauses. Ha. She notices me.

"Purse," she finishes with a swift glimpse at both of our faces. Peyton looks towards Brooke with a slight smile and takes her purse. It's funny to watch two best friends attempt to communicate with nothing but facial expressions. I wish I could record it so that I could dub it with funny subtitles.

Peyton implores into my eyes. I can tell she's wondering if she should get Brooke to kick me out. "I better get back," she says, deciding I'm not here to ruin anything, "Thanks for, um, bringing this."

I give no response, unless you count a bob of the head, and the action of putting hands in your pockets, as a response. Peyton sighs and turns to return to her reception. I don't know if it is the sigh or if it is noticing her curls walk away again, but I get a sudden urge to wish her well. This is something that doesn't happen to me often, since I'm more of an "Ok, see ya when I see ya," kind of guy.

"Peyton," I yell out. The way she elegantly turns back around is like that scene in the Pirates sequel when Keira Knightly looks ever so gracefully behind her, in her wedding dress.

"Congratulations. I'm happy for you," I divulge with the first smile I've donned that night...ok, three quarters of a smile. "I really am...happy for you."

Her shoulders shift as if a huge weight that she has been carrying for months have finally been lifted off. I guess she was looking for a small gesture of closure too. "Thank you Julian. That means a lot. I'm glad you stopped by," she smiles…a full smile this time.

"And I guess, filming can stop for one week, but not two," I compromise. That could be my wedding gift to them…now I just have to convince the studio that filming is better left alone until Lucas gets back. It is half of his vision anyway, especially since he had a producer title. Shit, Tree Hill was making me soft.

Peyton's eyes light up even more now, happy and shocked at what I had essentially done. I give her a nod and she heads off back to her friends and family.

"Pretty noble, mister," Brooke's sultry voice surprises me. I forgot she is still standing here. I look at the fashion maven who has her hands on her hips and an expression of awe.

"Is Brooke Davis giving me a compliment?" I ask with a smirk. This is sure a first.

"Maybe," she shrugs one shoulder, "I like to call it an observation."

"And I like to call it 'something I should have said a long time ago,'" I respond as I my right hand feels my phone vibrate in my pocket. Figuring its Chris wondering why I'm taking so long, I ignore the call. I am leaving now anyway.

Brooke, meanwhile, contemplates on my answer, trying to figure out exactly what I mean. I decide to leave her to her thoughts. "I'm gonna head out," I start for the lovely red exit sign. _Yes, almost out_. Keller better still be outside with my car still intact.

"Julian," Brooke calls. _Oh, so close_. I turn slowly, wondering what more she could possibly talk to me about. Doesn't she have maid of honor duties to go back to? "I don't mean to pry, but…" she pauses. I hold in a chuckle, that sure is a lie.

"Who am I kidding, I always love to pry," she announces my thoughts aloud. "Are you leaving?" She crosses her arms in curiosity.

"Yes. I believe that's what 'I'm going to head out,' means," I respond with an inflection of sarcasm. But I know what she's really asking – whether or not I'm leaving Tree Hill anytime soon.

"You were at the airport," her voice is serious, but her face appears amused at the fact that I'm still standing here, mere feet away from the wedding party and mere feet away from escaping whatever Brooke Davis wants to throw my way. "I wasn't kidding when I said Marcus would follow you," she adds.

"Really? Is that what that huge black truck on my tail was?" I ask feigning shock. Damn kid nearly rear ended me at a stop light. If it isn't for the fact that we are at Peyton's wedding and the fact that Brooke is looking so great under these lights, I would yell at her for having me followed.

"You know, next time just call me. It's easier."

"So going to the airport was a big ruse?" she questions, furrowing her brows.

"I got as far as the terminal, but then I remembered I still have a movie to complete. You know, the one about, you, Haley, Nathan, and - oh - both of our exes," I emphasize the word both and exes. She laughs lightly at my explanation.

"You say exes like it's a bad thing," she says when she notices my confused look.

That's what she is laughing at? Usually, after you break up with someone, you get angry at them and don't want to see them again. And sometimes that second part comes true; you don't become friends afterwards…sometimes. Brooke/Lucas and Nathan/Peyton are the obvious exception to that rule. I wonder if I will be included in this, but then Lucas sucker punching me in the nose flashes in my mind.

"I don't know if you know this, but exes usually _are_ a bad thing," I inform Brooke.

"But in this case, they're _not_," she counters. Touché. I wonder when this sudden soft spot for Lucas and Peyton first appeared. The Brooke in the book was certainly anti 'Leyton,' wasn't she? I guess this is what Lucas meant when he wrote that she was the one that had grown the most. Either that or she grew tired of wasting her time on unnecessary high school drama. I'm guessing it's 80% growing up and 20% growing tired.

"You better not be turning soft on me, Davis," I smirk.

"Just another observation, Baker," she smiles back. "You didn't have to, you know," she tells me. _Have to what?_ I ask with a puzzled look. "Make the movie," she finishes.

"As shitty as the situation is, it's a great story that should be told," I state. It isn't a lie. Whether or not I am personally involved in the second or third Lucas-Peyton triangle, the story is good. I am not going to let personal conflictions ruin a potential box office hit.

"As crappy as that sounded, I agree," Brooke nods. I chuckle at her use of the word crappy – a side effect from being around Jamie and Sam too much.

"And I, for one, think it's great that you're staying," Brooke adds to my surprise.

"You eyeing something you want? Because I might be happy to oblige," I shamelessly flirt with her. I can't help it; even if she didn't notice it, she set it up with the 'it's great you're staying' statement.

"Oh there is something I want," she seductively walks up closer to me like a 1940s vixen. "Employment," she states. I merely laugh and shake my head.

"What does being the movie's costume designer have anything to do with me staying in Tree Hill?" I ask her.

"You're my boss; I'm supposed to kiss a little producer ass once in a while," she quips, "God knows I loved that part when I was the boss of my own company." So her niceness is because she believes in karma. If she kisses ass now, people will continue to kiss her ass later? Or maybe she just wants to confuse the hell out of me. I vote for the second reason.

"Literally will get you places," I decide to play around with her words a little more. She scoffs at my innuendo while I merely grin.

"I don't think so," she shakes her head 'no,' "I've been to places, my friend. I'll stick with figuratively."

"So I'm your friend now?" I ask. This is just too easy.

"I told you once before, Baker. I'm not telling you again," she replies. Ahh yes - the "purely business and nothing else" relationship contract – if Brooke had it her way, it would be the "no such thing" relationship contract; but, Sam convinced her to take on the costume designer job and start a business friendship with me. Anything for the kid, I guess.

"So, _friend_, how's the party of the year going?" I end my playful banter. She looks back inside the hall and eyes what I eye – a party full of nothing but laughter and smiles. Exactly how it should be and how it should stay. And the only way it'll stay that way is if I leave before certain people notice me.

"It's going," she states turning back to face me, "Something you should probably be doing. You don't want the photographer to take a snapshot of Lucas pummeling your ass. Although, now that I think about it, that would make a great scrapbook page."

"He wouldn't 'pummel' anything," I defend myself. No way would he beat up the producer of his movie. "And I would like nothing more than to leave." Peyton and I ended things on a good note; I don't want to ruin it with Lucas sucker punching me again.

"What's stopping you?" she asks. I can tell she's really wondering why I've been talking to her the past five minutes if all I want to do was jet out of here.

"Well, I think my ride is flirting with one of the wedding guests," I motion my head towards inside the banquet hall. That is one reason why I continued to talk to her. The other is that compared to all the other fashion divas and costume designers I know, Brooke is quite entertaining. But she doesn't need to know that.

I realize I always have fun talking to Brooke, even if half the time she would be warning me about keeping distance from her, her kid, and/or her best friends. The girl has wit and would spill out the craziest, most animated sentences. A conversation with Brooke Davis is never boring. Well, unless she would be talking about shoes. I could care less about shoes.

But enough about shoes, I wonder if Brooke has noticed Chris and Samantha conversing. She obviously hasn't, because her squinting eyes are still looking around the party. I'm sure Chris is completely innocent, possibly asking Sam where the older hot girls are, or if she has seen me around. But, Brooke doesn't know Chris like I do. Who knows what she will be thinking once she notices him talking to her?

"And you thought I was the pervert" I joke, as I physically point out Chris chatting up Samantha. Brooke follows my gaze towards the right side of the lavishly decorated room. Astonishment, or maybe anger, begins to emanate from her irises.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she mutters under her breath as she makes her way into the reception. I decide not to follow; I don't need to add to the trouble that was sure to ensue. And as I wait outside the party for Chris to run from a fuming Brooke Davis, I laugh at the current scene and at her screaming words.

"Keller, get your filthy, bad boy wannabe, egotistical, grimy paws away from my kid!" Yup, Brooke Davis is never boring.

**

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A/N: **Finally, some letting go and closure for Brooke and Julian...and now the craziness can begin. Lol. So, how was the chapter? Please tell me what you think, don't be shy :)

And as for what happened in episode 6.12...the stuff about Brooke's attacker and stuff, I'm trying to figure out if I can fit all that in my story. This story is supposed to be more light hearted and less dramatic than the show...but, I feel like I can't ignore that storyline because it's gotten so majorly intertwined with Sam now (I wanted her to be a part of this story, too). But, I did say whatever happens after 6.10 doesn't apply... Anyways, that's just me throwing my thoughts out there.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and be on the lookout for a quick update.


	4. Uncharacteristically Awake

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

**by**: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**Note to new readers**: I started writing this before episode 611, so anything after 610 in OTH world doesn't apply to my story.

**A/N: **Thank you to: CheeryBroody83, gigglingismylife, mcdreamyslover, ParadiseLost23, BrathanBrucasBaleyBreyton, p0line, toddntan, Iz-Belle91, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 for all your reviews!! I really really appreciate them and I know it's cliche, but they really help inspire and motivate me. Even your rants about Lucas or Peyton help lol. Anyways, I'm also glad to see a lot more Brulianites out there. I just finished watching the Brulian scenes from 612 for the second time because I can't get enough of them now. Lol.

BrathanBrucasBaleyBreyton: Baley and Brathan friendship convos will be coming up, so be on the lookout for that

CheeryBroody83: Your comment about what Luke was thinking sparked an idea in my head - so when they get back from their trip, we'll get to see what luke and peyton are thinking. for brucas fans, don't worry, it's not going to be how much they love each other.

Iz-Belle91: Lol. Umm, i'm just going to say, we'll see what happens with Peyton.

cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01: Thanks for your confidence about me incorporating John/Jack Daniels into my story. I'm typing some stuff out now, but whether or not I keep it, we'll see.

I hope all of you enjoy this chapter because I had so much fun writing it. So sit back, grab a nice hot beverage (if you're in the cold like I am) and get ready to laugh a little.

**

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Chapter 4: Uncharacteristically Awake This Fine Morning**

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Brooke's POV**__; Brooke's house_

"It's about time you had some guys over," Sam immediately tells me when I arrive downstairs, "I was beginning to think you were a prude or something."

_Good morning to you, too, Sam_. What the hell is she talking about anyway? And then the events of late last night reel back into my head. Oh man, that wasn't a dream? I turn to find Julian Baker and Chris Keller sleeping on my couches. Well…Chris' long frame is barely hanging onto the loveseat. How the hell he's still asleep in that awkward, advanced yoga like position, is beyond me. When I said the two could spend the night, I didn't mean staying well into the ten o'clock morning hour.

"So since you had boys over, does that mean I can - "

"What do you think, Sam?" I cut her off.

"Well, why not? I'm not going to do anything," she insists.

"Reason one: because you're fifteen. Two: because I would like your innocence to stay intact longer than mine did. And three: because these things are not boys," I point to the guests in front of me, "They're insects who never go away no matter how much repellent you spray on them."

They aren't insects in a bad way…just in an annoying way. Unfortunately for my couches, because of the wedding, Nice Brooke is in residence instead of Bitchy Brooke.

Late last night, I saw Chris and Julian walking on the sidewalks around my neck of the neighborhood and arguing like pissed off college roommates. Apparently, they had decided to go wander around town after I told Chris to leave the wedding reception. Some hours later, Chris managed to lose all of their cash and Julian's car keys. Julian said it was a long story better left untold. Talk about 2005 senior year déjà vu – except instead of Nathan that nearly gets screwed over, its Julian.

I didn't understand why Julian didn't abandon Chris to teach him a lesson, but I guess it is true that they were best buds. After some pondering I found it safe to assume that there is more to Keller losing his girlfriend than he let on at the wedding reception. If it is heartbreak that got them into this mess, then I feel for Chris.

After a long night of cleaning up after the wedding, I was too exhausted to drive anywhere else besides my own home. Under the stipulation that they didn't destroy or harm anything in my household, I allowed Chris and Julian to stay one night. And now, some hours later, I'm standing in front of two snoring sleepyheads, trying to figure out a way to explain all of this to my foster child.

"So if I got this metaphor thing correctly, I'm going to guess that you still haven't changed your mind about Chris and Julian," Sam breaks me out of my mini flashback from last night. Right…the insects thing.

"Ok, no more metaphors," I mumble. "It's time for a lesson on responsibility," I enthusiastically exclaim. Yeah, I get random hyper moments when I get stressed out. And as much as I want to give my child a proper lecture, Chris Keller's snores were getting louder, thereby distracting and stressing me out about the situation even more.

"Ok, Sam, listen carefully...If you are lucky, and I mean _very_ lucky, _this _right here …" I motion and point out the sight in front of us, "is what happens when you gallivant all night and are left with no phone, no money, or no other way of getting home because you lost your best friend's car keys," my enthusiastic voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Your ass gets saved by Brooke Davis?" she jokes but I don't return her smile.

"No, you become a hassle to your best friend and a smelly hobo in the house of Brooke Davis rather than a smelly hobo out on the streets," I sense that I would have gotten my point across better if I had used a different set of words than 'smelly hobo.' "And I'm deducting one dollar from your allowance this week," I tell her.

"What? Why? I didn't become the smelly hobo," she counters, wondering what she had done wrong.

"You said ass," I inform her. It is a lame thing to punish her on, but I am still working on cleaning up her vocabulary, especially around Jamie.

I decide to clean up the quasi mess Julian and Chris had managed to make just by walking into the room last night. Boys.

"Don't you have to go to school?" I ask Sam, a lot calmer than I was thirty seconds ago.

"It's Sunday," Sam says as she looks into an empty refrigerator. Damn it. The wedding totally made me space out on food for this week.

"Isn't there Sunday school?" I ask again.

"I'm not Catholic," she states as she stares at a pantry full of nothing but condiments, a half full bag of potato chips, and a couple cans of non perishables. Damn. I was hoping there was someplace she could be so she didn't have to witness me kick both of their asses out of my house...possibly even literally. Deciding physical violence is not the answer, especially in front of my fifteen year old, I head to the kitchen.

"Well, since you have to hang around here, grab a water gun," I offer Sam a toy weapon from underneath the sink.

"Why?" Sam asks with a bewildered expression. My face sparks up with a mischievous smirk.

"We're going to wake up these lazy bums so they can get their smelly selves off my couch and out the door," I tell her as I finish loading my Super Soaker with water. I need to remember to thank Jamie for forgetting his toys at my house.

"Sweet," Sam exclaims as she waits for my count. As I mouth the word 'three,' Sam starts squirting at Chris, while I merrily aim water at Julian's face. Hopefully neighbors are not walking by right now, because all they will hear are two girls yelling for two guys to get up off their butts, and two guys yelling for two girls to stop splashing their butts.

After a good fifteen seconds of squirting water at their faces, Chris and Julian finally lift themselves off the couch and agree to leave. They ask for a glass of water first and the next thing I know, they manage to find Jamie's other water guns.

"Oh no you don't! You guys are so dead!" I warn them as I give Sam the ok to continue to aim and fire good old H20. Pretty soon, the boys are aiming as well and I feel like I'm back in the seventh grade. I sure as hell was _not_ expecting this. I don't know if this water fight is a symbol of us releasing our stresses and emotions, or if it's just plain old fashioned fun. But what the hell, I am enjoying this way too much to care what it is.

And from the looks of things, everyone else is, too. Even Julian is laughing like there's no tomorrow. It's hard to believe that just yesterday he gave a heartfelt "Congrats and goodbye" to Peyton. I wasn't joking when I called him noble last night.

"Ahhh!" I release a squeal as I feel a stream of water hit my back. This is what I get for pausing to think behind the counter. Unfortunately, my little, girly yelp becomes even more reason for Julian to soak the heck out of me.

After some minutes of team work and smarts, the girls end up on top, literally. Sam and I have managed to get a soaked Chris and Julian under ten or so couch cushions and pillows, with us sitting on top with four water guns. How us two tiny girls managed to win a fight against guys, both over six feet tall, is beyond me. But I have a feeling they let us win. After all, it is our house they are in, and they owe us big time for letting them sleep over.

"Ok. Truce, truce," Julian yells out as Chris waves a clean white tissue in the air.

"You guys have no more fight left in you?" I ask before releasing them from our clutches.

"Yes, we promise," Chris mumbles from beneath a cushion. Satisfied with their answer, Sam and I get up and liberate our prisoners. And the good prisoners that they are, they kindly help Sam and I tidy up and put the living room back in tip top shape within twenty minutes. Hmmm, I seem to have underestimated their characters.

"Ok, now that we've had our morning fun, you guys can leave," I tell them as I motion my hands towards the door. "Oh, and thank you so much for cleaning up."

"You're kicking us out?" Chris asks in disbelief, continuing to dry his hair with a towel. I'm guessing he is hoping that our water fight adventure is grounds for another free stay at Casa Brooke's. No way is that happening. I'm not ready to have boys living in the house just yet. And what kind of example will that be for Sam?

"I have work to do, you are setting bad examples for Sam, and you smell," I tell them, shrugging my shoulders.

"We're not going to bother you, we can teach Sam the consequences of _Keller's _actions, and if you so kindly let us, we can shower," Julian retorts as I glare at him and his quick and witty response. Ooo this guy is good. No wonder he is still able to stick around here for so long. He has a knack for words _and_ charm.

"Do you have that coconut shampoo you used in high school?" Chris asks. I can't believe he remembers what kind of shampoo I had as a teenager. But I ignore his question and instead counter Julian's comment.

"You will, you can't, and no way are you setting foot in my sanctuary of a shower," I tell them with a polite, yet sarcastic smile. The staring contest between Julian and I lasts a few more seconds while Chris and Sam watch intently. Chris whispers something in Julian's ear and he relinquishes.

"Then can we at least have a loan for cab fare?" Julian asks with puppy dog eyes.

"And breakfast," I hear Chris whisper this time.

"And breakfast," Julian repeats as I roll my eyes. "Aren't you supposed to figuratively kiss my ass?" Julian then asks with a devilish grin. Well if it isn't my words to come back and bite _me_ in the ass, figuratively of course. I mumble random nonsense to myself as I fetch my wallet. They seriously want me to pay them to leave? Ugh. I wonder if this is how guys feel when they can't get rid of that one night stand.

"I believe this counts as using my words against me, _friend_," I hand Julian two twenties. If that isn't enough for them, they can just starve for all I care. I have way too much work to do with my new line and with the movie costumes.

"Hey, Sammi, you wanna come?" Chris asks Samantha before the male best friends walk out the door.

"Hell yeah," Sam exclaims as she grabs her jacket from the closet.

"What? No way. She's only fifteen; and you are two overly sized twenty-somethings, with the maturity of two twelve year olds," I immediately react. There is a reason I issued the two guys out of the house. One is because the boys need a shower; two is because I have too much work to do; and the third, most important reason, is I still need to give Sam a proper explanation on…well everything that went down the past few hours. "And besides that, you, young lady, are soaked," I point out her wet hair and semi wet sweatshirt.

"But we have no food," Sam points out. _Crap_. I look around the kitchen as I mentally attempt to concoct some sort of meal out of the few scraps of food we do have. And even if I order delivery right now, it will still take a good forty five minutes to get here. And I am getting sick of delivery.

"The kid's hungry, Brooke. You're not going to let her starve, are you? What kind of mother are you?" Julian taunts me. I look back at Samantha, whose eyes are pleading me for food. And I have a feeling she finds it extremely cool to be able to eat breakfast with the paparazzi's favorite rock star. Plus, for some reason, she adores Julian.

"Fine," I surrender, "We will go change and you two will not move." I rush upstairs to change while Sam does the same in her bedroom.

"I'm driving," I proclaim as I skip down the stairs and pull my hair back into a miniature ponytail. As I make my way towards the door and past Julian and Chris, I manage to grab my money out of Julian's hand.

"Hey!" he yells in complaint.

"Uh uh, mister. I have given too much to you two already and there is no way I am paying you to eat breakfast with us," I exclaim as I lead my new mini entourage out the door.

These two really owe me now. They are so lucky I don't hate them. Producer Boy Julian had to show me his do gooder best friend side. And Chris, his "You're family too, you know," rings in my mind and makes me think twice about him…again. These two are sooo lucky.

"Shotgun!" Samantha calls out as she runs towards the passenger door of my car.

"No way; I am not sharing the back seat with Keller again," Julian complains as he catches up next to me. He nudges me and looks for support, "Brooke, come on. I'm your boss, you're her boss. Have the kid sit in the back, just this one time." But I merely shrug it off with a smile and let Sam sit up front with me.

"Come on Baker, we can share the cup holder for an arm rest again," Chris teases his best friend.

"Can we go somewhere that serves waffles?" Sam asks as we drive off. Man, this little excursion is definitely not on the week's agenda, or on any agenda for that matter.

If someone would have told me two days ago that I would be spending an entire morning with Chris Keller and Julian Baker, I would have laughed it off and told the person to see a shrink and be certified insane.

"Can we stop by the hotel first? Chris Keller doesn't like walking the Walk of Shame," Chris requests as he gets up to examine his reflection in the rearview mirror.

"Julian Baker doesn't like to, either," Julian chimes in as he shoves Chris back into his seat, "Dude, sit further, you smell like ass."

"Why does he get to say ass?" Sam complains.

"You don't let her say ass?" Julian smirks in amusement at the type of somewhat strict parent I must have become to not allow my teenager to say 'ass.'

"Do you let her say butt?" Chris questions. "Or how about asinine? Or assessment?" He stresses the "ass" part in each word. I don't know if his inquiry is genuine or meant as a joke; either way, Sam and Julian are finding it hard to stifle in their laughter.

"Minus another dollar for you, missy, and no hotels for you two misfits," I scold my three passengers. I smile as my comment receives three groans sounding in unison. So this is what having three children sounds like. But like children, they quickly shrug it off and start making jokes about random things.

Man, it is a good thing Lucas and Peyton are out of town. Because, as unnatural and bizarre as this sounds, I think I might actually enjoy this Keller/ Baker hanging out time. Luke no doubt will go on a long rant to dissuade me from initiating a friendship. Haley would be amused, yet cautious. Nathan would just say 'Oh God, Brooke, not you too,' and Peyton would be perplexed as to what to feel.

"So, I guess this is going to be more than just a one night stand, huh Davis?" Julian jokes as he catches my glaring eye in the rearview mirror.

"I wouldn't know, Baker" I shrug, "I'm not the one who slept with Chris Keller last night." I watch as Julian's face shifts from a scowl and pushes Chris' head off his shoulder. Sam's voice echoes with laughter and Chris…well, he's acting like Chris Keller and annoying Julian in the process. Oh damn Brooke, what have you gotten yourself into?

_**

* * *

Julian's POV**__; a diner_

"Did you guys know what you were getting yourselves into?" Keller asks Brooke after she tells the entire story about what happened in Honeygrove five years ago – bailing Mouth out of jail, getting stranded on the road and being rescued by Chris, raiding vintage stores, scaring the local residents, walking in on Lucas and Peyton, and Chris' mini breakdown on his tour bus. Lucas managed to cut most of the non Peyton stuff out of the book. During the past five minutes, Sam and I hung onto every word that sputtered out of Brooke's animated mouth about the Honeygrove craziness. The girl really knows how to tell a story.

"Of course we knew," Brooke answers Chris, "What can I say; we were antsy teenagers who got bored when nothing dramatic and crazy happened to us for more than a week." Judging from what I've seen the past few weeks, it seems to me that they still get bored without all the drama. But then again, I wouldn't have a movie without all of their drama.

"I can't believe Mrs. Scott did that stuff back in high school," Sam comments, "I can't believe _you_ did that stuff, Brooke."

"And you don't let her say ass," Chris chides Brooke with a sullen face. His face is soon met with a piece of bacon flicked by Brooke.

This morning's breakfast is a huge departure from my normal routine of running to the office, and picking up a cup of OJ and plain bagel on the way. I haven't had a proper sit down breakfast, complete with conversation, in months. With people other than those affiliated in the film industry, well that would be years.

And then waking up this morning – well that was a surprise and probably the most fun I've had in a very long while. Since I've arrived in Tree Hill, I have been counting down the days till I would get to leave. I didn't think there was anything for me in the small sleepy town except for a movie deal and the occasional amusing encounters with Peyton. I didn't plan on being nice to anybody let alone becoming their friend. Then Sam introduced herself to me and convinced Brooke to become my costume designer.

It isn't that we are friends – because Brooke had made it perfectly clear that we aren't. As for Sam, well, the kid is unfortunately growing on me. And now, here we sit. My best friend, Sam, Brooke Davis, and I, are eating breakfast together. Unexpected? Yes. Random? Yes. Uncharacteristic? Yes. Weird…surprisingly, no.

"You've been unusually mute, Baker," Brooke disrupts my thoughts.

"Yeah, producer guy, what's up?" Sam backs up Brooke's observation. Chris is too occupied with the rest of his food to be a best friend and defend me.

"Just doing a little thinking," I respond. "And don't worry, it's not about trying to destroy Lucas' movie," I add, mocking her constant accusations from two weeks prior. If there is one thing I am sure of about this town, nobody wants me to ruin Luke's movie. "His life…well that's a different story," I joke. I certainly wouldn't mind getting back at him for sucker punching me at my hotel.

"As long as you're not concocting some evil plot to stay at my place for free again, think whatever you want," Brooke tells me, "I really hope you two know that last night was a fluke – a one time thing that will _never_ happen again." The way her eyes spark when she says never is a little scary. I guess she really means it.

I grin and raise my brows, "I don't know about that, Davis. You seem to enjoy our company, hence this hour long, conversation filled, breakfast. And I doubt this is all to kiss a little producer ass. You know, I'm still up for the literally part," She rolls her eyes when I wink back at her.

"This was just about hunger. And if I was kissing a little a - ….if I was trying to please anybody, it's Sam," Brooke says unconvincingly. She is having fun; and just like me, she isn't going to admit it.

"So, who gets the check?" the waitress interrupts our conversation as she looks between me and Chris.

I merely point to the short haired brunette sitting next to me, "That would be, the strict yet pleasing mom right here."

I can feel Brooke glare at me before she takes the check with a faux smile aimed at the waitress. As Brooke tries to figure out tax and tip, Chris and Sam begin talking more about the Brooke Davis of yore, while I zone everything out. The end of breakfast means that it is time to figure out how to get around without a car. One thing is for sure, Chris is not going anywhere with me this time.

"You guys all set?" the waitress comes back after ten minutes and is beaming uncontrollably. She obviously has figured out who Chris is, especially since Chris is giving her the "What's up, hottie," stare.

Brooke hands her the check and payment and before the waitress lets us be on our way, she decides to fill us in on whom we are. "Not to sound like a crazy person, but you're Chris Keller, right? And Brooke Davis, the designer, and you're the producer – I'm sorry I don't remember – wait – Baker, right? Anyways, could I get your autographs?"

Ok, I know I said breakfast wasn't weird before…but, now this is weird. Nobody usually recognizes the producer. And Brooke, well, she had been staying under the radar here in Tree Hill for quite some time. However the waitress figured out who we are, I guess it's too late for any of it to matter now. The three of us decide to be polite and agree to sign a couple napkins for her while her stomach is probably doing flip flops at the presence of so many "celebrities."

"Can I just say, that you guys are such a cute family," she blurts out. The four of us freeze instantaneously, our eyes bulging out of our sockets; but, she doesn't notice. "I mean, there were rumors that you two were together, but to have a kid, too! And Chris coming out to support the movie, well…" she continues to ramble, but I tune her out. She lost me at 'family' and then she really lost me at 'together.' Since when are there rumors that Brooke Davis and I are – holy shit. Usually I keep up on all the tabloid drama to make sure that my movies wouldn't suffer under bad publicity – but when the hell did this happen?

"No, no, no, no. No – we are not – god, no – we are not – eww no– we are not even friends, let alone a couple, and definitely _not_ a family," Brooke voices, echoing all four of our thoughts. "Well, she's my family, but those two – god, no."

Whoa, the energy and yelling she uses just to convey one simple statement – it is like she is protesting against something. The rumor is bizarre, but it doesn't require that much negativity, even if we don't necessarily like each other that much. Although, this morning seems to have gone against our "business and nothing else" contract.

"I think she got the point, Brooke," Sam whispers. The four of us continue to stare at the waitress, who has gotten more nervous since Brooke's first utterance of a 'no.' She apologizes and makes a beeline for the kitchen. Poor girl; got chewed out by Brooke Davis.

"Did you have to use eight no's?" I ask Brooke as we exit the diner and heads towards the small parking lot. She looks at me with confusion as I reiterate word for word what she told the waitress, stressing every 'no' that she said. "You could have left it simple and said, 'No. You must be mistaken,' and left it at that. I mean, I'd like to think I'm not that horrible."

"Aww, are you hurt by the number of negatives I used to point out how much we are not a couple?" her voice is mocking, like she's talking to a five year old.

"Not as much that I'm hurt that waitress girl thought I would choose you for a girlfriend," I retort back. She scoffs and punches me in the forearm. "I'm sorry; did I hurt you?" I grin mischievously.

"No more 'figuratively' for you, and definitely no 'literally,'" Brooke snaps back. Oh man, my stay here cannot get any crazier. Four more months to go…four more months of Tree Hill craziness and Brooke Davis craziness. Can I take all that?

Yeah, this is definitely not a typical Julian Baker morning. Only in Tree Hill would I spend the day with a foster kid, her mother, and Chris, having water fights and diner breakfasts. And then top it off with autographs and a confused waitress claiming I had a thing for the fashionable foster mom. What the hell did I get myself into?

**

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A/N:** What did they get themselves into? hmmm lol. Anyways, I hope you guys had a few laughs and enjoyed this chapter. Review and let me know your thoughts so I know I'm staying on track with quality and stuff like that. Or even if its just to tell me you want more Keller or to have Haley and Nathan pop up (which they will).

And to everyone that lives in the States, I hope you have an awesome Thanksgiving weekend. I know I'm excited for all the turkey and cranberry sauce. So, since it is Thanksgiving, there probably won't be another update till Sunday. If I'm really motivated, maybe Saturday. :) At least it's not Jan 5 - man I wish we didn't have to wait so long till the next episode - I need more Brulian and Naley on my television. :) Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


	5. I'm My Own Nightmare Savior

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

**by**: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**A/N: **First off, I feel like how Sienna did in the second chapter - plane delays are tiresome and annoying. And second...

**Thank you** Trish, princetongirl, , flipflopgal, Cheerybroody15, CheeryBroody83, PeterClaire, cutiekesi, JJ, CoffeeWithCinnamon, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, mcdreamyslover, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, MissAlesig, ParadiseLost23, gigglingismylife, toddntan, Iz-Belle91, smc-27 , p0line for all your amazing reviews!! Seriously guys, I love all your insight and opinions because it helps me know how you think the story is going. I'm glad you all loved Brooke/Julian/Sam/Chris. I really wish Tyler could come back so that we could see something like that on screen.

cRiMsOnGoDdesS, toddntan, and p0line - omg it's like you guys are reading my mind and fishing out my ideas. lol - no spoilers yet, but maybe after this chapter i'll throw out some.

CoffeeWithCinnamon - how you feel about the show - that's mostly, exactly how i feel - especially about the attack thing, but more on that later. as for Brulian, i can't get enough of them. and since i don't want brooke to have sloppy seconds either, i'm working on that...not necessarily undoing the Pulian relationship, but you'll see...it'll take a while to get there since i want to approach everything semi slowly. i don't want to jump into anything to quickly or else it might not seem real or plausible. But I'm glad you're still continuing to read my story :)

And everyone else...I hope you had a nice weekend and I really hope you enjoy this chapter. There's some laughs and there are some serious moments. But all in all, I think you'll like it...at least, I hope you do. :)

Oh, and I will need to say that there's a short portion in the story...the idea I took from creator Mark himself - but I changed it up. You'll know what part I'm talking about.

**

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Chapter 5: I'm My Own Nightmare Savior**

* * *

- - - - - Lucas' tired eyes were met with bright sun beams peeking through the window blinds. _Was it morning already? _He lay still, not wanting to get up and greet the morning. It seemed as if his girl had other plans as he felt her lips press into the back of his neck.

"Morning, Luke," she whispered into his ear. He smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Morning to you, too, Linds," Lucas greeted his favorite editor with a - - - - -

- - - - - A half naked Peyton awoke with a start. _Why the hell was she dreaming about Lucas and Lindsay? Talk about an effin nightmare._ She ran her delicate hands through her golden locks as she turned to find her favorite guy sleeping soundly next to her. Thank goodness she didn't wake him; she sure as hell didn't want to explain this dream to him.

"Mmmm. What are you doing awake, baby?" he asked as he pulled her closely into him. She smiled as she felt him nuzzle his scruffy chin into her neck.

"It's nothing, Julian. Go back to sleep," Peyton whispered as she kissed - - - - -

- - - - - A half naked Lucas awoke with a start. _Shit. He did not just dream about Julian and Peyton. What the hell was wrong with his subconscious?_ He attempted to shake that disturbing image out of his head. Damn; if that didn't wake him up, he didn't know what else would.

"Bad dream?" a familiar voice echoed from the other side of his bed. The two shirtless figures turned to face each other. Julian and Lucas' eyes bulged out of their sockets. _Holy shit._

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" both yelled so loud, their screams threatened to wake the rest of the block.

- - - - - "Ahhh!" a half naked Brooke screamed awake. _"Oh. My. God. What the fuck was that?" _she thought as she ran her perfectly manicured fingertips through her shiny auburn locks. But her hand froze by her neck. She felt two bodies lying beside her – she was too afraid to look at who it was. If it was both Lucas and Julian, she was going to have a heart attack – no, first she was going to kick their asses and then have a heart attack.

"Jeez, Brooke, what the hell?" Haley's voice called out from her left. Brooke and Haley looked inquisitively at each other. Both noticed that they were both merely wearing black lacey bras and their old cheer skirts.

"Brooke, next time scream into Haley's ear, not mine," Peyton groaned as she sat up on her side of the bed. The three former cheerleaders' eyebrows all kinked up at the same time.

"Ok, what the hell are you two doing in my bed?" Brooke asked with a pointed finger, "Wait a minute – this isn't my bed."

"What the – whose dream is - " Haley stopped mid sentence as all three girls noticed a half naked, devilishly smiling Chris Keller leaning against the door frame.

"KELLER!!" all three girls screamed at once as they simultaneously flung pillows in his direction - - - - -

* * *

_**Julian's POV**; his hotel_

"Keller!" I scream for a third time. Damn guy has a huge ass smirk on his face but is still not getting up. I shudder to think what kind of kinky ass dream can make him this happy and this unresponsive to constant screaming. I had enough; I grab a pillow and chuck it at him. I watch as he doesn't flinch. Are you kidding me? Hmmm, maybe I should have chucked my shoe. I grab a bigger pillow and toss it harder, straight for his face.

"Ow. Dude, I was having the best dream," Chris moans from underneath the pillow.

"I'm sure you were," I answer him as I slip on my black converses, "Listen, Sam wants to hang out later." As I tie my laces, from the corner of my eye I notice Chris look at me, then to the clock, then back at me.

"She doesn't get out of school for three hours; what the hell did you wake me up for?" Chris groans as he collapses back onto the couch. I shake my head, only rock stars fail to get up before noon. And Chris is the only _sober_ rock star who fails to get up before noon. Even though I'm not a morning person, I never understood how Chris can sleep for ten hours straight.

"Sienna called. She wants to talk to you," I tell him as I gather Lucas' screenplay and some other miscellaneous papers into my messenger bag. Even though production has supposedly stopped, it doesn't mean that I have to stop working.

"I don't want to talk to her," Chris whines as he forces himself up and heads towards the bathroom. I roll my eyes at his immaturity.

It had been nearly eight months since Sienna decided to break up their 20 month relationship, and Chris still wasn't budging on his "I'll never talk to her again" pouting. The two didn't move in together or get engaged, but it was still a serious relationship. Considering his past history and strings of ONS's, this relationship with Sienna was a first for Chris; hence his acting out. I understand where Chris was coming from, but it is time he grew up about it.

True, exes are sometimes a bad thing – but a twenty six year old shouldn't act like a six year old when it came to talking to an ex. Besides, all Sienna wants to do is see if a friendship with Chris is possible, especially since they share two close, mutual friends. Although…it's not like a certain curly blonde has been talking much to Sienna or Chris in the past few months.

"_You don't think that Peyt thinks that I'm a bitch, do you?"_ Sienna's concern from seven months ago echoes in my mind. _"Well, you're still friends with the asshole who walked out on her…you tell me,"_ I responded. Yeah, I was a bit bitter back then.

"I don't care. You're talking to her," I raise my voice so Chris can hear me from the bathroom. Knowing Sienna, she will probably send him a thousand text messages just to annoy the shit out of him, and then he'd finally call her to get her to stop.

"Where are you going?" Chris asks me as he exits the bathroom. If I was a girl, my knees would probably shake at the sight of his toned, body. But as a guy, I immediately grimaced and threw some random clothes towards him. Getting the hint, he slips on some jeans.

"I have a meeting," I inform Chris as I grab my jacket. "And then, me, you, Sam, at Java – the new coffee place - at 2:30. Be there," I basically command him. Depending on the day, you can't ask Chris to do something; you have to give him an order, or else he'll think he can do whatever the hell he pleases. I fish around my pockets and throw him a shiny new set of keys to a silver Lexus.

"Keys?" he jingles them in front of his face as if it is a new toy.

"You lose those and you pay the studio 10,500," I tell him as I take one final look in the mirror before heading out.

"10.5 K to replace a set of keys?" Chris asks in disbelief.

"Five for the keys. Ten thousand to bail me out of jail after I physically assault you for acting stupid, aka I'll kill you if you lose those," I threaten him; there is no way he is going to be stupid and lose another set of car keys.

"That's reasonable," he mumbles as he throws the keys onto the coffee table.

"I thought so," I agree as I check my pockets one last time, making sure I have my wallet, hotel key, and new set of car keys to my Mercedes. No way am I letting Chris behind that wheel again.

"And dude, call Sienna," I yell before I close the door behind me. All I want for my friends is what is best for them. Even though Peyton and I can't be friends; I hope Sienna and Chris can be.

And it isn't just because I hate being pulled in two different directions.

If Sienna were any other girl, I would pull a Chris and not talk to her either - the whole bros over hoes thing. But Sienna isn't just any other girl – she is one of my oldest friends. Sort of like how Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis are friends – close friends, not necessarily the go to best friend type, but close friends nonetheless.

Two people who bonded over similar pasts, similar fears, similar mistakes, and similar needs - needs for a kindred spirit, another person to understand their fucked up brain.

Boy is my brain effed up. It had to be if I am actually looking forward to dropping by Brooke's today.

And my brain really has to be fucked up if I had a dream about her.

And not one of those sexual fantasy type dreams…a "What would it be like to be the recipient of her affections?" dream. I blame it on yesterday's breakfast and that damn waitress who put the damn idea of us being together in my head.

But, then my dream last night turned into a nightmare when Lucas suddenly popped up into it and gave a condescending speech about how he had Brooke first. But Lucas is an idiot. Sure he had Brooke; but, from my point of view, he never really had her. If he did…if he was "in love" with her…God, he had so many opportunities to prove it and he never did. Ok, so there were two speeches – but those were words. Brooke didn't need words, she needed actions. Even though I wasn't there, the book alone inadvertently proved how much of an ass he was to Brooke.

But, Lucas isn't here now. For the next week and a half, it's going to be me, Brooke, and Sam. I still don't know what I want to happen with all of that. Especially since this nice guy – become friends with a teenager and then maybe her mother - thing is new to me. Thank goodness I have Sam for a buffer. I guess Brooke is _really_ thankful she has Sam for a buffer.

However the next couple weeks go – it can't be worse than my stupid nightmare.

_**

* * *

Brooke's POV**__; the boutique_

The beats of classic 80s music combining with the resonance of my pencils brushing against my sketchpad always bring me to a state of serene content. I haven't felt this confidant or "cheery" about my work and designs since sophomore year of college, before Victoria decided to convert my labor of love into an over commercialized, corporate brand. I don't know what to attribute my sudden impulse of creativity to, but I like it. Churning out design after design, I suddenly stop. I need to slow down and take a breather before my creativity bulb burns out from an accidental overload.

"Hello? I'd like a one of a kind Davis original to go, please," I hear a woman request from the door of my boutique. My churning and burning went on pause at the sight of my favorite married couple walking through the door – Nathan and Haley Scott.

Hmmm…I guess Peyton and Lucas need to be somewhere on my married couple list now. I'll put them after Posh and Becks for now…it's only been a day and they haven't proven anything yet. But enough about other couples…

"Well, if it isn't my favorite lunch combo!" I yell out with an excited grin from behind my sketching station. "Haven't you two gotten sick of me already?" I ask as I greet them both with tight, sincere hugs.

For the past couple weeks, lunch had become the highlight of my day. In an effort to help out with the wedding, Haley and Nathan would stop by the boutique during their lunch break with all intent on working on wedding projects. But, the goofy friends that we are, something always distracted us from the Leyton wedding "To Do" list. I couldn't believe that in our six years of friendship, I hadn't hung out with both Haley and Nathan as often as I did these past few weeks.

Now that the nuptials were over, I questioned whether or not the lovely Naley would still stop by. Especially since Nathan was going professional, and Haley was going to start recording again. But lo and behold, my question has been answered.

"Not as sick as we would be eating the cafeteria food," Nathan quips as Haley rolls her eyes at the somewhat clichéd and lame joke. Aww Nathan, you sure have gotten cheesy since Jamie has been stealing all your good jokes.

"So, girly, how has the designing been going?" Haley asks as she eyes the plethora of sketches taped to the walls and spread haphazardly on my desk. "Actually, I take that back," she voices as she picks up my latest concoction, "These are amazing, Brooke."

"Thank you, teacher mom. I'm pretty surprised by them, myself," I reply. "But we can talk about my brilliant designs later; tell me you brought something meaty."

The three of us take a seat on our usual spot on my hardwood floors and chow down on sandwiches from our new favorite café. Sometimes I wish I could convert my boutique back into what it once was, but then I remember how much I hated the food industry back in high school. Just thinking of that hideous crab costume still gives me the heebie jeebies. As I take another whopping bite into my chicken Florentine sandwich, my eyes notice two more pairs staring at me with roguish sparks.

"Ok," I gulped down my food, "Why are you two staring at me with loopy ass grins? I don't have sauce on my face, do I?" I ask as my fingertips feel around my face for anything that shouldn't be there.

They're eyes are bursting with curiosity about something; I just don't know what. Haley looks toward Nathan, as if to telepathically tell him that he should do the explaining. Even though I couldn't hear their thoughts, I could read their faces. And something was amusing them.

"We were just wondering," Nathan pauses, looks me square in the eye, and a playful tone exudes from his voice, "how your little family outing went yesterday." I hear Haley whisper Nathan's name, as if to scold him on his use of words. Family outing? What the hell were they – oh crap.

"Ugh, you saw that?" I whine as I fall flat on my back and close my eyes in embarrassment. I can't believe I have witnesses to that craziness of a morning, laughing witnesses at that. Then again, they were probably laughing at the fact that I was lying down on the floor of my boutique with a half eaten sandwich still in my hand.

"Jamie pointed you out on their father-son morning jog," Haley revealed as she and Nathan pulled me up into a proper sitting position. "By the way, thank you for letting him think that Chris Keller is awesome," her sarcasm is unfaltering.

I merely give her a "What are you talking about?" kinked eyebrow.

"Aunt Brooke and Sam are awesome, so Chris and Julian must be pretty cool, too," she quotes her adorable five year old son.

"I'll be sure to correct him the next time I see him," I mumble with another bite of my sandwich. Only Jamie would be able to see the coolness factor in Chris Keller and Julian Baker. "And why would you call it a family outing? It was barely an outing," I comment.

"You know," Nathan gulps down his food, "You're the mom, Sam's the kid, Julian's…actually…I don't know where Julian would fit in." I'm guessing Nathan was going to say dad or step dad, but decided he didn't want to receive a punch from my knuckles. Good choice.

"I know where Chris would fit in," I add to the metaphor, "the golden retriever, Old Keller." The three of us share a chuckle at the whole thing, but Haley, being Haley, decides to turn the conversation serious.

"So, all joking aside, does this mean you trust Julian now?" Haley asks me, "Because, last I recall, you originally didn't want to do this movie because you didn't trust him. And now it looks like you're discussing costumes over pancakes and coffee,"

"It was more like waffles and OJ," Nathan corrects Haley. The both of us just stare at Nathan. "What?" he asks innocently as we simultaneously shake our heads.

"The trusting issue is still on the fence," I answer, "Sam thinks it would be really cool if I did this. She pointed out that if I didn't want to wear a lame knockoff when I was in high school, I sure as hell shouldn't let some lame knockoff be the designer for movie-Brooke in movie high school," I reason. "Besides, Julian is only one of my bosses."

"So you're doing the movie for Lucas?" Haley asks me with dead seriousness in her eyes. I could see where she would get that idea. And even though she's usually right, this time, I'm pretty sure she's wrong.

"I don't do anything for Lucas anymore. I'm doing this for Sam and for myself," I reply, "I want to make movie-me the hottest and most fashionable movie cheerleader circa 2005. Plus, I know it's a long shot with all the epic movies coming out later, but how cool would it be if I won a shiny, little, gold male statue, minus genitalia, just to dress movie-us?" I squealed, hoping Nathan and Haley would share at least one crumb of my enthusiasm. But I guess they didn't buy my excitement; I might have over done it a bit with the mention of genitalia.

"Are you sure it's not for Lucas?" Nathan asks me after he and Haley share a 'Is she really ok?' look. Wow, I'm getting pretty good at reading their couple-hood expressions. And they're getting pretty good at spotting my fake cheerleader smile.

"Yes. Why do you keep asking that?" I respond. Man, when is anybody going to get that Lucas is NOT the center of my life; he hasn't been for five freaking years.

"Because we never talked about how you feel about Lucas and Peyton getting married," Haley answered my question. Oh_. That's_ what they're talking about.

"Yeah we did," I try to evade the topic. It's over with; didn't my failure to object during the ceremony prove that I was _not_ hurt by their matrimonial union?

"No; you always changed the topic or made us make more wedding party favors," Nathan pointed out and unconsciously rubbed his hands. Yeah, maybe I did go overboard with all the ribbon tying and decoupage-ing.

"It's over. They're married. There's nothing to talk about," I insist as I fiddle around with my fries. I scrolled a tiny smiley face in my pile of ketchup as Nathan and Haley sighed at my insensitive response.

"Brooke," Haley starts, but I quickly interrupt her.

"There's nothing to talk about, Haley. I'm happy that they're happy. That's all that matters," I persisted. How could I prove to them that I was alright – or at least semi alright? But I guess I can't; they know me too well to know that something is still eating away at me inside.

"No," Nathan counters with a firm voice, "What matters is that you're happy for the right reasons." Wow, when did Nathan get all sensitive and smart?

"It's ok to feel upset about it, Brooke," Haley attempts to sooth me.

"Can we drop it? You guys are starting to sound like Oprah and Dr. Phil," I try to joke my way out of it. But their faces didn't so much as flinch. I sigh, realizing I have no other choice than to open up. And if I am going to open up to anybody, it would be them. I don't want to talk about this with Peyton or Lucas …there was a time when I wanted to, but things have changed.

"The movie _is_ a good opportunity and it keeps my mind off of certain things…I guess one of those things are Lucas and Peyton. Seeing Lucas and Peyton together – it just reminds me of something I can't have…at least, not yet. Every time I think I'm ready to get close to a guy – like Owen – I just close myself off and push away," I reveal with a quiet voice. Their silence tells me that they're analyzing my explanation.

"Is this…" Haley starts out cautiously. "Is this about the attack?" she asks me in a concerned tone. I don't look up to face them. The corners of my eyes catch Nathan shifting his position so that he is now on my right side and Haley on my left.

"Partly," I answer timidly. Both Haley and Nathan had heard about my attack from Peyton, with my permission of course. We had never really discussed it…till now. "Yeah, the attack messed me up physically and emotionally. Mostly, it's harder for me to trust guys…trust that they won't hurt me…"

"_The question is, Brooke. Why are you so insistent on going through life alone?"_ my therapist's voice rings again in my ears. I've thought a lot about this question since then. And even though I have Sam now, the question still applies.

"But I think the closing up issues started out before the attack." I divulge before they get a chance to ask me another question. It was true; for some reason I hadn't been close to a guy since Chase – and even that didn't last longer than several months.

"The attack sort of worsened the closing up/trusting thing. But, I _am_ starting to get back to at least how I was before it happened. I'm getting better. It's just taking longer than I anticipated," my raspy voice is filled with resolve I didn't know I had. I was getting my courage back – partly because of Sam and partly because of Naley.

God this is weird. I don't remember the last time I opened up like this to Nathan. Haley, yes…Nathan – even though we were good friends, he isn't my reveal everything and anything to friend. But maybe, this will help me get better faster.

"Brooke, you know you have us. No matter what," Haley wraps her arm around my shoulders in her compassionate, best friend way_. I know, buddy_.

"I know," I answer with a meek smile as I lean my head on her shoulder. I feel Nathan grab and squeeze my hand. He was here for me too. And my heart swells as my eyes release a few tears I didn't know they were holding. After a few minutes of silence, I wipe my eyes and ask the couple to say something because the silence is irking me.

"You said Lucas and Peyton remind you of love you can't have. Do you feel that way around us?" Nathan asks. Crap, they must think they hurt me everyday.

"No," I respond honestly; if anything, it's completely the opposite – Naley gives me hope.

"Why?" Nathan's question takes me aback. It was a valid question that I never thought about until now.

"I don't know," I reply with a strained brow. I was trying to figure it out, but I honestly didn't know.

"Maybe it's because you're always saving _them_," Haley voices her opinion. Leave it to the English teacher to be able to analyze and figure it all out. But, I have no idea what she is talking about. How the hell have I saved them? If anything, wasn't Lucas doing all the saving?

"What?" I ask her as Nathan's eyes ask the same thing.

"When Peyton's mom died, you were there. Lucas losing Keith, Peyton and Ellie, Lucas' heart attack…Psycho Derek – _you_ saved Peyton. And then when Peyton didn't say yes the first time, _you_ were there for Luke," Haley counts on her fingers a number of examples of some of the worst times in Lucas and Peyton's lives. There was a whole lot of other stuff she left out, but those were the major ones.

"So?" I ask. Ok, so I _saved_ them – I thought it was just helping them. And even then, what did that have to do with feeling closed off or their marriage reminding me of something I can't have yet?

"Brooke. You were always saving them because you were waiting for _them_ to save _you_," Haley replies with a sort of 'Don't you see?' revelation type tone in her voice. "And when the time came for you to be saved, you didn't let them because you didn't want to ruin their happiness," she reminds me of my initial reasoning for why I felt I couldn't tell anybody about my attack.

"I still don't see what you're getting at," I say.

"They remind you of love you _think _you can't have because…You're still waiting to be saved," Haley reveals. Nathan and I are completely silent now. _Whoa_. What was I paying my therapist for when I had Haley all along? My heart aches at the revelation – Do I still want to be saved? I know I voiced that to Lucas back in junior year of high school…Have I still wanted that all these years?

"And Peyton called me a martyr," Nathan mumbles under his breath.

"What you have to figure out is if you still want them to save you…or if you're willing to let somebody else have that job. And then maybe you'll finally find love," Haley finishes, or at least I think she's done with her amazing best friend analyzing. Before I get a chance to contemplate on what she just told me, I hear the door open behind us.

"Davis, I'm baaack," someone chimes from the entrance.

"Julian?" I recognize the voice as the three of us immediately stand to face him. I'm guessing my makeup is smeared and wiped clean from my face from the crying because Julian's amused expression turns to one of inquisitiveness.

"Talk about awkward," Julian breaks our stunned silence. "I hate to ruin heart to hearts…well, I don't really hate it; it's sometimes entertaining…but, uh, Sam called me and you weren't picking up your phone, so - "

"Is she ok?" I interrupt him, my heart beating a thousand times a minute at the thought of something being wrong.

"I don't know; I'm just playing messenger," he shrugs with indifference – typical Julian Baker behavior.

"Are you kidding me?" I yell at him as I go in search of my phone. I check under sketches, binders, in my purse – where the hell was it? And why the hell wouldn't he know if she was ok?

"No," Julian answers, "Besides, I wouldn't have relayed the message if I didn't have to come and ask you to bring your designs over to the production offices tomorrow."

"You're a gentleman aren't you?" I sarcastically comment with disdain.

"No, I'm Julian Baker," he smirks.

And to think I enjoyed breakfast yesterday.

"And you two are Haley and Nathan," he holds out his hand towards Nathan for a handshake, but neither Nathan nor Haley return the gesture. "Sorry we've never been formally introduced. Lucas didn't want me near his family," Julian quips as he slaps Nathan's forearm.

"I wonder why," Haley's sarcasm meets Julian's wit.

"You know, I asked him the same thing," Julian laughs at the so called coincidence.

I gave up my cell phone search and asked Haley to borrow hers.

"She's not in trouble. She just wants to know if she can kick it with Keller after school before he jets tomorrow morning," Julian tells me just as I hear Sam's voice telling me to leave a message.

I return Haley's cell but my glaring eyes never leave Julian's smirked up face. Of all the nerve -

"Brooke, we're gonna - " Haley starts, noticing the tension that is building up between me and Julian. Hard to believe I was opening my heart up just ten minutes ago.

"No, stay. This won't take long," I insist, with crossed arms. I couldn't let my two close friends leave on account of Julian Baker.

"You said you didn't know how she was," I snap at Julian as I inch towards him.

"I _don't_ know. She could be pissed off because of some bad grade or she could be ecstatic because a boy kissed her, but I don't know," he claims, "She just asked me to ask you if she could - "

"Hang with Keller; I got it," I finish for him. "You really know how to push people's buttons, you know that?"

"Lucas calls me a dick everyday. You can follow suit if you want." I can't believe it; he's egging me on.

"Well as long as he knows what he's gotten himself into," I snap.

"And you don't?" he wiggles his brows and his grin grows wider.

"Brooke, I think - " Haley shuts up when I hook my arm tightly into hers, signifying that she couldn't leave me alone with him or else I might be guilty of murder in two hours.

"You passed me the message; you can go now," I smile, hoping Baker would get the hint.

"Are you guys having lunch? Because I am starving," he eyes our unfinished meal like a hungry fox eyes a poor, defenseless bunny.

"That is not for you," I block his path towards the food, physically stopping him in his tracks. He is not going to ruin my highlight of the day – well one of my highlights.

"Actually, you can have the rest of mine. We have to go any - " Nathan pipes up this time.

"No! You two are staying here," I yell.

"I have class, Brooke," Haley points up to the clock – 12:52. Shit.

"Nathan doesn't – at least not till 2:30, right Nate?" I found my loophole, a chance to kick Baker out so I don't have to deal with him for the second day in a row. Well, it is more like I am afraid of having fun with him for the second day in a row.

"Uh, well - " Nathan mumbles.

"See? Table for two, that's all this is enough for," I smile as I link my arm into Nathan's this time. "So you can go now," I motion towards the door with my other arm.

"If that's the case, then I'll be happy to accompany Haley back to famous Tree Hill High since 'Nate' is staying here with you," Julian slides closer to Haley now, but not so close that Nathan would clobber him. Julian knows better than that. "And while I'm there, I can tell Sam that you said she could hang out with me and Keller later…it _is_ ok, right?"

"Oh, it is far from ok. You think I'm going to let her go god knows where with you two as adult supervision?" I scoff at the thought of it. I knew better than to leave any teen alone with Chris Keller – I had learned that lesson a long time ago.

"Ok," Haley slips in some distance between us. "How about you two wait outside while we clean all this up. Then we can _all_ go to the high school _together_," she reasons in her motherly, compromising tone.

No, no, no. What is she doing? Why am I tagging along? I have work to do. Why did she suggest Julian tag along? Doesn't she get from the whole bantering thing that I want him out? Nathan seems to be thinking the same thing because his eyes shot up at the prospect of him and Julian waiting outside by themselves.

"Us two?" Nathan points between himself and Julian.

"Yeah, you two. Go," Haley's voice is commanding as her eyes motion Nathan towards the door. Nathan sighs, I scoff, Julian chuckles, and Haley merely ignores all three of our reactions. To her, we are probably acting like the fifteen year old students from different cliques that are forced to work on a project together.

"So, uh, Baker, is it?" Nathan attempts some small talk as Haley and I watch the two tall men walk out the door.

Haley grabs a trash bag from behind the counter and we begin throwing away whatever is on the floor. Oh man, there go my fries and the other half of my sandwich. That was a good sandwich.

"What are you doing?" I ask Haley as soon as I see the door close behind the boys. Man, I wonder what they could be talking about.

"Saving you," Haley tells me before she takes one last sip of her green tea and throwing it in the bag.

"I did not need saving," I insist, grabbing the last of the trash.

"I told you we'd be here for you whenever you need it. You need it this time, Brooke," Haley insists. Ok, I had to give her points for that; she is right this time.

"Fine, but I'm taking my own car. There is no way I'm going to share a ride with him on the way back," I insist. "What do you think they're talking about?"

"Nathan can hold his own; just make sure you hold yours," Haley tells me as we gather up all our things, my sketchbook included.

"Do you think he'll punch Julian if I asked him too?" I ask Haley before we open the door. We watch as Nathan ingests whatever Julian is saying. I can't decipher Nathan's expression. Either he thinks Julian is another Chris Keller or he is falling for whatever charm is thrown at him. Oh no; does Julian like basketball?

"If Julian plays his cards wrong, you might not need to ask him," Haley shakes me out of my thoughts. Well, Haley can read her husband better than I can. So I guess…so far, Nathan is falling for the charm…I just have to wait for Julian to make one tiny misstep to have Nathan on my side.

Even though I don't hate Julian as much as I initially did a few weeks ago, I don't want to like him either. Things would get way too complicated if I start to like Producer Boy's ass. Especially when Luke and Peyton get back. Complication - that's what I am afraid is going to happen if I hang out with him long enough – that I would like him and would want to hang out with him and…be his friend.

Am I ready for all of that? Friendship with another guy? I try to convince myself that the friends I have now is enough. Peyton, Lucas, Nathan, Haley, Mouth, Milli…even Skills and Jamie – they are enough. _Sam_ is enough. So why am I starting to enjoy spending time with Julian – why am I not kicking him out or walking away from him whenever he comes near? Am I ready to open myself up to new friendships?

No. This is Peyton's ex. I'm not supposed to trust the guy. He walked out on her and left her alone without so much as any look back. No follow up phone call, no email, not one single 'I'm sorry it had to end this way' type of thing. But…ugh…I don't know the whole story – only Peyton's side.

I shake my head; this is getting way too complicated for a Monday afternoon.

What is wrong with me?

"_Why are you so insistent on going through life alone?"_

No. I have Sam. I have Nathan and Haley. They're my saviors for now...I'm my own savior. I don't need anyone else.

Stop thinking Brooke; stop thinking. Just see where all of this goes.

**

* * *

A/N:** And there it is - Chris and Sienna were together, Julian does have a past, and Brooke is finally opening up to Naley (something I wish she would do on the show).

And that's also my interpretation so far about Brooke. As for the attack stuff, it's not resolved yet. There's more Brooke has to go sort out than what she did in this chapter, but you guys will have to keep reading to find out. And later on...like a few chapters from now, I'm going to approach what happened in 6.12. So, be ready. I know I originally was going to have this as a comedy...and it still will be, sort of. But I feel like in order for everything to work out the way I would like it to, I have to approach the dramatic stuff too.

So tell me what you think about all of it . I'm going to try to give you guys a quick update like I did last week. Ciao for now! :)


	6. Let It Rock

**Where Are You Love?**

Why can't I find you?

**by**: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**A/N**: Thank you flipflopgal, PrincessOnyx, princetongirl, ParadiseLost23, smc-27, toddntan, cutiekesi, PeterClaire, brulianequalsforbiddenlove, ok, gigglingismylife, crimsongoddess01, Trish, p0line, nicolasdes, and maiqu for your amazing and insightful reviews!

I had a feeling you guys would like the dream sequence; I honestly don't know where that idea came from, but it fit the chapter so I immediately added it. And I'm glad a lot of you enjoyed the Naley-Brooke interaction.

And as for casting for Sienna...lol the actress always changes for me. But you guys can choose whoever you'd like...a little spoiler, she'll be appearing again soon. And when she does, I'll probaly have a definite choice on who to cast for the role.

Anyways, here's the next chapter. Get ready for some rockin and rollin and hope you enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 6: Let It Rock**

_A few days later; Julian_

"You can't just fire a director because he was bothering you on your honeymoon," I reprimanded into my Blackberry, scaring the passer bys in the process.

First, Chris and Sam change the time and place of our little hanging out session. Then Dixon calls me up claiming he's been fired. Locale change I can deal with. But hasty decisions about a cinematic feature…not so much.

Normally, I was pretty calm when it came to Lucas, even when he "quit" the movie at the USO concert. But this time, I was annoyed at the fact that he failed to call me before making such a rash decision. I punched the imaginary head of Lucas that was in front of me and restrained from throwing my cell across the street. Creating _Ravens_ was a 50/50 deal and this impulsive move was breaking the said deal.

"Hollywood doesn't revolve around marriage schedules, only studio ones. I put _both_ of our asses on the line to halt production for the w ------"

I cannot believe this; he's complaining. I gave him an essentially stress free week and he was complaining that Mr. A List Director was being a pain in the ass. Well, no shit. You knew he was a pain when you signed off on him. _I_ even knew he was a pain. But he's the right one for this movie; sacrifices had to be made. Even if that sacrifice was an ear that threatened to fall off because of all the random crap that spewed out of Dixon's mouth.

"No; I will not tell him to shut up. Dixon running ideas by you does not count as production, so he has a right to run his half baked mouth off. Besides, if he's bothering you that much, just turn your cell off."

"_Why? So you can make decisions without me?"_ he snaps back.

"Says the guy who fired someone behind my back," I retort with calm demeanor. "Dude, just trust me on the movie stuff and go back to enjoying your little matrimonial holiday." He doesn't want to trust me; I can sense his brows furrowing at my comment.

And I can see his best friend's eyes squinting in my direction. Within seconds, the both of us are walking side by side towards Brooke's boutique.

"Look, Luke. I gotta go; Haley's here."

"_Haley? _My_ Haley?"_

"No; Nathan's Haley. You have a Peyton, in case you've forgotten. I'll see you in eight days," I answer and hang up without giving him a chance to reply. It was fun to keep the guy guessing and on his toes. I could only imagine what he was thinking…or rather the four letter words he was uttering right now.

Besides, it was a Thursday. I hate starting off my weekends on a bad note. But good notes, like the ones Haley can muster up, those are always a treat. And talk about a treat running into the former tutor girl right now.

The past Monday was the first time I hung out with the high school sweethearts aptly nicknamed Naley. I was surprised that their past hatred for Chris Keller appeared to have faded away. Instead of intense disdain, it was mild annoyance.

I couldn't tell if they liked me or not, but I didn't care.

Brooke cared, though. Haley and Nathan stopped Brooke from flicking a spoonful of ice cream at my face when I joked about the diner waitress' 'You're such a cute family,' statement. And much to Brooke's chagrin, not only did Haley and Nathan laugh at the joke; the couple seemed somewhat impressed at the revelation of my vast knowledge of music and my enthusiasm for sports – although I'm more of a fan than a player. I would have really hooked them if I told them about my guitar skills, but I figured I'd save that tidbit for the next time I wanted to annoy Brooke.

Haley and I even had a "Burn" game going on – although I think it gave her more of a chance to make fun of me more than anything. But whatever, it was entertaining. I never had an "official" sarcasm battle with anyone before. .

"Well if it isn't, Haley James," I greeted the girl who once wore the title of Tree Hill Rock Star.

"Scott," Haley corrected as she reluctantly walked next to me.

"I'll cut you some slack since it's been a couple days since our ice cream outing with Keller and the Davis clan," I referenced Monday's notable excursion, "But the name is Julian."

"Really? I thought it was Dick," she quipped with feigned clueless-ness.

"That's a pet name from Lucas," I retort.

"So you're a dog, then," she looks up at me with a quirked eyebrow as we approach the entrance to Brooke's store. Damn, she was quick on her feet, wasn't she?

"Feisty. I'm beginning to like you," I reply, but receive no response from the petite mother. "This is the part where you say, 'You're not so bad yourself, Julian,'" I attempt to sway her just as she reaches for the glass door of C/B.

"I would, but I like large guard dogs, not miniature toy ones." she smiles back towards me before entering the complex. "And yet another 'burn point' for me, Mr. Baker," she adds to her tally. Damn, I can't believe I gave her an easy set up and I can't believe I'm losing this game of sarcastic wit.

"H Scott - 4, Baker - 2," Nathan comments behind me. When did he get here?

"And N Scott – zero," I mock. Before I can complain about my losing streak at this not so fun anymore game, hip hop beats and catchy lyrics blare into my ears as an amused shock overtakes my body.

_Oh, hot damn. This is my jam._

_Keep me partying till the am_

_Y'all don't understand_

_Make me throw my hands_

_In the ayer, ayer, ayer, ayer_

I freeze at the sight of Brooke, Chris, and who I'm guessing is Jamie, doing a choreographed, synchronized dance to Flo Rida's _In the Ayer_. (_**A/N**: The same dance from episode 6.01_)

Ok, it wasn't really synchronized…considering the fact that Chris managed to always stay at least two steps behind…two _backwards_ steps behind. Haley, Nathan, and I can't help but chuckle at the trio. Where was a cameraman when I needed one? This is better than reality TV.

Nathan asks me what Chris is doing here since he supposedly got on a plane for LA on Tuesday. I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing the answer either. I didn't even know until Brooke called me at ten in the morning and complained to me because Chris had asked her to pick him up from the airport since he knew I'd be on conference calls all day.

"Mama! Come dance with us," Jamie requests in delight when he finally notices his new audience. Sam, standing by the stereo, shuts off the music temporarily while Chris collapses on the floor.

"Alright, Usher, but I'm not sure I remember everything," Haley warns as she kicks off her heels.

"It's ok; you can't be worse than Chris," Jamie encourages his mom as he goes to help Chris up. It's ironic how nobody else but the little midget is assisting the 6'4" goliath that is Chris Keller.

"I'm not that bad," Chris immediately opposes in defense.

"Yeah, you are," Jamie counters with a sigh.

"Yeah, I know," Chris hangs his head like a defeated five year old. The munchkin and the giant return to their places next to the girls and I feel like I'm about to watch an incredibly random _Jack and the Beanstalk_ musical number, minus the beanstalk.

"Play it again, Sam!" Jamie points toward Sam and the music fills the air again.

_Hey this my jam_

_Y'all don't understand_

_I'll make you understand_

_What's pumpin in my CD player, player_

_Party all night like yayer, yayer_

_Shawty got her hands in the ayer, ayer_

_Make me want to take it dare_

Despite her initial hesitance, Haley was surprisingly on point with Brooke and Jamie with the locks, drops, sways, spins, criss crosses, and even a DJ scratch move. Too bad Chris' shenanigan dance steps made the performance more comedic than intended.

All comedy aside, I have to admit, Brooke definitely had rhythm. It was hard not to stare at her hips or the rest of her body moving perfectly to the beats of the song. I'm going to venture and say that cheerleading definitely paid off for her.

Not wanting to look like a perv, I shifted my eyes to Jamie every once in a while. I can't believe this is the kid of Nathan Scott – the recipient of most uncoordinated dancer at the Honeygrove prom, or so Brooke claimed. I guess Chris didn't show off his moves at all that night.

"Alright, you knucklehead; I think your dancing fools have had enough," Nathan notes as he scoops Jamie into his arms once the song is over. I watch as Haley runs on over to her son and gives him a high five. It takes me by surprise when his parents talk about his friend Quentin giving him "mad props" from heaven. Before I can discreetly ask Brooke about his friend from heaven, a tiny hand is held out in front of me.

"Hi. I'm James Lucas Scott. I'm five," Jamie introduces himself while still in Nathan's arms.

"Julian Baker. I'm not five," I gently shake his hand. I can't help but think that he's damn more polite and friendly than I ever was when I was his age, and probably smarter, too. Then again, my parents are not Haley and Nathan Scott.

"You liked the dance? My friend Q taught it to me."

"Loved it. You're pretty slick on the dance floor, brother," I compliment. "You gotta teach me some of those moves sometime," I request as I attempt to mimic the DJ turntable move.

"Maybe when I'm done teaching Chris," Jamie shrugs his shoulders. "He still has a lot to learn," he loudly whispers into my ear.

"No, look, Little Scott. I think I have it," Chris pipes in as he attempts a series of steps and tripping over himself in the process. Haley comments that he doesn't have it. Jamie shakes his head and jumps out of Nathan's arms to show Chris the steps one more time.

"As amusing as all of this was, what happened to meeting at the café?" I ignore Chris' antics and direct my question to Sam.

"Brooke got us sandwiches," she answered tritely as she grabbed another slice from the counter.

"Yummy sandwiches," Chris added with a rub of his belly.

"You bribing them away from me?" I ask the brunette vixen who hasn't said a word since I got here, probably saving all the vocal energy for another round of bantering argument.

"It's called adult supervision, buddy," Brooke crosses her arms with an acerbic grin.

"I think it's called being meddlesome, _buddy_," I smirk.

"I'm a concerned parent."

"You're a prying parent."

"Well you're an annoying cockroach who won't keep away from my kid," Brooke accuses me.

"It's not my fault your kid likes cockroaches," I shrug.

"Do you guys always fight?" Jamie interrupts our banter. Brooke and I exchange glances from each other to the observant five year old.

"Yes," Sam, Chris, Nathan, and Haley answer simultaneously. I winked mischievously at Brooke at which I received an eye roll.

Their quick and sudden answer doesn't surprise me. But it does spark a thought about my 'sort of like/sort of hate' relationship with Brooke Davis. I pretend to answer my plethora of text messages as I contemplate this unusual relationship I have with the fashion designer. Because, god knows, I've never stayed around this long if a girl supposedly hated me. If by the second encounter, a girl still resisted my impeccable charm, I wouldn't waste my time. And I've definitely had more than two encounters with Brooke Davis.

I knew why I acted the way I did – the cynicism, sarcasm, wit, teasing, it's _who I am_; a front to project an image and reputation...and to protect a long ago beaten up heart. Brooke, however, is known for her upbeat personality and wearing her heart on her sleeve. In Lucas' own written words, "If you pissed her off, you knew it. And if you intrigued her, you knew it…the only time she would guard her heart was for love."

Only now, the heart was closed to more than love. The more I argued or talked with her, the more I felt that she was using everything she had to guard herself. She had a couple more walls put up than bubbly cheerleader Davis did back in the day. I just didn't know why.

"I know! Let's go to our house and play video games!" Jamie interrupts everyone's thoughts and mini conversations.

"I'm not sure they have time for that, Gamer," Haley voiced.

"Are you kidding? You still owe me a rematch, Hales," Chris pointed at his former tour mate.

"Do not," Haley argued, attempting to evade the fact that she and Chris once shared a tour bus. And the sharing of said tour bus nearly wrecked her and Nathan's marriage.

"Do too," Chris countered, not getting Haley's hint to drop it. He wasn't even catching on with her eyes shooting darts at him.

"Do _not_," Haley insisted.

"When did you play video games with Chris, Mama?" Jamie questioned innocently.

"Yeah, when did you play video games with Chris, Mrs. Scott?" Sam chimed in.

"Ok!" Brooke interrupted with clasped hands, before Haley would have to answer a barrage of questions. "I think we've all had enough fun for the day."

"But, Julian just got here," Jamie protested. Does he hang out with other kids his age?

"I know, Little Man, but I'm sure Julian is very busy and - "

"No, I'm not," I interrupted Brooke as I put my phone away.

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am –" I paused when I felt a tug on my pant leg. I looked down to find Jamie standing by my side and motioning for me to come down to his level.

"You should give up; nobody ever wins against Aunt Brooke," he tells me. I laugh along with everyone else while Brooke holds out her hand to Jamie for a high five.

"Well, Jamie; I bet I can beat Brooke at her own game," I arrogantly chime.

"Risky gamble there, Baker," Brooke comments with her usual kinked eyebrow. Risky indeed.

"I bet I can beat you at wii tennis," Jamie prevents another round of me vs. Brooke.

"Do you?"

He nods his head excitedly.

"I say game on, Little J," I hold my hand out for a dealmaker shake. "But I think you should ask your parents if I can come over, first," I make sure to add. It wasn't fun to get on a parent's bad side.

"Hey, Mama. Can Big J come over and play video games? Please?" Jamie begs with puppy dog eyes. I smirk at him calling me 'Big J' as soon as I called him 'Little J.' Kid catches on quick, just like his mother and his godmother.

Speaking of, the two are glaring at me like there's no tomorrow, wondering if I have anything up my sleeve. Sam and Chris are begging to tag along as well. And Nathan, well, he's trying to cajole Jamie, persuade him that everyone might be too busy to hang out.

It takes a while for Haley and Brooke to decide what to do. After a long day of work, Haley probably doesn't want to spend the rest of the day with Chris. And Brooke has made it clear that I tick her off. But there was a little five year old displaying a toothless grin. They can't say no to Jamie – he's the token little kid. And nobody can say 'no' to the token little kid.

"Fine," Haley sighs. But with a devious grin she focuses on me, "As long as Julian pays for pizza."

My face, hands, and voice protest, but Brooke loudly clears her throat and holds Jamie up in front of me, toothless grin and all.

Damn it. _I _ can't say no to the token little kid.

* * *

_Nathan and Haley's kitchen; Haley_

"Did you and Nathan talk about Julian at all?" Brooke asks me as we watch Nathan and Julian play a round of wii tennis. Jamie beat Julian ages ago and even won five bucks from it. And now it was Nathan's turn to try and jip Julian out of his money.

"A little," I answer Brooke. Nathan and I mostly talked about Julian and Brooke's natural tendency to fight than about whether or not we liked the guy. The truth was we weren't sure what to think yet. Julian has proved himself to be an awesome producer, and a pro at pissing off Lucas and Brooke. But that was all we knew. Well, that, and now we know he needs to practice his backhand.

It would be natural or loyal for Nathan and I to jump on the Anti-Julian bandwagon with Brooke and Lucas. But after the Monday afternoon and after our son's immediately liking to the charming producer, it was only fair to give the guy a chance. Plus, he did know his music.

"I think this is just a way for Nathan to hang out with guys our age," I try to explain Nathan's sudden welcoming of Julian today. "You know, since Lucas is out of town; Skills is off somewhere with Deb; Mouth is going through a rough time with Millie, and Jamie is…well…five."

"What about Junk and Fergie?" Brooke asks me, "Or the guys from his new team?"

"Jobs out of state," I respond, "And lives out of state."

I heard Brooke huff as we continued to watch the boys, plus Sam, enjoy themselves. Even I was having fun just watching my husband act like a kid. With all the drama and responsibilities, it was nice just to act young once in a while. We _were_ only 22 slash 23.

"So, Teacher Mom, what do _you_ think about Julian?" Brooke asks me as soon as Nathan pumps his fists in the air for victory and Julian insists to change the game to something he can win at.

"You mean, do I think he's an untrustworthy piggish jerk like you do, Tigger?" I smile at my close friend. This was a classic case of playground love fever and only Brooke and Julian were blind to it.

"Yes. And careful how you answer; you don't want to be searching the Tree Hill yellow pages for friends like your husband is."

"Well, after a few days of thinking about it, I think I'm on the fence with you," I sigh.

"Hmmm…You keep me balanced; I'll keep you balanced?" Brooke asks me. I give her a questioning look, what was she talking about?

"We don't want to fall into the Dark Side like 'Anakin' Scott, here," Brooke explains and points towards Nathan. Ohh.

The quintet is playing Rockband now and Jamie had just chosen Chris and Sam as his band mates. Julian, meanwhile, puts Jamie on his shoulders so that Jamie is "taller" than Chris.

"Ok, rock out, Little J. Just don't mess up my head with that guitar," we hear Julian say.

I glance at Brooke who surprisingly doesn't have an expression of disdain on her face. Her eyes catch mine and she pretends to hate the spectacle that is in front of her.

"You have to admit, Julian is good with Jamie. And surprisingly, so is Chris," I point out as Chris fist pumps Jamie.

"Oh no; please don't tell me you're tipping off balance, Padme," Brooke uses yet another Star Wars reference. I knew I shouldn't have gotten the Star Wars series on blue ray for Nathan.

"You know, pretty soon you're 'Julian is scum' act isn't going to fool anybody," I warn Brooke.

"It is not an act," she scoffs.

"Ok; what would you like to call your constant stream of anti-Julian antics?"

"A full length public service documentary. Maybe you've heard of it. Does 'An Inconvenient Truth' ring a bell?"

I laugh at the metaphor. She's likening Julian to pollution.

"Brooke. It's been nearly two months. The guy isn't going to ruin Lucas' movie and I seriously doubt he's still hanging out here to get Peyton back," I rationalize.

"How do you know that? Did he say something? Have you talked to him?" her bombardment of questions spill quickly out of her mouth. I shake my head.

"No. It's just – if he wanted her back, he would've made a move by now. There's no way he would risk everything he's worked for, for someone _he_ walked out on over a year ago. He may be a guy, but he's not stupid."

I wish I could take back the attack for Brooke. Her heart was insecure enough; she didn't need something horrible like this to cause her heart to become even more vulnerable and scared. Maybe if she wasn't so guarded, she would have opened herself up to Owen by now. Maybe she would see the obvious chemistry between herself and Julian. Or maybe she would see that Julian never belonged to Peyton and vice versa since Lucas never returned Peyton's heart.

"What if he knows we're waiting for him to make his move so instead of making his movie, he's waiting to make his move when we're done waiting for him to make his move," Brooke tries to figure out yet another way to prove that Julian is here for Peyton.

"Assuming I followed that correctly…that's the most paranoid thing you've ever said," I tell her, and Brooke has said a lot of weird things.

"Better paranoid than oblivious," she mumbles under her breath.

"Will you just go have fun with your foster child and godson?" I push her out of the kitchen, pretending to be annoyed by her presence.

"Fine. But only because it's finally my turn to play the drums in Rockband."

"I didn't know you were a percussion kind of girl," I comment as she starts to walk away.

"Percussion, Shmercussion. I just want to hit Julian's inflated head with the drumsticks." My lips expel a chuckle as she sticks her tongue out. I call her a goof and she mimics hitting Julian's head with invisible drumsticks. At least her sense of humor is still intact in full blown Brooke Davis glory.

"You ready to be my drummer, Brooke?" Chris exclaims as Nathan pulls Jamie into his lap. I could tell Nathan was particularly excited to watch this since in the eighteen years they've known each other, he claims to never have seen Brooke Davis pick up a video game controller. Her entertainment of choice as a kid was to decorate Peyton's face with make up or make Nathan play "The dad" when she played house.

"Don't worry. She can keep up, Keller," I answer for her as I take a seat next to my family.

"It isn't just about keeping up, you know," Nathan tells me and Brooke. Personally, I thought it was cheating that Chris was going to be the one to sing when he already had a platinum record under his belt.

"What did you say about me earlier, Jamie?" Brooke turns her attention to my son.

"Nobody wins against Aunt Brooke," the little menace happily announces.

"And that's how it'll stay."

"Not with me on bass, Davis," Julian challenges as he positions his hands strategically on the guitar.

"Like you can play the guitar, Baker," Brooke rolls her eyes. At that instant, I see a spark in Julian's eye. What was that?

"I don't know, Brooke. He is pretty good," Sam tells us while Nathan and Chris nod in agreement.

"Yeah, he beat Daddy's record," Jamie informs everyone.

"Don't worry fifteen and five year old. Just watch and get ready to cheer for B. to the P. to the Davis," Brooke's former cheerleader self starts to peek out. I can't help but crack a smile.

"Wouldn't Brooke Davis suffice?" Nathan laughs.

"Brooke _Penelope_ Davis," Jamie corrects his dad.

"Just follow your son's lead and cheer for the right side, N to the R," Brooke laughs.

"Alright Penny D," Julian chimes in, "Let's see what you've got."

Brooke was telling the truth last Monday. She's definitely getting back to the Brooke Davis we know and love. It was just going to take a little while longer before she would be able to knock down the walls that were around her heart. Nathan and I started the process, but we can't knock them down for her. Who know, maybe Sam will be the one to help heal her. Heck I'd even go for Julian helping her out. But…maybe not Chris.

* * *

**A/N:** Isn't Jamie the cutest? If you guys don't remember the dance from ep 601, if you type "jamie dancing" in youtube, you'll find a vid of it.

I also set up the whole what is Lucas going to think since him and Peyton will be returning to Tree Hill soon.

So, tell me what you think, even what you'd like to see. Opinions, criticisms, "Yay Jamie" and "Chris is a nut" comments, they're all welcome. :)


	7. Shock Waves and Ripples Part 1

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

by: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**A/N:** Thank you, each and every one of you, for your awesome, thought out reviews!! I would name each of you amazing readers, but there's so many, and my internet is acting screwy, and I want to post this before it goes out again.i'll give shout outs next chapter :)

Anyways, as always I'm happy at how much you guys enjoy the previous chapter. I really wanted to enforce how much fun the group can still have even though Leyton is away. And also establish a friendship between the Naley family and Julian and Chris. There'll be more chapters like the last one...but not for a while, because as you'll see by the end, the drama is going to pop up. It's 85% fun, 10% deep thoughts, and 5% drama.

So read away and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Shock Waves and Ripples Part 1: Broody, Penny, and Jack, Oh My  
**

_

* * *

**Brooke's POV** One Week later, Brooke's kitchen  
_

_Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, till the am. Y'all don't understand. Hm hm hm hm hm. In the ayer, ay-ayer, da, da, da, da…_Damn it; I hate it when I get songs stuck in my head.

But what I really find annoying is when certain boys get stuck in your head. You know, the handsome, Oh so deceptively charming ones that you try to ignore or forget about because you know you shouldn't be thinking about them. But, they're face keeps popping up in your mind when you least expect it.

Or the boy literally and physically pops up in front of you, out of the blue, like one of those "Jack-In-The-Box" toys. You're enjoying the little ditty, the music of your life, and when you least expect it…Bam!

You become scared at first, but then you laugh off your initial fright to hide the fact that you were deathly afraid. And then you take another look at Jack, with his deep eyes and his scruffy, playful grin… and you can't help but fall for what just popped up in front of you.

And then comes the time where you have to decide whether you want to close the box on Jack…or leave it open.

Stupid box. Stupid Jack.

Stupid Julian.

_Vvvrrrrrrr…Vvvrrrrrrrr_

Damn, that vibration is loud. I look over my shoulder to find my cell phone doing its own little dance on the kitchen counter. It's probably Lucas triple checking whether or not I can pick him and Peyton up from the airport tomorrow afternoon.

"Lucas, why the hell are you disturbing me instead of your wife on the last day of your honeymoon?" I whine with my groggy morning voice, as I choose what breakfast to set up for me and Sam.

"Gross, Brooke," Nathan's voice startles me. Shoot. I just had to choose Cheerios today.

"Nathan?" I ask with confused surprise as I bend down to clean up the few pieces of cereal. Why was he calling me so early in the morning?

"Don't sound too disappointed," he jokes.

"Don't let my initial shock confuse you. I'm jumping up and down with excitement on the inside," I acerbically assure him.

"I'd hate to be you're insides."

"Ha. Ha. So, what'd you phone me up for, traitor player?" I ask, referencing his support for Julian during Rockband last week, and most notably his recent friendship with Julian.

Since our little Rockband session, Julian and Chris have shared after school snacks with Sam at the café; had Wii practice and dance practice with Jamie, a guitar bash with Haley, and two miserable attempts at shooting hoops with Nathan. And me…well, Julian liked to bother me at work every other day. Which means we've shared about two handfuls of bantering arguments that usually only ended because either Sam, Chris, Jamie and Haley, or all of the above would walk in and ask what we were doing for the day. Or Nathan would just tell us to shut up. Thank goodness Julian had a meeting up in New York today, my brain could use a break from coming up with witty comebacks. There's also been two group dinners, the second of which was interrupted by a very brief food fight in Haley and Nathan's dining room. I still need to pick up my silk Marc Jacobs blouse from the dry cleaners.

"Just cause he can play the guitar does not count as cheating at Rockband. You're just annoyed because he won," Nathan reminded me yet again. I smile when I hear Jamie's enthusiastic voice in the background asking who Nathan is talking to.

"No, I'm annoyed because you have suddenly gained a new best friend. I'm beginning to question where your loyalties lie, Nate," I say with playful wary.

"He can shoot a ball through a hoop without making it a competition and without talking all the time, Miss Allegedly dating Producer Boy," Nathan teased.

Talk about Touché. I guess he's still annoyed about when I disrupted his practice two days ago, on the Rivercourt, with my ten minute rant about the tabloids. I couldn't help it; I saw with my own eyes what the waitress said two weeks ago. I wish Bitchy Brooke could be back in town, and then I would kick the ass of whoever started the damn rumor.

"Fine. Let's start over," I relinquished my fight against him being friends with Julian, anything to evade any conversation that consisted of tabloid fodder or the prospect of Julian and I dating.

"Hello, Nathan; to what do I owe this pleasure of a phone call?" I enthuse in my dead on Stepford wife voice.

"You've had a crazy two weeks. I just wanted to see how you've been holding up," he answers with a light chuckle at my impression. I paused for a moment, analyzing what he was really trying to ask me.

"Hmmm. Are you asking, if after two weeks, have Baker and Keller caused me to go insane? Or are you asking, if after two weeks, am I looking forward to Lucas and Peyton coming home?" I asked the two questions I knew he was dying to ask me.

Two different questions. And depending on my answer, they would indirectly reveal essentially the same thing: Am I, Brooke Davis, doing better than I was two weeks ago? Or two months ago?

Better than the girl who felt alone seeing Lucas and Peyton together? Better than the girl who wanted nothing to do with Chris Keller and Julian Baker? Better than the girl who was afraid to _fully_ open herself up to others again? Better than the girl who had just opened up about her attack to Naley two weeks ago?

Good question, Nate.

"Both, I guess," Nathan replied into the phone as I contemplated my answer. "But, I do enjoy riled up Brooke. She reminds me of old school Brooke; I miss seeing her around."

"Yeah, I miss her, too," I joined in on the nostalgia, "But new school Brooke would rather not relive some of those days, you know what I mean?"

It wasn't just the attack that is hard to relive. The slutty days of high school, being betrayed by my best friend, slapping said best friend, and of course…being hurt by Lucas…those are hard to relive. But those high school days are long gone and I had gotten over them. If I hadn't, I never would have accepted Lucas or Peyton back into my life. And if I hadn't, I don't even think I would be talking with Nathan right now. And I need Nathan and Haley right now.

And just like those stinging high school days, I know the attack will be put behind me. That's why I need Nathan and Haley – they help me. And like I've said a thousand times, since senior year of high school, Nathan and Haley give me hope.

"Maybe you can blend the two Brooke-s together and have really awesome Brooke," Nathan propositions. I can hear him smiling at his idea and I feel myself do the same.

"Yeah." He does make a very good point.

"To answer your question," I revert the topic back to why he originally called, "Surprisingly no for the first and surprisingly yes for the second."

"Good. I'm glad," he voices.

So am I. I haven't been felt this ok about myself or relationships in a very long time. I'm not exploding with old school Brooke happiness…but I am happy with the progress I've made.

As unhappy as I originally was with Lucas and Peyton getting married…unhappy is the wrong word…maybe scared. Scared of being alone…scared of not being able to be rescued by them anymore…

Anyways, as whatever I felt I was…it's weird that their wedding is what brought Haley, Nathan, and I even closer. It's weird that the event helped me let go of Lucas. And it's weird that it brought two guys into my life…Chris…and I hate to say it…Julian. As much as I originally wanted to hate and exclude those two from my life, or anyone's life for that matter, they managed to find a hole in the fence and sneak on into all of our lives.

Part of that was Sam. Her ability to just latch on to people without giving too much of herself away – that drew them in. She wasn't totally trusting with them either; she did have issues as much as the next person. But she was willing to put herself out there, to create friendships with those who were equally courageous and clever like her.

Part of it was Jamie. His intelligence and personality alone speaks for himself. Add the cuteness factor, and you have gold…or in this case, three adults willing to give two supposedly reformed a-holes a chance.

And then there's Nathan and Haley. In the end, they gave me the courage to accept Chris and Julian in our lives. Don't get me wrong, the two Rocker Twins still manage to piss me off in oe form or another, practically everyday. The only difference is now I count to five calmly before taking out the water pistol.

"Brooke? You still there?" Nathan's voice echoes on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, sorry. So…really awesome Nathan, what's the second half of this call about?"

* * *

**_Julian's POV_**_; airport  
_

Usually I love traveling. I enjoy the little treats you get when you're sitting in a first class seat – the attention and pampering. It's being done by someone who doesn't secretly want to get in your good graces so that you would produce their next screenplay. What I enjoy the most are the different cities you can immerse yourself in and the occasional funny person that you meet.

But today, I hate it. The plus side about being a producer is that almost nobody cares what you do in your personal life. If you're a woman producer and you gained a little weight, nobody would automatically assume you're pregnant. If you're a guy producer and you hang around with a gal pal around Robertson, nobody would think you're cheating on your girlfriend.

But being the "playboy" producer who is the supposed romantic interest of a famous designer and inspiration for the widely popular, juggernaut brand that is B Davis…that's when trouble kicks in. And more trouble kicks in when today's tabloid claims that you've broken her heart and kicked her off of your movie team.

Like, your stewardess 'accidentally' spills two glasses of champagne on your shirt. Or a random fellow traveler hits you over the head with the tabloid that called you a heartbreaker in the first place. Or five other random ladies call you an asshole. Lucky for me I always pack an extra shirt whenever I travel, even if I'm only traveling for one business meeting. And lucky for me, the magazine doesn't weigh as much as lead. Seriously, where do magazines get this kind of stuff?

Gossip, rumors, even opinions from shady people, I take with a grain of salt. It's when people who don't know me, react to the gossip and then physically take it out on me…that's crossing the line.

But then again, it's not like I haven't crossed a line once or twice.

The fifth grade – pushing away Sienna Wynter. That's once.

Fairly recently – chatting up Brooke Davis. That's twice.

The first ended up ok since Sienna and I eventually became friends again. Plus, we were ten. We didn't know understand what we were mad about in the first place. But the second crossing of the line is a little more complicated. And why I label it as crossing the line…well, that's even more complicated. Complicated because her blonde broody best friends have labeled me an enemy. And complicated because we technically still "hate" each other. There's a third, but I'd rather not think about it any more than I have to.

Speaking of complicated, I spot her standing impatiently by the exit doors with her foot tapping rapidly and her fingers constantly running through her auburn hair.

"If I knew we were going to have an airport gig, I would have brought my guitar," I announce my presence to my tabloid ex girlfriend. "So where's the show at, _Penny D_?" I use my recently favorite nickname I've thought up for her.

She's mad…Nathan probably guilt tripped her into picking me up. She must be more than mad, she's probably pissed. Fine with me.

"Like we would invite a cheater to play, _Jack_," she tells me as she begins walking briskly towards the exit. No room for dilly dallying, I guess.

And Jack? What was Jack from?

Before I get a chance to ask her about her new name for me, or even to tease her about today's Hollywood gossip, her cell rings.

"Hello? What?" she asks. Her face has just turned slightly pale, like how I imagine she would look if her mother was on the other end of the line.

"Wow, um..that's wonderful. More than wonderful, really," she continues with a broken voice. "I uh – I would talk more, but I actually…yeah, that's fine…Yeah, tomorrow."

"Was that your tour manager calling?" I ask, pretending not to notice how much that one phone call has changed her mood.

But she remains silent and her brisk pace becomes faster while she leaves confused me in the dust.

"Ok…"

She's still quiet after a few minutes of driving. Whoever called her must have been not realized to how their news would affect Brooke. What I'm guessing was supposed to be 'wonderful' was more like 'Oh crap,' for her. I'm not used to a silent Brooke Davis. So I do what I normally would do to break the slippery ice called silence…I ramble and joke.

"Hi, Julian, welcome back. Life was so tortuously mundane and uneventful without you," I say with my head turned to one side. I turn my head to the other side, "Why thank you, Brooke. You know, I probably should have warned you before I left; it's natural to go through a little Baker withdrawal...Really? Not even an eye roll?"

No reaction. Not even a huff or a glare.

"Did you pick up the fabric?" She asks with a stoic expression, her eyes not leaving the road. Well, at least I got her to talk.

"What fabric?" I joke, at which I receive a deathly stare. She's back. "I'm kidding, of course I got it," I reassure her. Another two minutes of expressionless quiet. I can't stand it anymore; it's just too weird and unorthodox.

"This is totally out of character of me, but I'm going to venture and ask anyway …did something happen earlier?" I ask with a cautionary voice.

"No," she nods her head and then shakes it, like she's trying to make up her mind on whether or not to tell me. "Yes," she decides, "You might as well hear this from me since it's going to come up sooner rather than later."

"Hear what?" I ask. What information was I bound to hear that would make her feel the way she was feeling right now?

"They're having a baby," she nearly stumbles on the word baby.

After a few more seconds of silence, I mutter one syllable, "Oh."

I never thought that they would have a child so soon.

Maybe 'oh' isn't the right word.

'Whoa. Holy Mother Shit Hole' is more like it…

Lucas and Peyton are having a baby? They've really rushed into everything, haven't they? After more than three years of being apart, they suddenly get engaged…move in together three days later…marry three months later…and then find out about a baby two weeks later. I know they're supposed to be "destined" for each other. But really.

And people tell me I need to slow down.

I don't know what to think about a mini Peyton or mini Luke running around, hating me, and "accidentally" throwing baseballs at my groin…if I am indeed around Tree Hill at that time. I don't think I'm that upset about it...truthfully, I never imagined myself having kids with Peyton. She never seemed like she wanted any during the time we were together. Then again, her main goal at the time was to become an assistant to the assistant to a record producer. And my main goal was getting an indie movie into Sundance. And how could she express wanting kids when her subconscious and her heart were still pining for Lucas?

I get why Brooke has been upset the past twenty minutes. Peyton is essentially living the life Brooke has dreams about: a husband and a baby. Talk about a blow to the gut. I wonder if the newlyweds even realize that.

As for me, I can only feel shocked..._really_ shocked. And scared that if I do stick around, the kid might innately hate me. Actually, that would be kind of funny, now that I think about it.

"I get why you're upset, but I think it's a good thing you're not Peyton right now," I break away from my thoughts and say my opinion to Brooke. She stares at me like I'm some insensitive, selfish jerk, but I wasn't finished.

"Cause you have Sam and she's ten times more awesome than a colicky, spitting up baby. Plus, Sam, and any other kid that you might have in your life, certainly will never have half the drama a Lucas and Peyton offspring will go through. In my opinion, you definitely got the better end of the deal," I remind her of the family she already has.

In my opinion, Brooke's family kicks ass. I mean, she lets her kid use water guns to wake up the two bums that crashed on their couches. She has picnics on the floor of her boutique with Nathan and Haley and she dances synchronized hip hop with Jamie.

I don't know yet if my comment is helping. I know that I'm not the best or even fifth best person to go to for advice or consoling but, at least I was trying. Damn it, I have been getting way too nice staying down South.

It takes a little while for Brooke to speak since she's probably still processing everything, including what I had just rambled.

"Thanks," she smiles at me. Whew…

"Talk about a momentous occasion," I announce after a few minutes. I wanted to prevent silence from taking over again. "That was our first serious conversation, Davis," I taunt.

"One conversation does not change anything, Baker." Ahh, the good old eye roll.

"I cheered you up; that changes things plenty," I point out, "A little thank you on the cheek wouldn't hurt," I tease.

"Maybe you're right. Open your door and when I kick you out, I'll be sure to choose a cheek to thank," she threatens me with a smile. I see I've reverted her back to her good old 'Julian can fall of a bridge' self.

"Good to know we're on the same page. And good thing I'm a popular person," I say as I answer my trusty cell. It does always seem to ring at the right time.

"If that's Nathan," her voice grows louder as she directs it towards my phone, "Tell him he owes me big time - like three gallons of ice cream, big time."

I tell Nathan that she's an ice cream addict and that he shouldn't help enable her addiction. At that point Brooke, calls me Blackberry-aholic and threatens to throw my cell out onto the highway.

"We're going to Nathan and Haley's. Little J wants a pseudo audience when he practices for his talent show," I inform Brooke as I hang up on Nathan.

"Hopefully his talent is karate, and he chooses you for the audience participation round…or, even better, archery," her eyes light up, "With a shiny apple sitting on top of your head."

"It's so nice to know you still hate me, Penny D," I smirk.

"Forever and ever, Jack," she smirks back with an ooze of sarcasm.

There's that Jack again…

"Why Jack? Do you not like my name or something?" I ask her. More contemplation goes through that clever, beautiful head of hers.

"I don't know your middle name, so Jack will have to do," she shrugs. I give her a disbelieving cocked brow.

"So, you gonna tell me your middle name?" she asks, avoiding my silent 'What's the real reason?' question.

"So you can nickname me the way I nicknamed you? No way. That's a total rip off," I respond.

"I could just call you Julie B," she laughs.

Oh god.

"Like I haven't heard that one before," I deadpan, "I hope you're not losing your wit, Davis."

"Just saving the good stuff for later, Baker."

Usually I love traveling – whether it's by air, by sea, or just rolling down the highway behind my favorite wheel. But once in a while, a trip becomes the worst one imaginable simply because of the people you encounter or the delays you stumble across.

I hated traveling today.

And then I got into Brooke's car and the hatred rolled away.

* * *

**_Brooke's POV_**_; Naley residence  
_

After an emotional low and an emotional high within the span of one car ride, a relief washes over me when we arrive at Nathan and Haley's house. Relief - because I'm tired of wondering if the car ride would have been different if it had been anyone else, besides Julian, in the car with me. A question at which I come to the same conclusion – yes, it would have been very different. Relief - because I'm anxious to see what talent Jamie has in store for us. So of course, I grumble to Julian to hang up the damn phone so we can go inside.

Haley answers the door and motions us to come in, with a devious grin on her face. She doesn't lead us to the kitchen, but to the dining room. Something was going on…

"Haley, what's going - " I stop.

Surprise – shock – bewilderment – all of it seemed to have capitalized my body because I could not take my eyes off of the scene that was in front of me. And I could not prevent my lips from forming a huge O on my face. There's a humongous, kid crafted, 'Happy Birthday' banner on the wall, a few balloons scattered around the room, gifts sitting in a tiny pile in one corner and a cake in the center of the dining table. And around that table, are Nathan, Jamie, Sam, Chris, Mouth, Millicent, Skills, Deb, and Haley with freaking huge, 'We got you good,' smiles on their faces.

"Surprise," Haley whispers as she throws her arms around me.

"What the?" I utter, too shocked to fully return Haley's hug. "Oh my god. You guys…"

"Happy Birthday, Aunt Brooke," Jamie smiles from Nathan's arms.

"Did you know about this?" I turn to Julian. Before he answers, his dancing eyes give him away.

"If I say, no, will you drop your threat to hurt me?" he asks.

"I knew you could have paid for a damn taxi - " I call him out and playfully shove is forearm, getting a laugh out of the crowd that has come to honor and celebrate my 23rd birthday.

"Hey. Normally, one would be thankful for something like this," Julian says, feigning pain and rubbing his arm.

"I am, guys. This is incredible," I say in awe as I admire the sight even longer. Nearly everyone I love is around this table and I have no other words to convey. "I don't know what to say."

"I do. Get your tushy over here and blow out your candles so we can have some cake already," Chris insists pretty greedily. He already has a knife, serving utensil, and plate ready. I just notice that he's wearing two party hats, one over his right ear, and another slanted on top of his mess of hair.

"We bribed him with cake if he helped blow up the balloons," Haley explains Chris' anxiousness.

"There's, like, six balloons," Julian points out.

"Yeah…He 'accidentally' popped most of them," Haley complained, using finger air quotes for the word accidentally.

"Or sucked the helium out of them," Nathan added.

As the surprise slowly fades from my system, I hug each and every guest, taking more time to talk to some guests more than others. Since I hadn't seen Mouth, Skills, and Deb in so long, I attempt to take the time to see how they are doing. I especially want to know how Mouth and Millicent are. But that time is cut short because Chris, and even Jamie, really wants some cake. Chris even proves my Old Keller joke when he practically begs me to cut the cake.

After a semi decent version of 'Happy Birthday,' Jamie and Sam help me blow out all 23 flaming candles and the extra one for good luck. No lights were turned off the entire time – not even before when I first came in. And no sudden screams of 'Surprise!' either. Nathan and Haley are smart like that, knowing that after my attack, the darkness or sudden yelling may have scared the shit out of me in a bad way, not in a good one.

During the entire party, Haley and Nathan, are in charge of the camera and take dozens of pictures during the party.

Of course, a quarter of them are of Chris making goofy faces with either Jamie or Sam. There's a picture of Sam and Jamie smashing cake into Chris' face. And another where he returns the gesture.

And another quarter of them are photos of me, Haley, and Nathan making goofy faces as well. A picture of Haley and I pretending to sneak up on Sam and another of Nathan and I making fish faces.

Haley somehow managed to get a couple of pictures of Julian and I fighting…one is of us having a serious tug of war with the guitar controller.

And Nathan got a hilarious picture of Julian bench pressing Jamie with Haley's gaping face in the background.

During the night, Mouth and Skills reconnect with Chris…after Chris first apologizes for hitting on Millicent at the wedding. And Mouth, Skills, and Julian enjoy a game of Rockband. I hug Skills like crazy when he beats Julian. And Skills hugs Deb like crazy when she beats both Sam and Haley at the same game. Nathan, in shock, calls it beginner's luck. Afterwards, Deb and I have some girl talk and she asks about the attack and how I've been coping. We have a shooting range date next week.

After a lot of laughter, conversations, games, food, a ten minute hoops game of girls versus boys, and one half of a karaoke session later, the night is dwindling down to an end and Mouth, Millie, Skills, and Deb leave. The rest of us stay behind to help clean up and some of us stay merely to finish the cake.

"We know your birthday was last week, but we thought you'd be more surprised if we waited a little bit," Haley comments as we wash and dry the dishes.

"I was very surprised," I tell her, "I don't think I've ever had a surprise party that was this - "

"Awesome? We know. Little Scott is the man, or…kid," Chris pipes in from the kitchen table, cutting another slice of cake for himself.

"You thought up all of this for me, Jamie?" I turn to the little man that's helping Nathan put away the dishes that I dry. Now I know why Nathan and Haley convinced everyone to have the party tonight instead of tomorrow. Jamie probably begged to invite Julian and Chris, and that wouldn't have happened if Lucas and Peyton were around. And I still needed to have a talk with Lucas and Peyton before I could party with them, especially after I refused their birthday gift to me at their reception.

But I don't want to think about that craziness right now. I just want to enjoy the rest of my birthday – even if it is just the bunch of us cleaning up and washing dishes. Yup, tonight is essentially one of the best nights, in a long time.

"I thought of the party last week," Jamie says proudly, "and Sam thought about the surprise part. She said your face would look funny when you walked in. And she was right." Jamie's toothless grin peeks out.

"You should have seen your face, Brooke," Sam adds as she and Julian come from the dining room carrying a full bag of trash.

If only they could see my beaming heart.

* * *

**_Haley's POV_**_; Naley residence  
_

The doorbell rings again, but at a questionable hour. Well, maybe not totally questionable. It's just past eleven o'clock and Brooke, Sam, Chris, and Julian are still here disturbing the quiet and eating our food. But Nathan and I let them hang out past bedtime hour because the party made Jamie so hyper, he wasn't going to go to bed anytime soon, anyway. And Nathan wanted to finally beat Julian at that video game.

Thinking its Mouth or Skills on our front steps, I swap Jamie from my lap to Brooke's and go answer the door.

Boy am I wrong.

"Lucas. Peyton. What are you guys doing here?" I nervously ask the two blondes standing before me. I step out onto the porch and halfway close the door behind me. I really don't think Brooke can take more than one surprise today, so I hope my stepping out is an indicator that the two should leave. Maybe they would think the party is over. Well…technically it was over.

"Jamie called us about Brooke's surprise party. So we thought we'd give her a little surprise ourselves," Lucas explained, his hands holding a blue bag. Is that the same gift Brooke was talking about last week? And Jamie called Lucas? When? Oh crap.

"The party ended like an hour ago - " I try to explain.

"We know she's still here, Hales, her car is out front," Peyton interrupts me as she steps past me to get inside. Pretty soon, Lucas follows suit and I'm immediately right behind them. I know they're family, but didn't they ever hear of being invited in?

"Guys, wait!" I try to stop them. Brooke had just had one of the best birthday parties in her life, and now her two best friends might inadvertently ruin it within a few minutes.

"Brooke?" Lucas yells out as him and Peyton head for the family room area. I hope Julian hears and he does the right thing and exits out the back door. Actually, I hope everyone hears and they all run off somewhere and hide. I quickly stifle in a laugh at the thought of Julian and Chris hiding in a closet.

Lucas and Peyton walk by the dining room and see the remnants of decorations. And they also see Sam and Chris having an arm wrestling fight. Although, I'm not sure they know its Chris since his back is towards them. For all Lucas and Peyton know, Chris left Tree Hill when Brooke kicked him out of their wedding two weeks ago.

"Sam!" Lucas greets and tries to get her attention – I guess to ask where Brooke is.

"Lucas!" Sam's eyes bulge out. I didn't blame her.

"Lucas?" Chris whispers as he cautiously turns around to face the new visitors.

"Chris?" Peyton's face lights up at the sight of her old friend. Lucas, however, doesn't share the same enthusiasm.

"Goldie," Chris gives an uneasy smile.

"Brooke?" Lucas utters her name when he and Peyton spot probably _the_ most surprising thing either has ever seen in their entire life.

Brooke laughing with Julian and high-fiving Jamie, who is on Julian's shoulders. But the laughter dies once the two notice their exes standing across from them with wide eyes.

"Lucas," Brooke mutters with shock.

"Julian?" Peyton says, her voice verging on angry.

"Peyton," Julian's eyes stay surprisingly still as he gently removes Jamie from his shoulders.

Jamie remains silent, feeling the unusual and unexpected tension that has filled the air.

"Sam," Brooke motions for her foster child to take Jamie and leave the room.

"Chris," Sam, grabbing Jamie's hand, now motions Chris to follow suit. He begrudgingly does as he's told. And everyone remains silent until the trio has left the room.

"Haley," Lucas turns to me, trying his best not to explode. Oh no, the tips of his ears are pink.

"Nathan!" I scream for my husband's butt to get into the ring of fire.

"Uh oh," he mumbles when he sees the two blonde newlyweds and the rest of us standing on edge. I indicate for him to wipe the icing that has somehow gotten on the corner of his mouth. This is going to be a long night.

Once Peyton and Lucas stepped into the house, all the tension sparked in a span of less than one minute…and with the utterance of only eight names.

The next 10…20…100 minutes, who knows what the hell is going to be said or what the hell is going to happen.

"Uh oh" is right.

* * *

**_Brooke's POV  
_**

And then comes the time where you have to decide whether you want to close the box on Jack…or leave it open.

Two different boxes. Two different Jacks.

I made my decision on one a long time ago.

And now it's time for the other.

* * *

**A/N:** dun, dun, dun. hehe i always have fun saying that. Did you guys like it? Didn't like it? I sort of condensed the party stuff because all the dialogue was making the chapter way too long. But if you guys want a glimpse of the dialogue i came up with...i can make a one shot of it later.

So, tell me what you think about what's going to happen, what you hope doesn't happen, whatever you'd like. I love reading your reviews, and they really help get the juices flowing...which i will definitely need once the drama really picks up.

Well, I'm rambling like Julian does when he can't stand the silence of Brooke...so I'll leave on a good note. Keller rox my sox off and Brulian may soon rock their socks off….hahaha, we'll see if that's a spoiler or not…


	8. Shock Waves and Ripples Part 2

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

by: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**A/N**: THANK YOU so much Trish, princetongirl, miralinda, jess, BrathanBrucasBaleyBreyton, Iz-Belle91, GodessSiri, gigga, TvWeirdo07, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, tifa1984, xcgirl3, mickeiblue, toddntan, JJBrowneyes, pyrolyn-776, ok, brucas equals love, smc-27, brulian equals forbidden love, p0line, cutiekesi, flipflopgal, Olivia, ParadiseLost23, maiqu, PrincessOnyx, gigglingismylife, othlife, parrot06, Andi, nicolasdes, CoffeeWithCinnamon, bella, PeterClaire, divisionminuscula5, and Katy for your AWESOME, and LONG reviews!

I truly appreciate every word you guys write :) And a lot of them make me smile as much as some of my chapters make you guys laugh.

* * *

pyrolyn-776 - We have a deal :)

brulianequalsforbiddenlove and p0line - Wow, thank you for taking the time to write great reviews! I love that you love what's going on :)

othlife - no, you're awesome! lol

PrincessOnyx - awww thanks!

* * *

And to All My Kick Ass Readers: I know you're dying to read the next chapter, so before you do, please remember...

This is all drama. Not really any comedy, but you probably understand why. And if you do find something funny, it was unintentional but I'm glad I can still make you laugh.

Also, please keep an open mind throughout this whole chapter because this is four different point of views. And a warning to anti Peyton fans…one of the POV is hers, so bear with her. And by her, I mean me.

Anyways, here is the next chapter…hopefully it answers some questions and hopefully it's at leat half of what you were hoping to read.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Shock Waves and Ripples Part 2: Cheery, Broody, and Peyt, Oh My**

**

* * *

  
**

**_Naley Dining Room; BROOKE'S POV_**

"_And then comes the time where you have to decide whether you want to close the box on Jack…or leave it open." – Brooke Davis (Chapter 7)_

I told myself before that I would stop thinking and see where all of this goes. I guess I'm finally going to find out. I just hope it doesn't tear anybody apart.

"Lucas, Peyton, what a surprise," I give an uneasy smile as I make the first deep cut into the silence and eerie tension that might suffocate us. And shit, this was a surprise; and not the good kind. I could be optimistic and believe that Lucas and Peyton will be open-minded and hear my side…our side of the story; give everything and everyone a chance. But I haven't been optimistic in months. But I'm no pessimist, either. I'm a realist. And the thing with being a realist is that you know to prepare for the worst.

"I think you guys are the ones that did the surprising," Peyton uneasily jokes. Her hand slips uncomfortably away from Lucas' and I know she's scared…she's scared because she's confused. And she's scared because she's angry, but she doesn't want to express it. Confusion and anger are a deadly combination. Lucas and Peyton are both because they cannot understand why the one person they despise...or maybe the second person they despise...is enjoying themselves at my birthday party. And nobody bothered informing them about it.

"Just a little birthday party for Brooke. Too bad you missed it," Julian comments. My elbow nudges him in his side, but he doesn't flinch. In fact, his glare doesn't break away from Lucas. He's been ready for this confrontation for a while now. Just like the rest of us have been.

"I'm sorry. Did anybody ask you to talk?" Lucas snapped, his voice attempting to stay low.

"Lucas," Haley and I both scold him. Lucas rolled his eyes and turned angrily to Haley.

"Two weeks, Haley. I told you to look out for her for two weeks," Lucas whispers furiously to his best friend. But any background noise that might have covered his words is non existent. Anger begins to rise in me once I hear Lucas' request.

"She's a grown woman, Lucas," Haley defends me.

"Look out for me?" I ask making sure I heard him right.

"You asked Haley to watch over Brooke?" Peyton asks as well, genuinely surprised. But she's in love, so instead of being angry at her husband, she's confused.

"You looked upset at the reception; I was worried about you," Lucas focuses his explanation to me. He was worried about me? He was _worried…_ about _me_? Damn it Lucas!

"Dude, you have a _wife_," Julian reminds Lucas of who should be first on his priorities list. I shouldn't even be second or third. I'm more like…seventh. Peyton, Lily, Jamie, Karen, Nathan, Haley, me. That's how his list _should_ go.

"Brooke is a _close_ friend," Lucas tried to defend himself, rubbing our history in Julian's face in the process.

"You have a wife, dude," Nathan loudly repeats Julian's statement, shocking Lucas.

"They're right, Lucas," I stood up for Julian and Nathan, as well as for myself, "You just don't ask Haley to baby sit me. I can take care of myself."

"I know, Brooke, it's just - "

"No, Lucas," I shake my head, my temper rising. "You need to stop this weird habit of yours. For _once_, can you just protect the woman that you're actually with and not the one that has already gotten over you?" I demand more so than ask. A rush of high school memories flood into my head and I know the same is happening in his mind, as well as Peyton's.

"Is that why he's here? He's _protecting_ you now?" Lucas asks. He's trying to figure out what Julian's place in my life is. I'm silent; I don't know what to say. I haven't even figured that out for myself, yet.

"She doesn't need anyone to protect her," Julian states with a resolve I've never seen before.

"_You_ stay out of this!" Lucas snaps.

"The hell I'll stay out of it!" Julian snaps back.

"You don't deserve to - " Lucas starts yelling.

"If she wants me to protect her; I'll step up," Julian interrupts him, "But she's doing fine on her own, so I don't get what you're so worried about."

"Then what the hell are you doing here if she doesn't need you?" Lucas yells, clearly aggravated at Julian's response and his faith in me. I'm pretty shocked at Julian's statement as well.

"Don't yell at Julian!" I immediately yell back at Lucas.

"Don't yell at Lucas!" Peyton now chimes in. "I warned you about him, Brooke!" her anger resonates in her voice. Yeah she warned me about Julian. The fact that he is standing next to me didn't mean that I didn't listen to her. It meant that I trusted him now.

"And I warned you about _him _back in high school, Peyton," I yell back and point to Lucas, "But that didn't stop you." It took everything I had in me to restrain myself from pointing out that she even had a bun in the oven with the guy I warned her about.

"You never warned me; you cut me out of your life!" she brings up the bad blood that I thought was sucked out of us.

"Are we digging into the porcelain throne and bringing this crap up again?" I furiously ask, "I cut you out because I felt betrayed by my best friend!"

"And you don't think that's how I feel right now?" Peyton yells back at me.

"Dude, you have a husband!" I throw the fact into her face.

"Ok, everyone stop," Haley shouts and raises her hands in the air. It takes a minute for all of us to calm down. "I think we should take this outside; I don't want Jamie to hear anymore fighting," Haley requests. Oh god, Jamie. I really hope he didn't hear us.

"Even him?" Lucas gestured toward Julian.

"Yes, Lucas, even Julian, but first," Haley looked towards Julian and I for help, "I think you two should check on Jamie and Sam. Make sure Chris isn't feeding Jamie anymore cake." She's asking us to make sure Jamie is ok, that he doesn't believe the members of his family are hurting each other.

But his family _is_ hurting right now. Lucas and Peyton are hurting by the choice we made to let Julian into our lives. They are hurting because I kept Julian's box open. I am standing by him. Nathan, Haley, and I are standing by him. We feel slightly guilty, and we regret not fully explaining everything sooner.

But at the same time, Nathan, Haley, and I also feel hurt by Lucas and Peyton for not believing in us – not believing that we can make the right decision when it comes to letting a new person into our lives. After all the shit and drama we've been through, you'd think the five of us would have more faith and trust in each other to make the right decisions.

It's hard to believe the audacity of Lucas and Peyton have to show up, unannounced (despite their intentions), and go off on Julian and then on me. It's hard to believe that we immediately resorted to yelling and blaming now. We didn't even try to start this conversation like civil adults. But that's what confusion and anger does. It's like a horrible drug that eats up your judgement and closes your mind on new possibilities and compromises.

And now, everything will change in one instant if the wrong words are spoken and if the wrong decisions are made.

"_How many moments in your life can you point to and say, 'That's when it all changed,'" – Brooke Davis (1.03)_

_

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_

**_Naley front yard; LUCAS' POV_**

"_Do you ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it four years like high school? One year? An eight week rock tour? Can your life change in a month, a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, and to get ahead. But when you're young, one hour can change everything." – Lucas Scott (4.13)_

Julian Baker. Julian. Baker. Brooke, Nathan, and Haley are friends with Julian fuckin Baker. When I first saw him with Jamie on his shoulders, and Brooke following, I thought Brooke would be furious, irate even. I could even see her calling him a dingbat ass hole who should put her godson down and leave. But she was smiling, smiling in a way I haven't seen in a long time. And Nathan and Haley didn't bother to say anything about all of it. It's like they were used to seeing Julian carry Jamie like that. And Nathan agreed with Julian about the whole 'You have a wife' thing. Nathan agreed with his sister in law's ex boyfriend.

When the hell did all of this happen? How the hell did all of this happen? It was two weeks!

If Julian were any other guy; any other guy at all, I wouldn't feel so angry and hurt by all of this. But it was Julian – the arrogant producer who walked out on Peyton and left her heartbroken. And he lied to me about it when he first approached me for the movie. Brooke even agreed with me that he couldn't be trusted. What the hell changed between then and now?

What the hell changed that cause all of us to be on opposite sides of the fence. What caused Haley and Nathan to claim that it was wrong for me to be worried about Brooke? Yes, Peyton is my wife. And yes I worry about her. But I can worry about everyone else at the same time, can't I?

Everybody needs somebody to watch over them. I was doing that for Brooke until someone, other than Julian, could fill that spot. I can't help it; I'm used to being that guy for her. And I know that sounds wrong, but it's the truth. If Haley never found Nathan, I'd still be watching over her as intently I do Peyton and Brooke.

The most uncomfortable part about all of this is being on the opposing side of Nathan and Haley. Nathan, Haley, and I have been attached at the hip since college started. We had created a new kind of Scott family with the addition of Jamie. And now we were standing apart.

"You two really have to stop hurting Brooke," Haley chided Peyton and I as soon as the four of us gathered on the front lawn. _We're_ hurting Brooke? Is she sure she doesn't have the wrong guy?

"How are we hurting her?" Peyton asks in defense. Like me, Peyton is not sure what our sister in law is talking about.

"Besides just now? A dance and a phone call ring a bell," Nathan mutters with crossed arms.

"First of all, I don't understand how any of that could hurt her. And second, if we did hurt her; she didn't say anything," I try to stand my ground.

"First of all, _think about it_. And second, of course she won't say anything; she doesn't want to interfere in your happiness," her tone is condescending, disappointed, and angry; and it pricks my heart. That can't be true. I would know if Brooke was hurting inside, wouldn't I?

"What about Julian? You don't think he's going to hurt her?" Peyton counters.

"If anything, he's been helping her," Haley insists. I don't want to believe what I'm hearing. I'm not going to believe anything until I hear it from Brooke.

"This just doesn't make any sense," I voice my thoughts; "It was two weeks, you guys. How the hell could everything have changed in two weeks?" My tone is frustrated and confused – a horrible combination.

"Gee, I don't know. Why don't you tell me Lucas?" Haley retorts. "The two of you sure haven't been around in a while for us to talk about things," she accuses. More accusations and more frustrations.

"We were on our honeymoon," I spell out for Haley. None of this was making any sense at all.

"I'm talking about before the honeymoon," she further explains.

"What are you talking about, Haley? We were here," Peyton asserts as she brushes her fingers through her curls.

"No. The two of you were in Lucas and Peyton La La Land," Nathan contends in a derisive manner.

"What is that supposed to mean, Nathan?" I question.

"Think about it, Luke," he repeats Haley's earlier comment to me. But before I can think about it, Brooke and Julian exit the house and join us on our little patch of lawn. Peyton's hand finds its way to my shoulder, warning me not to be impulsive or rash.

"Jamie and Sam are watching TV," Brooke tells Haley. Code for Jamie didn't hear anything.

"Chris is pretty dead though, he's already snoring on your couch," Julian smirks.

"Thanks guys," Haley smiles. Anger still boils inside me and maybe even jealousy.

"You're thanking him?" I say a little too loudly.

"Oh my god, Lucas. What is your problem?" Brooke huffs.

"I'd say he has more than one," Julian remarks. I scoff and walk up closer to him, shooting daggers his way.

"Did you weasel your way into their lives to piss me off?" I accuse, hatred dripping from each word, "Is this some grand scheme to take away everything I love because I took Peyton away from you?"

Julian scoffs at my loathing and accusation, "Dude, do you even hear the self-absorbed shit you are saying? And if I wanted to 'piss you off,' I would have done it by now."

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask with crossed arms.

"He's our _friend_, Lucas," Brooke admits and startles both me and Peyton with the painful truth. "And you two may not like it, but you're going to have to deal with it," she asserts adamantly. But I don't want to. I don't want to trust this guy who has somehow infiltrated his way into _my_ family. Accepting him feels like I am accepting a replacement.

"You're asking me to be ok with _him_ hanging out with Jamie," I inquire, attempting to keep the focus off of Brooke. I don't want that stuff to come up again.

"Jamie adores Julian. And he adores Chris; you're not going to take that away from him," Haley practically orders me.

"It's been two weeks, Haley," I complain, unable to think of a stronger counter.

"Julian has spent more quality time with Jamie the past two weeks than either of you have the past two months," it's Nathan's turn to make accusations. And this stabs my heart stronger than hearing Julian is their friend. That statement couldn't be true. I have been there for Jamie since he was born and I may have gotten distracted when Peyton and I got engaged. But I never stopped seeing him...did I? But when the truth is thrown at you like that, your mind shows you that in fact you have done something wrong…while your heart tries to deny it.

"Aren't you his godfather?" Julian scoffs. He's clearly entertained by all of this. He would be; my family is sticking up for him.

"Yes. And you're not, so stay away from him," I threaten him, despite Haley's previous request. It's the anger talking. I'm angry at Julian. I'm angry at myself. I'm _very _angry at myself.

"That is not your decision," Brooke reminds me.

"It may not be, but Julian is going to leave, once the movie is over," Peyton insists, trying to turn this around on him. "There's no use for Jamie to get close to someone who is leaving and never coming back," Peyton insists.

"From what I recall, you said the same thing about your brother back in high school, Peyton," Haley counters, "But your husband told you not to cut him out."

"People always leave, Peyton, but sometimes they come back," Nathan throws back Peyton's words from six years ago – when Haley left on tour and Nathan was losing hope.

"Are you going to come back, Julian? Leave the grandeur of Hollywood and come back to little old Tree Hill?" I sneer, trying to show Nathan, Haley, and Brooke that maybe Peyton is right; Julian is here for one reason only – his own personal benefit of making a movie and ruining everything I know.

"If people want me back, I'll come back," Julian shrugs.

"You didn't go back to Peyton," I remind him and everyone else.

"She didn't want me back."

While a part of me felt relief at hearing his statement, that Peyton didn't want Julian; another part of me couldn't help but fall apart. I _could_ brush all of this off and open up to the prospect of Julian being an ok guy. But I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to become friends with somebody who was there to pick up the shattered pieces of Peyton's heart. I don't want to become friends with the _other guy _that supposedly loved Peyton. I don't trust him. And I don't want _my_ friends to become his. But they are.

Less than an hour as passed since Peyton and I walked into my brother's home and we came face to face with the disbelieving truth. Haley had been trying to explain it me all week, but I kept cutting her off or putting everything off till our return. Haley never went into details; she didn't want to ruin mine and Peyton's honeymoon. _"Just a little warning; we don't really hate Julian as much as you do,"_ she told me the other day. I thought she meant that on the hatred meter, they were between orange and red, while I was at boiling point red.

I didn't expect this; I didn't expect this for our group. And I didn't expect Nathan to claim that I haven't been around for Jamie. But I can't argue it because right now, I can't remember the last time I had quality uncle-nephew time with him since Peyton moved in. Since Peyton moved in…according to Nathan and Haley, that's when everything started. Maybe it is. Maybe Peyton and I became so wrapped up and blind with love that we forgot about the rest of the world. But that's what happens, isn't it? It's not our fault...

And right now, I feel like I'm losing more than an argument. I feel like I'm losing my family to Julian Baker. And it only took him two weeks to achieve it. Whether all of it was on purpose or not, all I feel is hurt, perplexed, and jealous. I've broken three different hearts. Lindsay's once. Brooke's twice. Peyton's three times. And apparently, according to Haley, I hurt Brooke again. No, let me rephrase that. I did hurt Brooke, again. Maybe this is life's way of piling a fraction of all that pain on top of me in one night. Maybe the worst is yet to come.

"_Brooke, I never meant to hurt you."_

"_That doesn't really matter, Lucas. Cause in the end it all hurts just the same." – Lucas Scott, Brooke Davis (1.19)_

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**A window; SAM's POV**_

I thought my life had drama. A foster child moving from home to home, unwanted, and ultimately spending some nights in the school auto shop, I did not expect to land in Dramaville. Brooke and Mrs. Scott's lives have been crazy and full of crisis after crisis since they were my age. It's a little hard to believe. But it is pretty entertaining.

"We're supposed to be watching TV," Jamie walks in on my spying.

"This is more entertaining," I tell him tritely, not bothering to look back at him.

"Can I watch?" he asks as he takes a spot next to me. He watches earnestly, expecting some sort of comedic performance from his family. After all, that's how it's felt the past couple weeks, like one happy go lucky sitcom. But it isn't a sitcom. Reality was hitting now and I know Haley and Brooke would be upset if they knew Jamie was watching intently with a bag of popcorn.

"Actually, squirt, it might be better if you stayed with Chris," I try to convince him.

"His snores hurt my ears," he states. He's not whining like a regular five year old would. He just says it like it's a known, honest to goodness fact.

I chuckle at his complaint and figure nothing bad could happen if he just watched for a little bit. You couldn't hear what they were saying anyway. "Ok, fine. But only for five minutes," I tell him.

It's hard not to tell they're fighting. You can even see Lucas' vein popping out of his forehead from where we are standing. Meanwhile, Julian has as smirk on his face, probably laughing at Lucas' vein pulsating. "Why are they fighting?" Jamie asks me after a minute of watching.

"I don't know; I can't hear anything," I tell Jamie as Haley yells something incoherent. At this, Jamie then unlocks the window and opens it just enough for us to barely hear what is going on.

"For a squirt, you're pretty smart," I raise my brow at Jamie. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to open the window.

"I know; it runs in the family," he shrugs as we watch for a little bit longer. Seriously, this kid. I don't know where he gets it from. I hope I'm not making a mistake by letting "Little Scott" spy with me.

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**Naley front yard; PEYTON'S POV**_

"_Do you know how terrible it is to be disconnected from your best friend? Look I really hurt Brooke and I just don't want her to be disappointed again." – Peyton Sawyer (1.17)_

Tonight wasn't supposed to happen this way. Tonight wasn't supposed to end in strife or drama. Tonight wasn't supposed to hurt, pain, or sting.

As Lucas and the others argue, Haley and Nathan's accusations resonate in my head. Did Lucas and I really hurt Brooke has much as they claimed? Have Lucas and I been alone in our own little world, ignoring everyone else? What happened that Brooke and I have become as disconnected as Haley claims we've been? How could I have hurt her, _again_?

"So that's it. He's part of the family now? After two weeks?" Lucas asks Nathan and Haley. He still can't believe what has happened while we were away and I can't believe it either.

Julian is charming, yes. But the Julian I knew, his motives were not always genuine. If there was something he wanted, charm and tricks up his sleeves were his two greatest weapons. I wouldn't be shocked if Lucas' accusation was true – that Julian was becoming friends with everyone just to spite Lucas and me. I don't trust Julian. Not after he walked out on me. Once this movie is over, I don't believe that Julian will come back to Tree Hill for Brooke, Nathan, and Haley.

"Who cares if its two days or two years? The fact is, he's a friend and he's not going anywhere for now; so get over your selves already," Brooke stands up for Julian once again; something I am definitely not used to. How did this happen?

"If he were anyone else, Brooke - " I try to explain why Lucas and I feel the way we do, but she doesn't let me.

"Why? Because he's your ex, Peyton?" she inquires. She knows me too well. That's exactly what I was going to say.

"You're Nathan's ex; you're still here. I'm Lucas' ex, twice might I add, and I'm still here," she brings up three very valid points. I can't think of a rebuttal or any kind of argument.

"That's different; and you know it," Lucas counters. But I shook my head; no, Brooke is right, it's not different.

"How Lucas? How? And don't you dare say we were in high school," Brooke challenges him with a raised voice. Anger has been building in her for a while now, and it's finally being released. Only, I don't know if it's anger from tonight, or heartache that has accumulated over time.

"It just is." Lucas is lost in his argument.

"You can't think of any reasons? Well, I can. Peyton doesn't ask him if he misses her, five years later. She doesn't try to make his dreams come true with two tickets to Italy…_five years later_. And she sure as hell doesn't break his heart by yelling "We're having a baby!" over the phone," she screams. Lucas and I are taken aback by the pain swelling in her voice and her eyes. And we're taken aback by the fact that those moments hurt her. Haley was right.

"No, I take that back. Peyton's bundle of joy announcement did hurt someone - her best friend. And she didn't even realize it," she finishes with a sullen voice. Her hazel eyes stare disappointedly into mine.

"Brooke," I whisper. But I don't know what to say, because I still don't understand how.

"I have been hurting so much, Peyton. With Angie, my mother, and…the store…" she pauses, trying to control the sobs that might come out. 'The store' is the attack…I know that. I just didn't know that she had still been hurting over it. And I didn't know she had still been aching for Angie.

"Did you even think how your news would affect me?" Brooke asks me. I can't answer her. I didn't want to tell her the truth: I didn't think the news of a baby would affect her negatively. I believed she would be happy for us.

"And when I was hurting, the only people that saw it were Nathan and Haley. Even Julian saw it today," Brooke continued. "But my best friend didn't see it until_ I_ said something," tears stream down her face. Brooke turns and points to Lucas, "And _you_ sure as hell have been blind since…" but she can't finish her sentence. I can. Lucas has been blind since her attack.

Nathan and Haley watch intently, but they don't seem shocked. Its as if they knew this has been building up inside of her for a long time. I can't say the same for Julian. His face is stoic...his poker face...but his eyes tell a different story. I wonder if he knows Brooke's recent history. He probably didn't. Julian was never told what had happened and he could still find the pain in her eyes. And I couldn't.

"We tried to help you, Brooke. But you said you were fine," my voice cracks.

"It's called being scared and closing off your heart, Peyton," Brooke states, controlling her sobs. She didn't get better after the night she confessed the attack to me? I thought she was fine since she never brought it up again. I thought she was ok because she didn't say anything. Oh god, I should have known. I should have seen it. My teenage years were all about closing off my heart. I know how it feels; I know what it looks like. And I didn't see it in my own best friend.

"You didn't say anything. How were we supposed to know?" Lucas asks.

"I told you five years ago, Lucas. You just _are_," Brooke restrains her self from breaking apart.

My heart is now breaking at the realization that I have been inadvertently hurting my best friend. And for so long she had been crying, aching, and I wasn't there for her. She had been facing everything alone. I never saw it because I was too busy. Too busy spontaneously flying to Vegas and LA. Too busy moving in with Lucas. Too busy working at my label. Too busy planning a wedding. Too busy being in love. Brooke had been keeping all of it in because she didn't want to ruin my happiness. And I never realized it. Lucas and I never realized it. I'm her best friend. I should have seen it.

"You know what; I've had enough of this. I'm going to get Sam," Brooke heads to the front door. I take this moment to glance at Nathan and Haley. And now I wish I hadn't. It's one thing to receive a look of disappointment from your parents. It's another to receive that look from your best friends that are parents.

"Brooke, wait," Lucas calls out and goes to follow Brooke, but Julian steps in his way.

Julian is really standing up for Brooke. What the hell changed him? I don't even know what Julian could be thinking about all of this. Brooke made it a point not to outright mention her attack, so he obviously doesn't know about it, yet. I wonder what he's thinking about all of this. The conversation started out about him and his sudden friendship with our family. But then it turned into one about Brooke and the shitty job Lucas and I were doing as Brooke's friends.

"Leave her alone, Lucas," Julian advises.

"You don't tell me what to do," Lucas raises his tone. Brooke's mini speech has evoked guilt, anger, more guilt, and pain. All of which are probably reaching a peak now. I notice Lucas' hand form into a tight fist. Oh no.

"I just did," Julian states. Before anybody could stop him, before I could stop him, Lucas' fist heads straight for Julian's jaw.

"Lucas!" I scream just as Lucas' fist comes in contact with Julian's chin. I grab Lucas' arm and implore into his eyes, silently asking him why he decided to turn this physical.

Julian loses his balance and falls to the ground as Brooke, Nathan, and Haley immediately head over to help him.

"You really need to get your head out of your ass, man," Nathan screams at his brother.

"Julian! Are you alright?" Brooke and Haley both ask him as they help him off the ground.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Julian mutters as he brushes dirt off himself and tries to push Brooke and Haley away from him. "I'm fine, Brooke," he insists as she inspects his face.

"Come on. We're going home," Brooke tries to pull him away, but his feet remain planted.

"No. I want to stay here and pummel his ass into the ground," he makes his way towards Lucas with his fists ready to pound. But Brooke grabs his forearm.

"No, not now. I'm not letting you be like him. Besides, we don't have a camera with us," Brooke reasons with him. A camera?

But that comment seems to reside with Julian and he reluctantly agrees to walk away. On their way to Brooke's car, Haley assures Brooke that Sam and Chris can stay with her and Nathan for the night.

"I can't believe you guys are taking his side," Lucas says as soon as Brooke and Julian drive off.

"This wasn't about sides, Lucas. It never was," Nathan asserts, "But if you keep acting like this, it might be." Nathan shakes his head as he goes back inside to go put Jamie to bed.

"What about you, Haley, where do you stand in all of this?" I ask meekly, already knowing her answer.

"Look, it's late. We're all tired. I think you two should just go home and we'll all sleep on all of this," Haley insists. She's always trying to be the mediator.

"Hales - " Lucas starts.

"Don't 'Hales' me, Lucas," Haley interrupts angrily. She shakes her head once she notices Luke's shocked expression. "I'm sorry. It's been a long night. And I still can't believe you punched someone on my front lawn with your godson in the house."

"Haley," Lucas calls out to his best friend as she walks away.

"Go home, Lucas," Haley screams without bothering to turn around.

"What just happened?" Lucas asks me. His heart is broken, just like mine. Is it possible that we got married two weeks ago? Because it feels like another lifetime ago. It feels like that was someone else's life.

"I think we happened," I voice.

Nathan was right. This was never about sides. They didn't tell us about Julian for our sake. But what else did they expect us to do? We explicitly told them that we didn't trust him. And then we come back and see our enemy at home base. We throw fire balls their way because we're confused, angry, and hurt.

And it's only natural for our friends to fire back. And they fire back harder, stronger. Because their bonds are stronger. They've grown stronger while we've been away living in our own little world. And Brooke and I…we're disconnected, broken. She affirmed it with her speech.

And unless Lucas and I do something, this _will_ be about sides. But I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to fix this for Brooke.

Brooke Davis is my best friend. And for as long as I can remember, she has been there for me through thick and thin. Well…not counting the brief months in high school when I lied to and betrayed her. She lied to me once. But I lied more than once. She's been there at the drop of a hat. She's given me two second chances, forgiven me twice for having feelings for her boyfriend. Two dead moms, a school shooting, a psycho attack, psycho jail visits, Lucas' proposal to Lindsay, Lucas' almost wedding…and so much more – Brooke picked up the pieces. She was my glue and my rock.

And the past several weeks, where have I been for Brooke? Where _was_ I? And what is going to happen now?

"_Brooke, can we be friends…Like before?"_

"_I don't think so. Like before is gone, Peyton…But maybe we can be better." – Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis (4.17)_

"_Brooke, what am I going to do?"_

"_First, you're going to let go. __Now we're going to sit, and you are going to cry on my shoulder for as long as you need to. Okay?" – Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis (5.08)_

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A/N**: The drama doesn't end here…

But, now that this chapter is done, hopefully none of you hate me. I can see Leyton, Brucas, Breyton, and Laley fans hating me right now. And that's fine. Just don't get stressed…the gang is just incredibly mad and hurt right now…I didn't break any friendships…yet…

And those of you with ants in your pants for a huge Brulian hook up…there is a light at the end of this waiting tunnel.

So, please review and tell me how you feel about this chapter and let me know if the quality is still up to par. You guys are the most awesome readers ever and the story will continue…


	9. U Turns, Bullets, and Shattered Glass

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

by: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: Please see Author's bio

**Summary:** After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.

**A/N**: Oh my gosh you guys! I am so overwhelmed and incredibly thankful for ALL of your _Long, Amazing, Encouraging, and Thought Out _reviews!!! There are many of you and I would like nothing more than to list and give shout outs and mini msgs to all of you, but I don't want to turn this chapter into a long author's note. Seriously guys, awesomeness on your part. It really really helps and it's so nice to know there's support out there for this fic. Virtual Hugs!

Angelgirl0190, Idon'tknowyet, powerof3halliwells - Thank you so much for taking the time to review. It's cool if you lurk, since you're still reading (I lurk other stories too sometimes) and this means alot that you took the time to review for the last chap :)

Adge, SV, TeamSophia, CoffeewithCinnamon - Thank you guys for your support and in depth and analytical reviews. Your encouragement and opinions help me a lot with my writing and help me understand how you feel about the chapters. I haven't addressed everything yet because in my opinion it all takes time, and I'm glad you guys saw that. Hopefully this chapter will keep you guys wanting more.

And, lovely readers, here is the next installment. The italic words in Julian's POV are flashbacks to when he was ten - I slightly alluded to this in the last chapter (about the first time he crossed a line by pushing Sienna away). Read and hope you enjoy. :)

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**Chapter 9: U Turns, Bullets, and Shattered Glass**

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_**Julian's POV**_

"_I don't want to come over," her tiny, sullen voice was barely audible amidst the autumn winds. Sienna and I had just stepped off of the school bus and were now at the fork in the road. Right led to her house, left to mine._

"_It's not my mom's fault, Sienna," I said, knowing why she didn't want to hang out at my house anymore. She remained silent, she didn't want to have a "Yes it is/ No it's not," argument anymore. I defended my mother because she was my mother – my rock at that time in my life. I didn't realize that I would later regret defending her._

"_I don't know if we can be friends anymore," Sienna mumbled in reply._

I didn't realize then how hurt Sienna was or how much she needed a friend at the moment. I didn't realize it because I was just as hurt as she was. And we both needed someone to blame.

But, we also needed someone to lean on so we could try to make sense of what we witnessed, make sense of the chaos that had tumbled into our innocent lives. We just didn't know where to turn to; we were ten.

At the time, we believed that our own parents could do no wrong to us. So we blamed each other.

_Her words stung me, so I had to sting back. I didn't ask why she didn't want to be friends. I knew the reason – she blamed my mother for tearing her mother's life apart. And since I was trying to defend my own mother, I agreed we shouldn't be friends anymore. "Fine," I answered, "I was getting sick of you anyway." As soon as the words left my lips, I felt my world crack._

_As I turned for my home, I heard her shouts. "I hate you, Julian Baker. I hate you and your mom and I never want to see you again!"_

I didn't turn around and face her. I didn't turn back and try to change anything; I just let it happen.

I let our friendship fall apart. And since the argument was about our parents, several days later I blamed my mother for Sienna's hatred and departure. My mother betrayed my father and she betrayed me. When my parents' marriage fell apart, my friendship with Sienna did too. I blamed my mother, the one person I thought who would never let me down; I blamed her for obliterating the ideal side of life that I knew.

I was a kid. _We_ were kids. Sienna and I didn't know how to fix relationships back then. We didn't know how to fix _ourselves_ back then. Mainly, because we didn't know that in order to start the healing process, you have to turn around and face the truth. Face what's haunting and hurting you. And if you have to, you go back. You go back, before moving forward.

And when you face the truth, you let the ones that care, to support you and to listen to you. You let them into your heart, not push them away. I pushed Sienna away that day.

Maybe if I turned around in that moment, when I heard Sienna's words of hatred, something could have changed. Maybe if I changed my mind and ran back to her, we would have become closer and stronger, instead of estranged and lost. Who knows, maybe Sienna and I would have become the Haley and Lucas of our California neighborhood. But I didn't turn around. And she didn't either. Neither of us did, until two years later. But we couldn't get back those two years – two years lost in a labyrinth of closed off feelings with anger as the only companion.

"Turn around," I tell Brooke as she speeds down the road. Two minutes and thirty eight seconds, give or take ten or so seconds. That's how long I lasted before I couldn't take it anymore. Her swollen red eyes, the tears accumulating that she refused to let go, the whites of her knuckles brightening as she squeezed tighter onto the wheel – I couldn't take seeing her like this.

Last week I noticed that Brooke Davis had been guarded, closed off. I didn't know it was because of her best friends…and someone named Angie and her mother. The fact that Brooke had maintained her feelings and thoughts kept under lock and key for weeks showed how strong and yet how scared she has been.

The unexpected confrontation earlier is definitely the shittiest way to end a night. But, none of this was going to end, not yet. Brooke was filled with anger and she had to yet release all of it. She was going to, though – even if it was onto her best friends and in front of me.

That's why she was afraid. That's why she restrained herself from saying anything else earlier. That's why she abruptly shut the door close on the argument. She was afraid of losing her best friends again, even though, according to her recent words, they hadn't been there for her. And she was afraid of anything that might be said that she didn't want me to hear. I'm the newbie in town; she didn't totally trust me yet.

I didn't say much during the arguing. I was too busy ingesting everything in and trying to figure it all out. But mostly, I was watching Brooke. Watching as she was slowly breaking down. I wanted to catch her, stand up for her, throw hundreds of daggering words at Lucas, but I couldn't. I restrained myself to see if she would open up, because that's what Brooke needed to do.

But now, if we do go back, and she still finds it hard to throw daggers of truth at those that hurt her, I'll do it for her. She shouldn't be the one suffering. She shouldn't be the one to take it all in and never let it out.

Even though I've only been around for a couple or so months, I've picked up on a few things. And one of those things is that Brooke Davis is the most selfless person this side of the Mississippi River. She took in Sam to be her foster child, at this crazy time in her life. She's there for Jamie at the drop of a hat, even if work demanded her. She let Peyton and Lucas believe she was fine so that they could be happy. And she even agreed to pick Chris up from the airport last week because I had conferences all morning.

Brooke Davis is one of the most selfless people I know and she didn't deserve whatever pain she was going through. And that's why I'm going to help her turn around, turn around and go back. So that she can move forward. God knows, if I had someone like that all those years ago, I would have welcomed them.

"Turn around," I repeated, ignoring the throbbing of my cheek. Two punches in a row. If it weren't for the fact that Jamie was only feet away from us, I would have kicked Lucas' ass so hard into the ground, that he would've found his beat up self in China, a whole nation away from Brooke.

"No. You are not going to go back and beat him up; at least not with Jamie and Sam around," she needed an excuse to bottle up her feelings again; I was it.

"Not me. _You_ need to turn around and go back." I'm not going to be the reason that she continues to suffer away inside and let Lucas and Peyton go away with minor injuries.

"No, I don't," she insists, her grip tightening even more on the wheel.

"You're not finished, Brooke. You have to talk to them," I try to convince her.

"I said everything I needed to say."

"No. You didn't. You were only at the cusp of what you needed to say. You only stopped because I was there," I call her out on her actions. The car screeches to an ear deafening halt and if it weren't for my seatbelt, I might have acquired another minor scratch on my face. Her door swings open and slams shut within seconds. I don't know why she decides it's better to talk outside of the car, but I follow suit.

"You've been here two months, Julian. You don't know anything about me except what was written in some stupid book. So how can you tell me what I'm feeling or what I need to do?" Her screams are looking for a way out, a way to escape what she knows she has to face.

"I may not know what happened to you, but I do know that you are Brooke Davis; and you deserve more than this shit that's been thrown your way," I tell her from my side of the car. She crosses her arms, her foot taps rapidly. She wants to refute me, but she can't.

"I do know that you're scared…scared of exposing you're feelings because you don't know where you'll end up." Her eyes spark and focus on mine as she essentially hears that I am on her side in all of this; I know what she's feeling.

"And, I also know what happens when you keep everything locked away inside of you…You don't want that, Brooke."

Her head shakes as she slowly approaches me and takes in a deep breath. "I'm fine, Julian. I'm getting better. I don't need…" she can't finish lying to herself. She may be getting better, but she's not fine.

"Brooke - "

"Why are you saying all of this?" Her hazel eyes implore mine, trying to figure out why, out of the blue, I'm behaving like a concerned friend. I inhale deeply, thinking of the right words to say.

"I've been somewhere near where you are," I say with a low voice as I take a few steps closer to her. I don't tell her about Sienna. Or about the woman that broke my heart (not Peyton). Those are stories left for another day, another time.

We're leaning against the front of the car, staring at the empty stretch of paved road in front of us. In the darkness, only the few streetlamps light the way, but they're few and far between.

"Our experiences are most likely not the same," I continue, "But, like you said, I can see the hurt in your eyes." I turn to face her, "The news about the baby triggered something. I don't know what, but you're hurting more than you were yesterday. And the hurt might not go away for a while, but if you don't start now, it'll only get harder." With every phrase I say, her tears that have accumulated slowly begin to break down the barrier and fall down her cheeks.

"No. I can't," she shifts her gaze away from me as she wipes her face free of the salty droplets. I don't blame her for being afraid. These were lifelong friendships she would be fighting against.

"I said that if you needed me, I would step up," I say sincerely, "So, if Lucas decides to become Lucasshole again or if you feel like you're going to fall, and you think you need me, I'll be there to pick you up." I'm not quite sure how I can help, since I don't know the details of the situations. But maybe she just needed someone by her side.

"Why? We've never even had a meaningful conversation." She wants to know if she can count on me, the guy that's been taking jabs at her the past two weeks.

"Actually, I think this is our second one…or one and a half since the serious part of the conversation during the ride from the airport didn't last that long."

"But…why?" Her tears haven't stopped, but they have slowed significantly.

"You shouldn't go through this alone," I tell her. Nobody should try to heal alone. Brooke had Nathan, Haley, Sam, and Jamie to help her through this. But she obviously felt conflicted about letting Nathan and Haley completely heal her, since they're Lucas and Peyton's family too. And Sam, she wanted to save her kid from the heartache.

"If I do this, and I don't come out ok…" she crosses her arms as she contemplates what I suggest to her. She's shivering. I don't know if it's from the chilly night air or the prospect of facing Lucas and Peyton again. I wish I was wearing a jacket.

"That's not going to happen," I immediately tell her as I gently wrap my arm around her bare shoulders. She flinches at the sudden movement, but before I get a chance to remove my arm, she soon relaxes into my form.

"How do you know?" she whispers as her eyes stare out at the open black road again.

"Because none of it was your fault," I know I strike a chord with her because she slightly shifts her position.

"You don't know that; you weren't here," she states as if she thinks whatever happened was her fault. Even though I don't know what happened, I know it can't be her fault.

"Just because we bust each others chops 24/7 doesn't mean I haven't been paying attention," I smirk. She looks up at me and furrows her brows.

"Unlike me, you're a good person, Davis. Shit and crap happen to people all the time. But when it happens to a good, selfless person, it's usually not their fault," I explained. We stare at the horizon again as she contemplates for a few minutes. Her tears have stopped; her strength slowly inches its way back.

"You're a good person, too, Baker," a meek smile plays on her face as I quirk up my right brow, "Just because we bust each others chops 24/7 doesn't mean I haven't been paying attention."

"If you say so. Just, don't tell Hollywood; I have a reputation to protect," I cross my arms, pretending to be the tough guy again. I look down and watch her for a few more seconds. "So, what's it going to be, Penny D?" I nudge her lightly with my elbow.

"If I need someone…" I grin at her third attempt to make sure I wasn't going to leave her. I replace my arms around her shoulders in reassurance.

"We can make up a code word, or a signal, whatever. And I'll jump in right then and there." Her mouth twists slightly upwards at my remark. I let her think some more, to prepare herself. I'm not going to force her into this. If she's not ready, she's not ready.

"Ok," she nods her head. I pull her in for a supportive, sideways kind of hug before we head back inside the car.

"Wait," she says just as we open our doors. "Maybe you should drive. I might lose my nerve, make an illegal U-ey, and accidentally hit a lamp post or something." I nod; it is a good idea. She notices me chuckle softly just as we cross paths in front of the car.

"What? It's not funny!" she defends before she slides into her seat.

"U-ey?" I ask with a wide grin as she drops the keys into my hands.

She resists the urge to smile. "U turn, whatever. Just start the car, before I run out."

Confrontations are violent things, violent in the figurative sense. People's worlds get shaken, turned upside down, or maybe remain peaceful through it all. Brooke's world might change dramatically. But her world has already changed since high school, since college, and since she first returned to Tree Hill. The only difference this time is that she would be the one to change it. She's not going to let herself drown in a sea of hopelessness. Nathan, Haley, and I are going to make sure of it.

_**

* * *

Lucas' POV**_

I rhetorically ask my wife what the hell happened. I didn't expect a response. I didn't expect her to say that she thinks _we_ happened. I merely stare into the sky above with hands on my hips. I succumb to my frustration as I let out a painful groan. I decide to go for a walk; hopefully a walk will help me think. Think about why Haley and Nathan are upset with me. Think about exactly why Brooke broke down outside here on the lawn.

Peyton walks beside me, our arms hooked and our hands intertwined. Neither of us says a word during the entirety of the walk. She's busy contemplating in her own mind. It strikes me that I don't know what she's thinking or feeling even. She has recoiled inside of herself trying to figure everything out. And I have done the same.

This is when we are weakest as a couple. The both of us tend to withdraw into ourselves and pull away during times like this. Usually we unintentionally take turns and one of is strong enough to save the other. But, if both of us are withdrawn, it's incredibly difficult to pull each other out. Right now only the touch of our fingers wrapped around each other is what anchors a portion of us in reality.

"I need you to tell me what you're thinking," she says in a low tone, our pace never faltering. "This isn't going to be like before – where you just tell me everything is going to be ok and I believe you." She stares up into my eyes, but my eyes don't meet hers. "Lucas, I don't think it'll be ok this time," she whispers her fears into the frigid air.

"Do you think they're right?" I answer her question with one of my own. She whispers yes and rests her head against my shoulder. I feel a tear land on my shirt. She believes that we caused all of this, that somehow we are the ones that caused the pain that has weaved its way into our world.

"Don't worry, Peyton. It'll be ok," I tell her even though I know she doesn't believe me. "The thing with Jamie…yeah, we were wrapped up in the wedding, but he knows that. He knows that it's all been unintentional. And with Brooke…"

Peyton's green eyes are wide in disbelief, "This 'thing with Jamie' is not going to just blow over, Lucas. Haley and Nathan love you. They would never blame you or us for ignoring their child if they thought it wasn't important."

My throat has difficulty swallowing the guilt her words have instilled in me.

"And Brooke…she's not done with whatever it is she's going through. She's still destroyed inside. Five years ago, I was where she's at right now. But I had _you_ and at prom, I had _her_. Brooke, she didn't have either of us because we were lost in each other. How could you not see any of this Lucas?" Her words have stopped us in our tracks a while ago. And a lonely tear cascades down her face. And now I can see the pain that she's wearing on her sleeve. She stares at me, waiting for me to respond, but I can't.

Because I'm the idiot who didn't realize any of this till she had to spell it out for me right now.

"We should talk with Nathan and Haley," she breaks the minutes of silence, "Maybe tomorrow morning after we've slept on all of this."

I shake my head. No, if I didn't do this now, I won't get out of bed and do this tomorrow. "Let's try now," I tell Peyton. She refuses, saying Haley wanted space. But I insist. And because she's my wife, she reluctantly agrees and allows us to try this my way.

Out of courtesy, she calls Haley to inform her of our arrival. We botched up one unannounced arrival; we weren't going to mess up another one. And now I find ourselves standing in the same position as an hour ago. Except instead of bursting with joy and anticipation, we're bursting with nothing.

Sam surprisingly answers the door. I forgot her and Chris were still here. She lets us in and we wait for either Haley or Nathan to come by. Peyton attempts to start a conversation with her, but Sam only gives one word, deadpan answers. She's angry with us, too; did she see us arguing? Haley yells that she'll be here in a minute and Sam takes advantage of the one minute.

"I know we don't really know each other," she starts, "but…I hope you guys don't treat your baby the same way you've treated Brooke. Believe me; it will have a crappy childhood if you do." Peyton and I are floored and taken aback by her words. We're not that cruel, are we? And have Peyton and I really been that blind? "And Lucas…" Sam breaks us out of our shock, "You're a self absorbed ass."

"Sam," Haley scolds as she approaches the three of us. I'm still stunned at the teenager's words.

"Give that to Brooke," Sam rolls her eyes at Haley's reproach and holds out a dollar bill to her.

"You can give it to her yourself; she's in the kitchen with Jamie and Julian."

"Cool beans," Sam says as she walks away. Before she makes her turn into the kitchen she shoots daggers my way.

"They're here?" Peyton asks nervously. We didn't anticipate another six person argument for tonight.

Haley informs us that Brooke returned specifically to talk to me and Peyton. She wasn't the only one surprised at Brooke's sudden return. We thought she was finished for the night, but apparently not. What eats away at me is Julian is still here. And that means it's because he's here for Brooke. Peyton tells Haley that we wanted to talk to her and Nathan. We want to discuss the Jamie thing. But Haley shakes her head in exhaustion. She's torn and angry, but she pushes it aside because she thinks that Brooke is more important right now.

"Brooke says that Nathan says that Chris won't get out of your bed. And he said that he'll injure him if you don't go up and stop him," Sam interrupts our conversation. Haley sighs and tells us to wait while she and Sam go upstairs to help Nathan. Only Chris Keller would provide slight comedic relief during all of this. But I doubt any of us can laugh at anything right now.

Mine and Peyton's uneasy silence, and the absence of Sam and Haley, allow me to hear voices echoing from the kitchen.

"Can I touch it?" I hear Jamie exclaim in wonderment. I'm guessing he's talking about the injury I placed on Julian's mug.

"Sure, Little J, just don't put another one on my face," Julian jokes. _Little J?_ He has a nickname for Jamie now? My heart flinches at this fact – the fact that Julian is so friendly and close with Jamie. My ears strain to listen more intently at all that they're saying.

"All right handsome, that's enough stalling. Time for bed," Brooke says.

"You want to tuck me in?" Jamie asks excitedly. Even though I only hear his voice, I can imagine the sparks that light up like fireworks in his eyes. He adores his Aunt Brooke…I'm not sure when was the last time I saw those same fireworks.

"Sure buddy, as long as you promise to stay in bed this time," Brooke picks up Jamie into her arms. The three of them are in viewing range now, but they don't notice our presence, yet. Peyton's hand slips into mine as we awkwardly watch the pseudo family at the other end of the house.

"You wanna come too, Big J?" Jamie asks with the same excitement as he did earlier. _Big J_. Dual nicknames? They had dual nicknames for each other? My heart quenches even more than when I heard Julian call Jamie 'Little J.' Jamie adored Julian almost as much as he did Brooke. It didn't seem right to watch the three of them like this and not say a word. But my feet were cemented to the ground and my head wanted to see more, even though my heart didn't.

"Why not," Julian agrees as he follows aunt and nephew. Jamie catches my eye now and I notice him slightly recoil at the sight of me and Peyton.

"You just keep getting softer by the minute don't you?" Brooke dimpled smirk stares up into Julian's eyes.

"Just lead the way, Penny D," Julian replies. My heart stops and skips more than one beat at _that_ name. And it doesn't skip because it's happy. If I wasn't taking my HCM medication, I'm pretty sure that moment would have caused my heart to stop for more than a couple of beats. But I have Peyton, I shouldn't care about nicknames for Brooke or the fact that Julian and Brooke were obviously closer than I thought they were. But the name, the sheer existence of it causes a spike of jealousy. _Penny D_?

And as soon as my heart skips a couple of beats, it stops again as Brooke and Julian now notice Peyton and I. Standing only a few feet away from each other, the five us stare in silence for what feels like years, but is only mere seconds. I clear my throat and attempt to make this uneasy encounter less…well, less silent.

"Hey Jamie," I greet as I slowly walk towards the trio, pulling a hesitant Peyton with me, "You going to bed?" I force a grin on my face and my hand reaches to brush his head. He stiffens at my touch and Brooke's eyes tell me that she felt him retreat as well. Why was Jamie acting this way?

"Aunt Brooke and Julian are going to tuck me in," Jamie answers me solemnly, his eyes staring at the ground.

"I'm sorry we couldn't hang out tonight. But how about we hang out tomorrow? Maybe a little one on one," I try to cheer him up, try to prove that I haven't ignored him. But Jamie remains silent and rests his head on Brooke's shoulder.

"He's tired; you should bring him upstairs," Nathan and Haley join us in the hall now. We all walk to the edge of the living room, next to the bottom of the stairs.

"Say goodnight Jamie," Haley reminds her son quietly before Brooke has a chance to head for the stairs.

"G'night Uncle Lucas," Jamie whispers and looks uneasily at me for the second time that night. "G'night…" he pauses and whispers into Brooke's ear. Peyton and I watch as Brooke's expression morphs into distraught shock.

"Yes. She's, Aunt Peyton," Brooke chokes on her whisper.

"Sorry…Aunt Peyton," Jamie sighs with an apologetic face.

"Don't worry, kid. It's ok to forget names once in a while," Peyton attempts to comfort Jamie with a grin.

"Like how you guys forgot about us?" Jamie retorts innocently. All of us are rendered speechless at Jamie's observation. And I feel Peyton recoiling deeper inside of her self.

The biggest blow of the night assails on mine and Peyton's hearts. Jamie couldn't believe that, he couldn't think that I would ever forget about him – that Peyton and Iwould ever forget about _all_ of them.

"Jamie," Haley whispers as she approaches her son. "I'm sorry, guys," her comment is focused on me and Peyton, but her tone isn't as apologetic as I thought it would be. "Brooke how about I just take him," Haley holds out her arms to her son, but Brooke has a hard time handing Jamie over to her.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" Brooke asks when the little boy's arms refuse to let go of her neck.

"I don't want Uncle Lucas to hurt you," Jamie admits with fright in his eyes. Brooke and Haley's eyes narrow in worry as mine and Peyton's widen.

"What makes you think that he'll hurt her?" Julian asks with a soothing voice. Jamie doesn't flinch against his touch.

"He hit you in the face," Jamie answers as he points to Julian's bruised cheek. Another bullet heads straight for all of our hearts. Now, I know Brooke or even Julian would never tell Jamie that his own godfather resorted to violence. So my heart breaks when I realize that there are more repercussions to mine and Peyton's initial surprise tonight. Silence holds each of our voices hostage again and only Nathan has the strength to break through the chains and break the quiet.

"Jamie, did you see us fighting?"

Jamie's head nods slowly and Nathan releases a frustrated sigh as he urges Jamie to come with him. The five year old allows his father to scoop him up in his arms and before I know it, Haley and Nathan have taken Jamie upstairs. I'm guessing they can't explain what happened with all of us in the same room. Especially since the couple was already upset with me before this travesty of a night ensued.

"Lucas Scott, I could kill you for shattering that little boy's world," Brooke's loud whisper drips with threat and fury.

"None of us knew he was watching, Brooke." I know it's a poor excuse, but I am still reeling from everything I've heard since Peyton and I walked through the door for the second time tonight.

_I hope you guys don't treat your baby the same way you've treated Brooke._

_You're a self absorbed ass._

_Sure, Little J…_

_You wanna come too, Big J?_

_Lead the way, Penny D._

_Like how you guys forgot about us?_

_I don't want Uncle Lucas to hurt you._

_Jamie, did you see us fighting?_

My reeling is halted and I'm pulled out of my own shallow pool of worry when Brooke goes to slap me in response to my comment...but her hand stops in the thin air, a good few inches away from my face. My hand reaches up to my cheek and my heart splinters at the sting of her non existent slap. She's stopping herself for Jamie, at the rare chance that he has escaped Nathan and Haley.

"Oh no, you don't," she restrains herself from screaming. But she doesn't have to scream. Her eyes are shooting bolts of lightening for her. "You do not get to make yourself feel better and pull the oblivious card again. And you certainly are not going to make yourself the victim this time around. The arguing –the punch, that was just unnecessary frosting on top of the already shattered plate of devastation you have caused Jamie," she fires, "Devastation that you've caused _us_."

"Brooke -" I try to think of something to say, but her words of pain inflict tons of it onto my defeated heart. I notice that neither Peyton nor Julian is attempting to rein Brooke in. Peyton was right, Brooke isn't done hurting and she's not going to let me get away with anything. I don't have Peyton to back me up right now. She's letting Brooke let it out; let it all out into the open.

"No," Brooke doesn't allow me to speak. "We are not going to have a repeat argument-ive performance of one hour ago. Not when that little boy is upstairs, scared of his own uncle. I may not like you right now, Lucas, but Jamie does not deserve to be estranged from or scared by his own godfather any more than he already is."

"It's not like that, Brooke," I try to convince myself more than her. But the words have no meaning because I know that she is right.

"It's not like that?" she voices a little loudly, but immediately brings her voice down again, "Right. Then how do you explain what he just said? Or him forgetting Peyton's name? If you had been around the past few months, he wouldn't be so confused and...Did you know that he asked me if your marriage meant that you had your own separate family now and you would never see him again? He thought that Peyton was replacing him." The pain in her voice isn't pity for me, nor is it pity for Peyton. It's empathy for Jamie. And she wants to remove the thoughts that Jamie has for his uncle. _I_ want to remove those feelings of hurt and alienation, but I can't.

"Brooke, Julian; Jamie's asking for you," Nathan says quietly as he comes down. Nathan's eyes avoid mine but I know he's staring into Peyton's. Even though he and Peyton aren't related by blood, they've been in each other's lives longer than I have. Jamie isn't the only one that has felt alienated. Nathan and Peyton have become distant as well. And I never realized it till now. I wonder if Peyton has; she probably has. I go to hold my wife's hand, but she backs away and retreats across the room. We're left alone, without a roadmap or a light to guide our way out of this turmoil.

"You're doing fine; just breathe," I hear Julian comfort Brooke as they walk past me.

If only I could breathe.

And if only the night could breathe pity and quickly retreat to let the dawn in, but the darkness won't pass over us. It won't allow us that relief. The night knows that this is far from over; this is just the beginning.

* * *

**A/N:** I love Julian...and I hope you guys loved this chapter. Drama, drama: Peyton is withdrawing, Lucas is hurting, Nathan and Haley are distraught about their son and friends, and Brooke is going to explode. And when that happens...let's just say Lucas is going to go through hell. Just a warning.

And Brulianites: the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a long way away but it's not short either...just like Christmas, hmmm. lol...actually, if I update regularly, I don't think it'll take that long.

You guys are amazing as always and I really believe you guys are the best readers/reviewers ever :) Sorry if I say all that too much lol.


	10. The Guilt of the Reckless

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why Can't I Find You?_

By:SamiJane

**Disclaimer:** See Author's Bio

**A/N: **Thank you once again everyone for your wonderfully amazing reviews! (Shout outs at the end of this ch)

What you need to know:

All in Peyton's POV because she's the only one that can actually sort of tell what's going on in everyone's head – since she's Lucas' wife, Brooke's best friend, Julian's ex, etc.

All drama once again – mostly Brooke releasing everything that has been building up within her. Lucas-Brooke-Peyton centric chapter

Italic quotes are Peyton's flashbacks, the episode number is listed if you forget when it's from.

So, here is the long awaited chapter ten. As always, I hope you enjoy :)

**

* * *

Chapter 10: The Guilt of the Reckless**

* * *

"_You know, it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things, or people, and we take them for granted. And it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you realize how wrong you've been..." – Nathan Scott (3.20)_

_**Peyton's POV**_

Jamie's familial world of love turns upside down once again and this time it isn't because of interference by a psycho nanny. It isn't because his father had his dreams swept out from under him and is drinking his sorrows away. It's because of one argument – one explosive argument with a grand finale of Lucas punching Julian in the face. After the mini revelation of Jamie witnessing our quarrel…and after the five year old basically calls me out on never being around…Brooke is angrier than ever.

And I…I am more lost than ever.

"Lucas Scott, I could kill you for shattering that little boy's world," Brooke's whispered and yet irate statement complements the fury that fills her hazel eyes. There's only two other times I've seen such intense hurt and anger envelop my best friend.

"_I don't know what hurts worse, you and Lucas sneaking around behind my back or you lying about it to my face…He meant everything to me, Peyton. And I was ready to try and be his friend if that's what he needed. And now I don't really care if I see either one of you again." (Brooke 1.15)_

"_The last time! Do you hear yourself right now? The last time you tried to steal my boyfriend! He's on the door Peyton! He's on the damn door under me!" (Brooke 3.22)_

"None of us knew he was watching, Brooke," Lucas attempts to defend himself.

As I break out of my thoughts, my pupils catch Brooke's hand ready to swipe Lucas' face.

"_Don't you dare! Don't you dare twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a back-stabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are; and you know it." (Brooke 3.22)_

But this time, Brooke stops before contact is made. There's only one reason Luke escapes without a physical scratch from Brooke Davis – and that reason is currently sitting upstairs with his parents attempting to explain the adults' uncharacteristic behavior.

"Oh no, you don't," Brooke fires back at Lucas for whatever he just said. "You do not get to make yourself feel better and pull the oblivious card again. And you certainly are not going to make yourself the victim this time around. The arguing –the punch, that was just unnecessary frosting on top of the already shattered plate of devastation you have caused Jamie," she fires, "Devastation that you've caused _us_."

"Brooke -" Lucas attempts to interject, but only silence follows the utterance of her name. Lucas' hand subtly searches within the area for mine; he needs support. But I can't be there to give it to him right now because I'm still lost. I'm still lost in my own crazy head, with guilt floating around, and the selfish part of me trying to swim away from it. I don't want this to be our fault. It can't be our fault. But it is. The truth is out there again, and this time with Jamie's accusing words.

I want nothing more than to backlash against Brooke and try to stand mine and Lucas' ground. Even though I know that somewhere…somehow…some of the fault lies with us, I want to help Lucas come up with the words to defend him self, to defend the both of us. A part of me wishes that somehow I can come up with a halfway decent, defensive argument.

But I can't. I can't say anything. I can't do anything. I can't think of anything because my mind is trapped on the fact that Lucas and I have dented the world of my best friend, and also that of a five year old boy. Jamie's five words alone are what caused my usually verbal, self-protective self to shut up. _"Like how you forgot about us?"_

But I didn't forget them; I never did. I wish I can say that. I wish that can make everything better, but it won't. Lucas and I never forgot about them; we just had a lot of other crap going on that we thought was more important. Even in my head that sounds lame.

Why the hell can I not come up with a legitimate reason, besides blind love, for how I let any of this happen?

"…If you had been around the past few months, he wouldn't be so confused and...Did you know that he asked me if your marriage meant that you had your own separate family now and you would never see him again? He thought that Peyton was replacing him," I hear Brooke argue.

My heart stings at that statement. God, to that little boy I'm like the evil monster who kidnapped his Uncle Lucas from right under his nose.

_The villain_…no…god, no…I'm not like Dan; _we're_ not like Dan. That guy is a villain; an evil, conniving, son of a bitch that for some reason thinks he can reform.

He's the villain – the bad guy that justifies his horrible actions because he believes he's actually the victim in everything. That's always the villain's problem; they make themselves the victim every time, without realizing it. By victimizing themselves, in their messed up heads, it validates all the horrible actions they've done.

I was just a blind fool in love. Maybe if someone said something sooner, I would have snapped out of it earlier. Maybe it is my fault that we've all gotten to where we are. It is our fault that we weren't around.

"Brooke, Julian; Jamie's asking for you," Nathan says quietly as he comes down the stairs.

Julian. Brooke _and _Julian. I didn't want to believe it when Lucas and I first invaded Brooke's birthday party; I didn't want to believe that Julian had actually found his way into the lives of everyone I care about. He left me heart broken; _he_ is supposed to be the bad guy, not me or Lucas. I don't understand how all of them could form such a friendship with him in such a short period of time that they would stand up for him _against_ Lucas.

At first, I was scared that Julian had something up his sleeve, because…well, that's how he was sometimes with other people…other people being studio execs and the other ruthless CEOs of Hollywood. But, he isn't like that with Chris, Sienna, me for a time, and now Brooke.

Maybe the truth is that I was really scared of the fact that he _didn't_ have anything up his sleeve. If he didn't, that would mean that he isn't the selfish guy who walked out on me…it would mean that I was the selfish girl who didn't give him my heart. And that makes me the bad guy and him the good one. But, nobody wants to be the bad guy.

As I watch Brooke and Julian walk away, I catch Nathan's eyes skip Lucas' and hurdle straight for my own. Just like the rest of us, Nathan didn't expect any of this for his son. And I'm not just talking about catching Lucas' rendition of Sir Punches A Lot.

None of us expected that any of us would feel alienated or that we would alienate each other. We all had such disasters of a family that we became our own unique one. In the words of the little Hawaiian girl, Lilo, "Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." And though he doesn't say anything, Nathan's eyes speak alone and tell me that I've failed to follow that rule.

There was a time, long ago, when he thought he knew me better than Lucas did. But now, he probably is thinking that he doesn't know me anymore. We haven't even hung out just the two of us in…um…not since…wow. It hasn't been just the two of us since the first week that Brooke and I moved back to Tree Hill. To Nathan, I definitely did not follow that family rule.

Lucas' hand reaches out to me once again, but I can't take it. So much is coming down on me that I don't know where to find the strength to be Lucas' support right now. How can I support him when I can't even support myself? I try to find solace in the solidarity of the living room back wall, but it offers no comfort. I must have blanked out in my thoughts because, as if by magic, Lucas suddenly appears next to me, his hand reaching out.

"I need you to tell me what you're thinking," Lucas whispers my previous words into my ear as I accept the palm in front of me. Nathan watches intently, possibly waiting for the right time to kick us out of his home.

And he does find a right time. He chooses my silence as an opportunity to ask Luke and me to go home. It is late and he and Haley have not one, but two kids trying to sleep soundly. Plus, they have the pleasurable annoyance of Chris Keller to deal with.

Nathan tells us that he's been trying to see our point of view in all this, trying to figure out how to make it all ok for us. Because he and Lucas are brothers, they're connected by blood, and they've had each others' backs for years now. And up until twenty minutes ago, Nathan believed Jamie understood the supposed reasons behind Lucas' lack of presence.

But everything changed. For the first time in months, Jamie voiced his views about Lucas' absence. And for the first time in, who knows how long, Lucas acted like an ass and punched Julian out of the blue. And the fact that Jamie witnessed everything…well, it's not surprising that Nathan is finding it difficult to not be disappointed in us.

Lucas and I guiltily agree that it's best to leave. Maybe after some sleep, all of us, including Brooke, could talk about everything rationally, with no scream matches or punching involved.

"Good luck," Nathan shakes his head, "Brooke isn't done with you guys, yet." I watch with wide eyes as he returns up to the second level to check on Jamie and the others. There's a lump in my throat that I can't swallow.

What started out as an argument over the presence of Julian in our lives has since morphed into a revelation about the lack of presence of Lucas and me in everyone else's lives.

_**

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Still Peyton's POV**_

Three loud knocks on the front door. I expected more than three, as well as shouting and maybe an explicative or two. I inhale deeply and hold my breath for whatever is going to come rushing out at me. Before I have a chance to open the door fully, Brooke shoves through in search for Lucas. Julian walks slowly behind her and we catch each others' eye. _Danger; Caution ahead_ seems to sum up his expression. I still don't understand why Julian is still around and sticking by Brooke. If only I could ask him why he's still here, but another argument is ensuing.

"Tell me why. Tell me why, Lucas. Why the hell have you been acting like a complete asshole to your godson?" Brooke shouts from the kitchen. Julian and I take our places next to the people we are standing by tonight: me next to Luke and him next to Brooke. It doesn't escape me that I used to be the one that Brooke would turn to whenever she needed support. Support…that word keeps coming up a lot in my head, doesn't it?

"I think you're getting overly dramatic about all of it," Lucas claims with forced calm. The sight of Julian, as well as Brooke's accusation that he's been a complete asshole, is not sitting well with him. I won't be surprised if he suddenly decks Julian again, however uncalled for that might be. As evidenced by earlier tonight, Lucas doesn't wait for someone to physically throw the first punch anymore.

"Overly dramatic? The hell it's overly dramatic."

"I know I made some mistakes, Brooke, but that doesn't mean they're unfixable," Lucas asserts.

"They're not just mistakes Lucas. You're _mistakes_ have repercussions and those repercussions involve other lives and other people's emotions. Do you even understand the severity of everything that has happened?" Brooke asks.

"Why do you think we even went back to Haley's? He wanted to try to understand what happened in the first place and to fix all of it," I put my two cents in. I can understand why Brooke is furious, but maybe she is taking it a bit far.

"I'll talk to him and he'll understand that none of this was intentional and we will get past this," Lucas adds to my comment. I can tell that he doesn't want to believe that his bond with Jamie has severed after tonight. He's hoping that Jamie's heart is big enough to forgive before the week is over.

"He is not just going to get over it after one measly conversation. He's your godson who for some reason still adores you despite the fact that he's scared by what you did and what happened to you. You can't fix that with one apology or one conversation," Brooke shouts.

"It was two months, Brooke and we feel so horrible about it. But, what could have happened that he would be scarred for life after two months?" I ask.

"It was more than two months, Peyton!"

"You were gone for four years of his life. _Four years. _And you're going to say that me not being totally around for a few months is worse than that?" Lucas retorts.

"And I regret not being around, Lucas, I really do. That little boy is amazing and deserved so much more from me. But there's a difference, there's a huge ass difference between both of our absences."

"What difference, besides the fact that you _haven't _been around in his life longer than you _have _been? You've only been around for, what, a year?"

Lucas' statement stabs Brooke hard and she looks like a deer in headlights; she doesn't know what to say. She obviously didn't think about her short presence here in that way – that she had been away longer than she had been around.

I wanted to yell at Lucas for bringing that horrible fact up, especially since the same statement applies to me. But, for me it's worse because I haven't made nearly as big an effort to becoming close to Jamie as Brooke has. But neither Brooke nor Luke realizes that fact because they're only focusing on defending their own absences.

"I've been here for two months, and even I can see there's a difference, Luke," Julian suddenly pipes in. My brow rises in his direction. How can he understand anything going on?

"Why the hell do you keep butting in when nobody asks you to?" Lucas snaps back.

"Brooke asked me to; why do you think I'm still standing here?" Julian points out like it's as plainly obvious as the fact that the sky is blue. "Do you think I'm here because I like to watch you suffer? Or because I'm waiting for the perfect time to swoop in and grab Peyton from you? The world doesn't revolve around you, Lucas," his sarcasm surprises me. His _words_ surprise me. He confirms that he's not still in Tree Hill for me or Lucas. And he also confirms his involvement in all of this: it's all for Brooke.

When the hell did Julian become a rock for Brooke? I notice Brooke's face – she is shocked as well, but not nearly as shocked as I am. It's as if she was hoping he would do this –he would be there for her. And to her astonishment, he steps up, just like he said he would. And to my surprise, she's letting him be there for her. This guy that she claimed she would stay away from, she's accepting his crutch for her to lean on.

"Alright, smart ass. You think you've been here long enough to know us? Then what the hell is the difference?" Lucas asks Julian with crossed arms.

"The difference is that you're the selfish bastard who can't see straight," Julian retorts. "And the other difference is that Brooke and Jamie never knew each other when Brooke was away. How the hell can Jamie believe that Brooke forgot about him when he didn't know her yet?"

And like a knight in shining armor, Julian unexpectedly steps up for Brooke and gives her the extra courage and push she needs to continue with this raging argument.

"That is the biggest piece of - " Luke starts, but is quickly interrupted.

"Mine and Jamie's lives weren't intertwined together like yours were during those four years," Brooke adds and takes over the conversation again. "He didn't know who I was and I didn't know who he was. We didn't develop a bond, yet. How could he hurt when he had no idea what to feel for me, yet?"

"That still doesn't -" Lucas tries to argue.

"I'm not finished," Brooke interrupts Lucas, "Jamie grew up expecting you to be there for him and expecting you to come at just the right moment to cheer him up. But you're not around; you're still in the same freakin' town and you're not around."

"Just because you don't see him with me doesn't me that I don't spend time with him."

"It doesn't matter whether I see you two together or not; what matters is the truth, the truth that comes from that little boy's mouth. The fact is that you don't spend enough time with him," her voice is stronger and louder now and her anger is returning. "The fact is that you seriously have not been around, Lucas!"

"Where the hell were you after the nanny from hell threatened his grandfather's and his mother's life? Where were you that you couldn't stop by and tell him how happy you are that he and Haley are ok? Where were you that you couldn't even just hang out with him like you used to so that he could forget about running through a stupid cornfield?" with every question Brooke asks, her voice escalates and the anger is visibly rising.

There's no way this is just about Jamie anymore. She's breaking again and I'm not the only one who notices it. Julian's brows furrow with worry as he restrains himself from calming Brooke down. He knows that she has to do this. Lucas' eyes narrow too, but not with worry. They narrow with anger and guilt. Just like me, Lucas' heart feels guiltier and guiltier with every accusing "Where were you" question Brooke heaves our way. Tears swell up in my eyes and hers, but both of us refuse to permit them freedom onto our cheeks.

"Where the hell were you, Lucas? Where the hell were both of you?" Brooke shouts.

"Brooke, is this even about Jamie anymore?" I ask with a concerned tone, attempting to reach out to her. I know it probably won't do any good, but I have to try something.

"Wow, Peyton, I almost forgot you were here," her snide comment about my silence in all of this hits me like a ton of bricks, reminding me of Jamie's comment earlier in the evening.

"Now that is out of line," Lucas snaps when he notices my dear in the headlights look. That look seems to be contagious.

"Is it, Lucas? Is it really? Why don't you tell that to Jamie next time you see him?"

"What the hell did we do wrong, Brooke? All of this just can't be from the fact that, according to you, we weren't around the past few months," Lucas screams at her. Frustration eats away at him because, like me, he refuses to accept that we are the only reason behind the pain. And, if it is the only reason, she should have known to talk about it with us.

"You _weren't_ around Lucas! How many times do I have to spell every damn thing out for you?" Brooke yells back. She turns to me, "You're right, Peyton. This isn't just about Jamie. It's about how you guys have spent virtually no time with any of us. I get that you two are happy and in love and it's been a long time coming and all that washed up, fate, destiny, mushy ass shit that comes with being in love again. But that is no excuse for ignoring what's happening in the rest of everyone else's lives, especially when lives are at stake."

"You never said anything, Brooke. You said you were fine. Why are you blaming us for not being around when you didn't ask for help?" I retaliate even though I know she's touched on the subject already. I can't help but ask the idiotic question again because I'm trying to wash away the pounds of guilt…guilt from believing that all the pain she is undergoing…all the craziness that everyone is undergoing… that all of it is purely because of the fact that Lucas and I weren't around. God, I hate this feeling. There had to be some other reason for why everything got so effed up.

"Oh my god! What the hell happened to the two of you? No, you know what, better question. Why the hell am I still standing here trying to talk sense into two people who obviously don't give a damn?" Brooke screams at me.

"Of course we give a damn, Brooke. You just haven't given us a chance to let us in," I retort with my own scream.

"No. Stop it. Stop blaming every fuckin thing on me!" her voice screeches in our ears. Lucas and I flinch at her lashing accusation. "Stop believing and acting like the lack of communication has all been _my _fault. Stop believing that you wouldn't have done anything wrong if it wasn't for me. That's you're problem, Peyton. Actually, both of you have the same problem. You don't realize it, but every problem that happens in this world, you somehow twist it around so that you're the fuckin victim, even if it was your fault to begin with." Her eerily familiar words strike another humongous blow to my heart. Were we the villains this whole time? My own definition of the word villain haunts me as Brooke continues with her rant.

"You know what? Maybe we should end this right now so I don't have to count on you two for anything anymore, so that I don't have to waste my time. I can just count on the two of you to be selfish idiots instead."

"What are you saying, Brooke?" Lucas asks warily. In a short twenty seconds, Brooke goes from pissed off out of her pants to…well…I don't know what. I just know that it scares me. Her words, her expressions, her eyes, it all scares me. The prospect of losing my best friend – that terrifies me more than anything.

"I'm saying…" she calms herself down, as much as she can anyway. "I think we need to take a break from being friends – or, _I_ need to take a break from being _your_ friend," she explains.

"Ok, Brooke, maybe you should think about what you're saying," I advise. This can't be happening again. "You don't have to pull out the Rachel Greene card on us."

"This is not something to joke about, Peyton," she glares at me. Of course it's not a joke. I'm not laughing, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell it is you are doing, Brooke.

"I'm not joking; I'm just trying to understand what you're doing," I voice my thoughts aloud; "You want pull the plug on our friendship, _again, _because, in your words, we were - or are - selfish idiots?" I stress the word 'again,' bringing up the rocky past from senior year of high school.

"I do not want to throw away a lifelong friendship!" Brooke defends whatever kind of friendship we have left. I realize that I underestimated the strength of our friendship since she wants to 'take a break' from it. But, the truly frightening thing is how much I underestimated just how intensely Lucas and I hurt her.

"That is the last thing I want. You don't think that senior year didn't hurt me because I was the one that pulled the plug on our friendship? I don't want any of us to go through that hell, but this…this right now hurts too, Peyton," she explains to me. It hurts her to be friends with us? Tears are threatening to escape my ducts again as I think of the pain we must have caused for her to come to such a conclusion.

"If you don't want to end anything then what are you saying?" Lucas asks for me. He is just as confused as I am about this sudden move and decision on Brooke's part.

"I am saying that_ I_ need to take a break from being the one to make most of the effort in this relationship. But, if in the near future, if our friendship does indeed cross the finish line, it will probably be because of the two of you." She is starting to lose her calm again, but instead of verging on the depths of fury, she's holding herself back from falling into a sea of teary melancholy.

"Because of us? You're the one claiming to need a break from this friendship and if we do end up back in senior year, it's because of us?" I manage to choke out, surprisingly still holding my tears at bay.

"You've been through what I am going through right now, Peyton. What I've been going through ever since the night of your engagement. And you only spent one night with me. _One night_! One night of fire place chit chat and baking a batch of cookies is not going to heal me! You never even tried to talk about it with me again after that." The imprisoned droplets escape from their cell and one at a time, they drip slowly down our cheeks.

"You never even saw me till a couple days after I told Peyton about it, Luke!" Brooke's cracked voice continues as she turns to Lucas. Lucas: the compassionate guy that showed up at the airport after she gave back Angie, even though she didn't ask him to. But, the same guy didn't bother to be there for Brooke after she was attacked…because of me. I don't have to look at Lucas to know that his throat had a lump the size of a freaking fist. Guilt and pain suffocates him.

And I don't have to look at Julian to know that he feels awkward listening to all of this, partly because he has no idea about the attack. And he's not just witnessing another one of Brooke's breakdowns. He's listening to our tower of friendship crack and watching it collapse on itself. But at the same time, he won't leave because he knows Brooke needs him here. I don't think she'd be able to say all of this if she didn't believe that someone is here by her side. God knows she doesn't think Lucas and I will be by her side anytime soon.

"After the both of you found out, you guys didn't even bother to ask me how I was getting through everything. You didn't even ask if I wanted to talk about it! Do you know what that feels like from my end?" her raspy voice is literally sucking the life out of mine and Lucas' voices. "The fuckin healing process is taking a hell of a lot longer than I wanted it to because you two weren't there. You two are my best friends. That's supposed to mean something!" she repeats some familiar words.

"We know that, Brooke – " I croak out in between tears, but she's not going to let me try to escape the guilt with words anytime soon because she is still nowhere near done.

"Then where were the two of you?" she screams and then focuses on me, "And where was your head, Peyton? I have been there for you for _fifteen years_. And when I needed you…and I mean _really_ needed you, you were supposed to be there. You were supposed to _know_ to talk to me. Even though I didn't say anything, you were just supposed to know that I needed you around for more than one night...more than one day. And because you didn't know, because you didn't reach out later…it made me feel like you didn't care, like what happened to me didn't matter to you." Her voice is barely audible through her sobs. My heart wrenches in a way I never thought possible, the guilt eats away at it like a silent and deadly virus.

"Brooke, of course it all mattered. You, everything, it always mattered. I just didn't want to push you -" I try to defend myself, but I can't finish whatever thought I have in my mind.

"But, you're _supposed_ to push me, Peyton. You're supposed to get me to talk through my feelings. You're supposed to _want_ to listen! But you just…you - " she wipes away the watery tears that accumulated all over her face and she swallows hard – swallows the sobs and pain away. She glances at Julian and he makes one step towards her, one step that seems to be enough for her to continue.

"…But every time our conversations would get serious, you would come up with some other topic and just swim off to your private Peyton Sawyer island consisting of nothing but Lucas and broody music. And you would leave me stranded in the middle of the fuckin ocean without anything to keep me afloat. Just like senior year," she finishes.

During the second part of her entire heart felt monologue type confession, the four of us now find ourselves sitting in various places around the kitchen, a chair here, a stool there, the table even. I don't know when or how that happened, but it doesn't matter. My eyes are looking through its teary fog and my vocal chords are wrapped in chains as I continue to listen to Brooke's strained voice.

"Senior year?" Lucas whispers. I have the same question – when did we leave her alone senior year? If anything, she left us, didn't she?

"I needed time to _grieve_ over us, to accept the fact that we didn't have a future together. You didn't let me grieve, Lucas. I never got a chance to grieve over our break up because everybody wanted so desperately for all of us to be friends again. _You _wanted to be friends so quickly, like we could just ignore everything that was between us."

"_And_ then you suddenly get together with Peyton. _You made me believe you were in love with me…_but a month after I ended things you declared your love for my best friend. You shoved me aside like I was _nothing_. You made me feel like I was _nothing_, like what we shared meant nothing to you."

"One month. And neither of you came to have a serious discussion about it with me. The three of us avoided each other like the plague. I was left alone…alone and with Rachel. Who, now I am thankful for, but at the time…god, at the time I thought I was in hell…I was in a place without my best friends and living with my enemy." Brooke cries; her tears return, sliding down her face as if to escape all the hurt that is resurfacing and piercing through her.

Her hoarse voice scratches away at my heart and a dark heavy shroud of guilt encompasses both me and Lucas. Neither of us thought about it like that before. Neither of us thought she was still hurting when we first got back together after the Championship game. I thought it was jealousy or the slight pain of letting go of Lucas too soon, but, obviously it wasn't – it was something deeper. I never thought that Lucas and I could cause that much pain in one person just by being together. And I don't think Brooke thought we could cause her that much pain all over again.

As Brooke takes a breath, I watch Julian approach her. He grabs her hand and squeezes it in reassurance. He's still here to give her strength.

"But I'm over it now," Brooke continues, "I've been over it because in the end I believed that your friendships were more important than stupid love triangles. I got over it all just so I could still have you two in my life. And what the hell happens…Again, you couldn't see what was staring you right in the face. So, like every time before, I put my 'Brooke is fine' smile on so that we could all go on with our lives. So that you two could have the fuckin wedding of your dreams."

More remnants of Brooke's anger are expelled when she kicks the foot of the table and smashes her fist down on top after her heart felt solo confession. Lucas' arms are crossed and one hand covers the lower half of his face as he suppresses a few tears. Julian and I…well, we're both staring at Brooke with disquiet worry. Only, guilt resides within me, and not in him.

"God, Brooke, I didn't want this for us," I cry, breaking the quiet atmosphere. "And I know this doesn't mean much to you right now, but…Brooke, you matter. Ok? So whatever is going on, you can just tell me. You don't have to wait for me to say something. Just tell me," I finish, but she remains silent. Her eyes don't even leave the floor.

"Brooke, come on, don't do this. You have to know that I am sorry," I try to elicit a response from her, "I never would be where I am right now if it wasn't for you."

Her hazel orbs finally shift to my direction, "That's funny, because I wouldn't be where I am right now, if it wasn't for you."

"Brooke, god, we are so sorry…just…just tell us how to fix this," Lucas asks as he takes a couple of steps closer to Brooke. I've never seen him this ripped apart before. He looks even more destroyed than he was when Lindsay ran out of the church on him. I didn't think it was possible, but he looks almost as hurt as he was when I said "someday."

"No. Stop it," Brooke whispers with exhaustion, "I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of having to come up with all the answers, all the damn time," she walks backwards away from me and Luke, closer to Julian.

"Brooke, please, I'm sorry, ok? I am so sorry. I can be here for you, just let me in." Despite my plea, I know that my words are useless right now. I can't prove anything to her by crying, I have to be there for her even after this craziness of a night. I have to prove to her that I can be there for her and that she matters to me.

"I'm sorry, Peyton, but I can't continue down this one way road of friendship…I need to pull over, for a little bit…I'm not cutting you out; I promise," she whispers and tries to assure me as she starts to walk away. She says something to Julian and he nods his head and places a protective arm over her shoulders.

You know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out because someone betrayed you? Well…how about when you betrayed them. What does it feel like to have guilt rip your heart out?

"Brooke?" I beg one more time, but she doesn't stop or turn around. She and Julian continue out the door, out of the house, and I'm praying…she's not walking out of our lives.

I bury my head in my hands once more. I feel Lucas' hand on my shoulder and I look up into his eyes. We don't know how to fix this. We should be happy about our marriage right now. We should be in newlywed bliss. But all we can feel is guilt...guilt for being ignorant, guilt for being selfish, guilt for basically creating our own separate world and not allowing anyone else in and not letting ourselves out. And what's worse...what's so much worse...is that the pain we feel...Brooke had that pain inside of her this whole time and we didn't see it.

Two weeks ago everyone seemed happy, content, complacent even. Two weeks…a few hours…twenty minutes…time doesn't matter anymore because everything has changed.

"_And it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you realize** how wrong you've been**__, that you realize how much you really need it, how much you love it..." – Nathan Scott (3.20)_

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A/N:** So, everything Brooke revealed and said…that's basically how I have interpreted her character and everything she's been through. Obviously, this "separation" between Leyton and Brooke will cause friction. And because of it, hopefully this will be the push Lucas needs to start to change back to the guy he used to be.

Hopefully they'll work it all out, not just with Brooke, but Jamie/Naley, too…and in time, the comedy in my story will slowly ease in again.

And this chapter was lacking some Julian, Chris, and Naley …but don't worry, they'll be back in full force in the next chapter. I needed this chapter to only be about Brooke, Lucas, and Peyton.

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Mucho mucho **Thank You Kudos** to these amazing people: Iz-Belle91, LuluMcPhee, p0line, miralinda, ParadiseLost23, bella, brulian equals forbidden love, jess, TeamSophia, Idon'tknowyet, gigglingismylife, andrea, nicfanz, plasticlittleplastic, PeterClaire, Brucas Equals Love, Maiqu, Jane, ok, flipflopgal, Midnightwitch33, GodessSiri, BrathanBrucasBaleyBreyton, CheeryBroody83, cutiekesi, powerof3halliwells, greysluver13, chameron-brucas4eva, princetongirl, blair brightmore, xcgirl3, CoffeeWithCinnamon, SV, and sunshine

chameron-brucas4eva and SV: I hope Peyton's POV helped you get to know what's going on in her mind. And chameron, I know in the show she's usually more vocal, but hopefully I explained why she wasn't as vocal earlier.

gigglingismylife, blair brightmore, CoffeWithCinnamon: Thank you for the amazing compliments about this being better than the show and the insights on the last chapter. And I too will be disappointed if OTH does botch and eff everything up when the show returns.

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And thank you amazing readers for keeping up with and supporting this story :)

Feel free to voice your thoughts on this chapter and look out for chappie eleven soon!

Shameless Plug: If you're looking for some laughs, check out my one shot, Jingle Bells, Lucas Smells :)


	11. The Morning After Call

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

by: SamiJane

**Disclaimer**: See Author's Bio

**A/N: Thank You** everyone for your kind words and patience!! With a lot of waiting, patience, praying, and medical help, my family is going to be better. I was really scared for a while, but now I'm happy things are calming down. Thank you to Alex for posting my A/N a couple weeks ago.

Huge thank you's for the reviews for Chapter Ten. I appreciate them so much and am happy at the reception of the last chapter and everything Brooke said. I'll start up shout outs again in the next chapter.

As for this chapter, it's mostly just a filler chapter – people's thoughts the morning after. Some of it is a recap of everything, so sorry if that drags on. Chapter 12 will have more stuff, promise.

Also, the four scenes after Brooke's POV are supposed to flow like an OTH episode – someone asks a question at the end of one scene, and then in the next scene, another character answers the question. You'll see what I mean when you read it.

So, enough rambling; here is chapter eleven and I hope all you wonderful readers enjoy this! And I hope each of you enjoy the New Year with your loved ones!

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Chapter 11: The Morning After Call**

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Brooke's POV**__; Brooke's house_

I welcome the steam and the droplets. I welcome the swirls of water that swish between my perfectly manicured toes; I breathe deeply and welcome it all.

After a long and poignant night involving a number of emotional surprises, both good and not so good, I allow all the characteristics of a soothing shower to envelop my senses. Rather than focus on the possible stresses of the upcoming day, or week even, I focus on the water cascading gently down my back, like a personal, miniature waterfall. But waterfalls only last so long and in a few minutes, my porcelain skin will start to prune and wrinkle if I don't step out of my steamy sanctuary soon.

My hazel eyes stare at the girl gazing back at me through the silver glass. Physically, it's still me, 5'4" auburn haired Brooke Davis. But inside…inside is a Brooke Davis that I'm not quite sure I know completely anymore. Maybe it's because the scared, vulnerable part of me that inhabited Tree Hill the past couple months is phasing away.

"_Maybe you can blend the two Brooke's together and have really awesome Brooke,"_ Nathan's words from yesterday morning echo in my mind. God, I hope that's true. I hope that through all of this, I will come out stronger, and in Nathan's words, "really awesome."

Peyton, Lucas, and I have had our share of ups, downs, and our own versions of hell. But last night…oh god, last night really took the cake. I didn't expect all of those words to come tumbling out of my mouth. I didn't expect all the emotions to flood from my being and crash onto a shore of declaration – a declaration to take a break from one fifteen year and one six year friendship.

To say that I don't feel guilty for anything I said or did last night would be a lie. Of course I feel guilty. Peyton and Lucas are two of my best friends, two of my oldest friends. But I can't regret what I said; I _don't_ regret what I said. Maybe I would take back an explicative or two, but that's about it.

All the emotions that I had bottled up inside, they were bound to burst out sooner or later. And now that the cap has been snapped off, my heart feels like it's been saved from being inexplicably squashed from a ten ton weight. This morning feels weird. It's not often that relief and guilt are coupled together at the same time. Damn, I really didn't expect last night to happen the way it did. And I sure as hell didn't expect Julian to be…well…I didn't expect him to be there.

All of his words, every minute of last night ticks and tocks its way back into my mind, reeling me into my brain's own montage version of what occurred after Lucas idiotically punched him on Naley's front yard.

"_You have to turn around and go back."_

"_I do know that you're scared…I also know what happens when you keep everything locked away inside of you. You don't want that, Brooke."_

"…_None of it was your fault."_

"_Just because we bust each other's chops 24/7 doesn't mean I haven't been paying attention."_

"_We can make up a code word, or a signal, whatever. And I'll jump in right then and there."_

"_I've only been here two months, and even I can see there's a difference, Lucas."_

"_Brooke asked me to; why do you think I'm still standing here?"_

A different Julian Baker made himself known last night and I was shocked to be on the receiving end of his care and concern. Not only because it's Julian – snarky, sometimes arrogant, pokes fun at my lack of video games skills Julian – it's because I've had few people stand up for me before. I'm used to doing things on my own, standing up for myself alone, and looking out for myself…alone. And then Julian stepped up, like a gallant gentleman who knew just what to say and knew just when to intervene.

Talk about major-ly surprising.

As I stare back at my now fully dressed self, I brush my short hair and smirk as the end of last night replays in my mind. Even after witnessing the Peyton-Brooke fortress of friendship crack and nearly fall over, Julian still wasn't afraid or uncomfortable to be there for me like a friend should.

"_I can play guard dog on your couch tonight, if you want. Well, not really guard dog…but you know, company or whatever," he suggested after a quiet drive back to his hotel. I chuckled with a shake of my head and just asked to give him a thank you hug. _

The hug was a brief, one armed sort of thing. But it was ok. We were in a car; the hug was going to be somewhat awkward.

Not to mention, I'm just now figuring out how I feel about having a close relationship with Julian. Technically, our "business and nothing else" contract had officially been broken since our first breakfast together – the breakfast after the notorious water fight.

I've been fine with that. Our sort of like/dislike friendship thing the past couple weeks has been entertaining. But this past week, my heart and head have also been arguing with each other.

"Stupid Jack; stupid Julian," seems to ring a bell.

"_You'll be fine. You're Brooke Davis," Julian smirked before he exited my car. _

Damn it, Julian, you really know how to reel a girl further in, don't you?

My hazel orbs are now locked onto the producer's name and number staring brightly back at me via my cell phone. Should I or shouldn't I? Should I? I shake my head; I shouldn't.

"_One conversation doesn't change anything." _

Those were my words. Those _are_ my words. But even though one conversation doesn't change anything, sometimes one night can. The Peyton and Lucas fiasco is a prime example of that fact.

A few thumb clicks downward and if I want to, I will hear Haley's voice on the phone. A few seconds of swift dialing and I can here Tutor Mom's soothing words of support. A few seconds of swift dialing and I can here Nathan's words of encouragement…if I want to. I could even hear Mouth's voice, or Millie's, Deb's, or even Rachel's voice if I want to. If I want to…

My eyelids close, my lungs swell and hold in a deep breath, and my thumb chooses one name from my unreasonably long and extensive phone number list. My cochlea listens intently…one agonizingly long ring…a second ring…a third…

"Brooke?"

_**

* * *

Lucas' POV**__; Leyton house_

The house is eerily quiet…too quiet, quite possibly because Brooke's booming voice scared the hell out of everything in the stupid house and my stupid heart. I sigh as I hear Peyton stir from the bedroom. I imagine her reaching out for me, expecting to feel warmth rather than a haphazard mess of the wrinkled sheets left behind a mere half hour ago.

"Lucas?" I hear her shout out; I don't answer, but merely look at the kitchen clock. 8:28 a.m.; it's been only six hours…or rather six hours and forty some minutes since the shocking last act of Brooke's emotional outpour. Six hours…really? It feels more like six minutes because the shock still resides within. Peyton's chords call out my name once more and I know I have to say something or else she'll think I'm avoiding her and closing myself up.

"Kitchen," I reply, the exhaustion evident in the strain and hoarseness of my voice. Whoever commented that sleep is a chance to escape reality for a few hours is dead wrong. Even my subconscious wanted to strap me down to the spears of hurt and hopelessness I had been feeling since Brooke walked out the front door.

I lean on the table and rest my head on upset, balled fists. God, what is supposed to happen now? Maybe I should call Brooke and apologize once more. Or maybe I should ask Nathan and Haley for their opinions. They probably already know what happened by now. They've probably known how Brooke has felt for a while, hence their standing up for Brooke last night, standing up for Brooke _and_ Julian. Julian. Damn it. He's like an annoying rash that won't go away.

I stare blankly at the cell phone resting innocently on the counter; I have to talk to someone, Haley specifically. She's the one I have been running to for answers since we were eight. But, I shouldn't ask her what to do, because I know she's not going to give me a simple answer. Besides, I have to figure it out for myself. That's what she would tell me anyway - the whole "Think about it, Luke," "Look in your heart," kind of thing.

Ok, heart…what the hell do you think…or want to do? I release a deep breath and stretch as I think it all over. My eyes casually land on a picture sitting on the mantle across the room, a picture of me, Brooke, and Jamie, godparents and godson. God, Jamie. There's that to deal with, too. When did I screw everything up? I sigh as my eyes focus on Brooke's dimpled, glowing smile.

The corner of my eye catches Peyton as she enters the kitchen; she looks just as messed up as I feel. She sighs sympathetically, "What are you doing awake already?"

_**

* * *

Haley's POV**__; Naley house_

"Couldn't sleep," I drowsily reply to Nathan as he enters the kitchen. If I wasn't so tired, my heart would flutter crazily out of my chest at the sight of my shirtless husband. God, he's hot.

Shaking my head into reality, I slowly ingest the warmth of tea into my system, hoping to find a sense of serenity. After everything that happened last night with Jamie, Brooke, Julian, Lucas, and Peyton, my head found it hard to drift off into dream world last night. So, after hours of tossing and turning, I finally decided to get up and begin the day earlier than I intended to.

"Keller's snoring?" Nathan asks me as he opts for black coffee rather than the chamomile goodness I am consuming. Keller's snoring…I wish that was the reason for why I'm awake early this somewhat fine morning. Oh Chris Keller…Only for Brooke and Jamie would Nathan and I allow the likes of Chris Keller to sleep in our guest bedroom.

"His snoring was peaceful compared to all the thoughts running through my mind last night," I answer in a defeated tone. I sigh as my eyes rest on the silent phone. The one time that a sound, peaceful sleep escapes me, the piercing ring of a phone, cell or "tele," fails to interrupt the night.

Last night, I thought that at least Lucas would call and try to apologize again. And I hoped that Brooke would call as well; but there was nothing all night and so far, all morning. Granted, the morning just started.

"Yeah; I know what you mean," Nathan concurs as he takes a seat next to me. My fingers rhythmically tap on the counter as I try my best to contain myself from calling Lucas or Brooke. I know that they have to contact us on their own terms and time. Ugh. I hate waiting.

I relax into my husband's stretched out arm that rests around my shoulders. With a few words, Nathan tries to reassure me that our friends will be able to work everything out somehow. I want so badly to believe him.

"It's just…" I pause as I try not to be disloyal to either Brooke or Lucas. "There's Brooke on one side," I think out loud with a motion of my hands, "and then Lucas on the other side. And, well basically, I'm –"

_**

* * *

Julian's POV**__; a hotel_

"'Torn'," I answer over the phone, "'Torn' by what's their face -" I tap my index finger continuously on my temple, as if the motion would assist my memory. "Ednaswap," I announce with an enthusiastic snap of my fingers. Good song actually, even before it was pop-ified back in '97.

Brooke had called me ten minutes earlier, asking for a distraction from the quiet of the early morning and the vague whispers of an emotional aftermath. Lying half naked in my hotel bed, I don't hesitate to be the friend, or in this case the diversion, that Brooke needs at the moment. Part of the reason is because I want to know why she decided to call _me_ first thing in the morning.

Even though I didn't want to be _that guy_ when I first arrived in Tree Hill, I can no longer avoid being that guy now. I was the one who got the ball rolling on this thing in the first place; I was the one that told her to turn around. I can't just walk away now. Although, it kind of sucks that it all ended the way it did. Well, it doesn't suck for me, but for Brooke…yeah, for Brooke it sort of sucks. I know what it's like to "take a break" from a friendship.

"I thought 'Torn' was by the Australian girl…Natalie Imbruglia?" Brooke asks me from her end of the line. How we started talking about music escapes me at the moment. But the topic is doing its job; it's distracting her from the craziness of last night.

"Ednaswap; look it up," I correct Brooke as I stretch out of the comfortable queen sized bed. It's a good thing it's Saturday; it would suck to go into the office and work with Lucas.

"And _that_ is a song on your life's soundtrack?" Brooke asks, somewhat amused. I imagine her giving me her signature raised eyebrow, dimpled smirk. Hmmm, I wonder how many of those I've gotten in the past week alone.

"That's one of the songs, one of the depressing ones, but 'Sexy Back' is on the J Baker soundtrack too; so it all evens out," I playfully remark.

"Sorry to break it to you, Jack, but I was at 'Sexy' long before you were," my ear listens to her claim as my lips upturn into an amused grin. I don't doubt that for a second.

"Are you admitting you're the 'dirty babe' in my song, Davis?" I tease.

"Are you admitting you're my 'shackled slave,' Baker?" Brooke retorts with the same amount of playful repartee.

"Do you want me to be?" I ask with a low, seducing tone.

"Eww; please don't tell me you like a good ass whipping, Jack," she laughs. I want to laugh, too, but I restrain myself as I continue the banter.

"Depends on who's holding the whip, Penny D," I nonchalantly respond with a grin. I hear her laugh and mumble another "Eww gross!" at my comment.

Her laughing alone tells me that despite everything that happened, Brooke Davis is going to be ok. It might take some time, a lot or a little is up to her; but, she'll be ok.

"Ok can we please change the topic back to what it was five minutes ago?" Brooke requests. Even though we're communicating via cell phone, I can hear her smile. "What songs do you think someone would find on the lovely B Davis soundtrack?" she asks, "aside from JT's promiscuous single, of course."

What songs? Hmm, she set herself up for this one now.

_**

* * *

Lucas' POV**__; Leyton house_

"Colorblind," Peyton repeats the title of the Counting Crows song playing on the radio, "eerily appropriate."

"I didn't even notice," I deadpan as I realize the lyrics could basically describe how Brooke has been feeling the past few months. I continue to trace invisible circles on the surface of the counter top as I think some more about the best time to talk to Brooke. Maybe I should wait till tomorrow; we all could use a day off from everything.

"We should probably do some unpacking today. Maybe it will help us relax a little bit," Peyton suggests into empty, thin air.

"Yeah, maybe," I blankly agree. I probably should put more effort into this conversation, but my mind is running amok.

Peyton and I have just sort of finished discussing what happened last night. I say "sort of" because I know none of this is going to be finished for a while. One conclusion we both agree upon is that we each need to talk to Brooke one on one – that is, once she lets us. And one conclusion I come up with is that I've been an asshole. I have Brooke, Sam, and last night's dreams, to thank for pointing that out to me.

As I think about what I could possibly say to Brooke to make some of this turn out ok, Peyton's last few words from our discussion continue to ring in my head.

"_Life's too short to live it as a bad person," she quotes herself from junior year of high school, "How did we forget that?"_

If I knew the answer to that question, I don't think we'd be sitting in uncomfortable, upsetting silence right now.

"I tried calling Haley and Nathan," Peyton tries to break the silence again, "They wouldn't pick up."

"I don't blame them," I reply as I play with my cell phone now. My feared assumptions about Haley and Nathan not wanting anything to do with us are now ringing true by the sheer fact that they won't answer Peyton's calls. I don't even want anything to do with us right now. I stare up again at the picture of me and Brooke hugging Jamie.

"Are you thinking about calling Brooke?" Peyton reads my mind. She knows me too well. She's also trying to break me out of my silent reverie again. And again, I don't answer her. I don't have to, because she already knows what I'm thinking.

_**

* * *

Sam's POV**__; Naley home_

"Maybe," Chris answers me as we quietly check on Jamie. I wonder what time the little shorty is going to wake up. "If I can nuke them in the microwave, then yes," Chris finishes his answer. I grin and roll my eyes at his reply about whether or not he knows how to make scrambled eggs.

About five minutes ago, we both figured we should try to make breakfast for Nathan, Haley, and Brooke – for when she comes to pick us up. Chris and I both witnessed portions of last night and boy do we feel bad for everything that happened. And I feel horrible for allowing Jamie to watch that craziness with me. Poor little kid has enough going on in his life, I feel like I just made things worse.

"How about pancakes?" I ask Chris as we head down the stairs; Chris merely shakes his head. His hair looks hilarious without any gel running through it. I go through the list of possible breakfast foods and meals in my head once more. He said 'No,' to all of them. What the hell kind of adult is Chris Keller? Even _I_ knew how to cook pancakes.

"Cereal?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. He _had_ to have put cereal and milk in a bowl before. I watch as he thinks seriously about his answer.

"Depends on the cereal," he answers casually.

"Boiled water?" I deadpan in disbelief as we enter the kitchen. I notice Haley and Nathan abruptly end their conversation about Brooke and Lucas.

Oh yeah! Brooke and Lucas! I caught that part – the whole exes thing. I have to remember to ask Brooke about when the hell she and Lucas were together, and when Peyton and Nathan were together. Hearing all of that sure made me stumble backwards last night, especially when Jamie asked me what it all meant. Luckily for me, at that point, Chris walked in and distracted Jamie for a little bit. But it wasn't long enough, because we all caught the end of the argument – Lucas punching Julian.

"Yes…wait…," Chris thinks about whether or not he can do the mundane, simple task of boiling water. "I can make Eggos," he comes to the conclusion that that's the only breakfast food he knows how to successfully make.

"Toaster waffles?" I laugh as I accept a newly poured cup of orange juice from Haley. Well, this is weird – sleeping over a teacher's house and eating breakfast with her family. Talk about a first for _any_ student.

"They're called Eggos and they're the breakfast of champions," Chris attempts to make the toaster waffles sound cool and worth making for breakfast. Haley and I simultaneously roll our eyes. She whispers to me something about how she regrets introducing Chris to Eggos when they were on tour together.

"Wheaties are the breakfast of champions, Keller," Nathan corrects Chris from his seat.

"Athletes have Wheaties. Rock stars have Eggos," Chris informs the three of us as he scans through Nathan and Haley's refrigerator. Well, since he has the fridge, I might as well look through the pantry.

"Do rock stars and teenagers normally wake up before 9am on a Saturday morning?" Haley inquires, trying to figure out why the two of us are awake before noon on a weekend.

"Yeah, what are you two doing?" Nathan questions with a raised brow as Chris takes out random items from the fridge. Meanwhile, I come up with a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.

"Making some breakfast. Dude, your fridge is so much more loaded than the one on my tour bus!" Chris exclaims when he finds three boxes of Eggo waffles. His eyes are gleaming like a kid in a candy store. I can't help but grin and roll my eyes once more.

"We said you could sleep for one night, not eat our food," Nathan reprimands as he swipes the boxes of waffles away from Chris.

"Hey, leggo my Eggo!"

As the three of us laugh at Chris, I can't help but think that Brooke should be here. I'm used to laughing with her at Chris and Julian. I hope she's ok.

_**

* * *

Chris' POV**__; Naley kitchen_

"Can I at least have my waffle back before we go into serious talk mode?" I ask Haley after she issues Sam off to go check on Jamie one more time. It's a stupid reason to get the kid to leave, but I'm guessing Hales wants us to have an "adult" conversation about last night. And sure enough, I'm right because she asks me if I caught anything that went on.

"You mean the Spastastic Four?" I ask as I place some waffles in their toaster. Even their toaster is awesome; I can toast four waffles at a time! Wait, maybe if I squish them together, I can toast eight of them at once. But, I can't focus on my waffles for much longer because Hales keeps asking me what I heard.

"Bits and pieces, but Sammi basically filled me in. She felt guilty about letting Jamie spy with her," I accidentally reveal. "Oh shit. Pretend you didn't hear that."

"It's ok, Chris. She told us before she went to bed last night," Nathan tells me as he takes out my eight squished waffles and makes me toast only four at a time. Judging by their calm demeanor to Sam earlier, I'm guessing they've forgiven her already. Or they're waiting for Brooke to come by and give her a good grounding.

"Oh," I reply, a bit relieved that I didn't accidentally spill a secret, "So, what is this about then?"

"You're the closest thing to an objective opinion we have," Haley replies. Objective? What is she talking about? There is no way I can be objective in all of this.

"Uh…I don't know if you missed this Hales, but Julian is my best friend," I say with a slightly condescending tone.

"I know – but I'm talking about what happened between Brooke, Lucas, and Peyton."

Oh…_that_ stuff. Well that…I didn't really think about any of that last night. Hell, I only saw Julian getting punched like a sucker face. But, after what Sammi told me last night...well, I didn't really think about it that much either; because at that time, I just wanted to sleep. I guess I could think about it now…hmmm…crap, I need to think quicker; I really hate it when the married couple glares at me like that.

"Well, I know Goldie a lot better than the couple formerly known as Brucas…" I start to explain, "But, I'm going to have to side with Brookie Cookie on this one." Even back in high school, she complained about Lucas to me. Well, she was drunk as hell, but she still complained that he went with Rachel on the Fantasy Draft Date and he didn't even bother to call her. So, if Lucas still hasn't learned his lesson about how to treat Brooke, then Brooke would be the one to side with at the moment. She didn't deserve any of that crap.

"We're not talking about sides. We're trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation," Nathan sighs. "Cause you know…Brooke's been the one in pain, but Lucas is –"

"A self absorbed –" Sam returns and interrupts Nathan, but she's quickly silenced by Haley's motherly glare. "Sorry; I won't say it a second time," Sam apologizes, "Your kid sleeps like a log."

"Brooke's been hurting, but Lucas is my brother, who now is hurting," Nathan finishes the thought he had before Sam came back. I guess their dilemma is who do they help first? Or maybe, they're wondering if it's bad that they don't want to help Lucas because they think Brooke needs them more? That is a toughie.

Both Nathan and Hales look expectantly at me, as if I have some sort of answer to solve their family dilemma. When the hell did they respect me enough to talk about this kind of stuff with me? Well, I guess it's a good thing for them that Chris Keller got smarter over the years.

"All three are your family; just be there for each of them and help all three as best you can." I shrug the only answer that came to my mind. Although, I guess that doesn't really answer their question, hence their "No, duh," glaring.

Whatever, I answered their question. It's true, they should just help all three of them; they all need their help. I ignore the silence and stares from Nathan and Haley as I douse my waffles in plenty of syrup. But as I bring a piece of waffle to my mouth, my eyes catch Haley's. Damn it, she really wants me to talk more?

"Ok fine," I place my fork onto my plate and give out a more reasonable opinion, "Last I recall, it's still possible to be a good friend, or in this case a good family member, to someone even though you don't agree with their actions or decisions. It's hard to, but it's still possible. And, in this case, you guys obviously support Brooke because you two have been concerned about her for a while now. So don't be afraid to tell that to Lucas and Goldie. "

I watch as both Nathan and Haley contemplate what I just said. Either they haven't thought about it in that way, or they're surprised that I came up with that answer.

"But, don't be afraid to knock about a hundred pounds of sense into Lucas," I add on, my mouth full of delicious waffles. "And if Lucas doesn't totally wise up, then my fist can find its way into his face."

"You lost to Jamie in arm wrestling last night," Sam interjects. Apparently Nathan and Haley didn't know because they're trying their hardest to keep from laughing out loud.

"No, my right arm lost," I correct her, "I still have my left arm. Granted it's a little ganglier, but it'll do the job." I flex my not so existent muscle for Sam and we laugh at the fact that it's kind of non existent. Yeah, maybe I should listen to Julian and go to the gym more often.

"Speaking of Jamie, do you think he understood us last night?" Haley asks her husband.

"He's a smart kid; and it helps you guys aren't stupid parents. He'll be fine," I answer for Nathan. The two look at me in surprise, again; and contemplate my answer, again. And surprise, surprise, Nathan agrees with me. Well, that's a first.

"Actually, Nate, you're not as smart as Hales," I add in after he concurs with me. Oops, I keep doing that – saying my thoughts out loud. Oh well, can't stop now.

"But considering you still have the wife latched onto you, that's gotta mean something. Props to you dude." I hold up my hand for a high five but he just stares at my hand like it's unworthy to be slapped by the great Nathan Scott. Ok, fine, no high five. At least I still have my waffles. And once Julian gets here, he'll slap me some digits.

"Remind me why we decided to be nice to you," Nathan inquires with crossed arms and raised brows.

"Well, that's where the not so smart part comes in," I explain as I continue to eat my breakfast.

"I have to side with him on that one," Sam agrees with me. Yes! A high five from Sammi girl. I admit it: I'm way too easily entertained. Speaking of entertaining, it's been funny watching Haley stare anxiously at the phone all morning; she looks like she's going to explode if Brooke or Lucas doesn't call her soon. I wonder if now is a good time to tell her that…hmmm, maybe not…I'll let them be clueless for a little while longer.

**

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A/N**: Hmmm, what did Chris do? So that's chapter eleven. Sorry if there wasn't much to it and sorry if it was short. Chapter twelve has more stuff in it and more B/Ju/N/H/Ja/C/S.

Oh, and don't think that everything is magically hunky dory ok. I just wanted to give Brulian and Naley (and you readers) a break from the drama, especially since this is originally a comedy story. Leyton, however, will never leave the drama (obviously).

So, please tell me your thoughts about this chapter. I'm not sure if it was confusing or not for you guys. Or maybe it was dragging on? I'm not sure. Also, it's been a long while since I've even looked at, read, edited, or written for any of my stories, so it would be cool to know how this chapter was to read. It'll help me get back on track in the writing department.

You guys are the best! Happy New Year!


	12. The Morning After Glow

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

By: SamiJane

Disclaimer: See profile

Reminder: Since episodes have picked back up, just remember to disregard anything after episode 610. And I mean _anything and everything_ after 610.

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* * *

A/N: **Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews! You guys are the best! (Shout outs at end)

I was going to add half of this chappie to ch11, but it works better this way. Plus, I wanted to end and start the New Year with Chris Keller scenes. (I heart him too much. lol) Speaking of Chris, I made up a "middle name" for him b/c I needed one. And I use the term "middle name" loosely. I think it's kinda funny, actually.

This is more of a fun chapter since I'm trying to even out the drama and comedy (drama is returning soon), but even though its fun and games, it doesn't mean important stuff isn't included.

So, my dear readers, grab a yummy beverage, maybe some waffles, and read on! On with chapter 12!

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Chapter 12: The Morning After Glow**

_**

* * *

Haley's POV**__; Naley kitchen_

He unplugged the phones. I can't believe Chris unplugged all the damn phones and even stole the cell phone batteries. I can't believe we didn't notice. I can't believe he's still _here_. Doesn't he have musician responsibilities to tend to back in LA? Damn it. I can't believe I sat around like an idiot all morning, waiting for the phone to ring, and…argh. There is no way he is getting away without some sort of punishment. And there is no way Keller can out run me.

_**

* * *

Nathan's POV**__; Naley kitchen_

Well, this is definitely a stray from the norm of our usual mornings. Haley glaring down a nervous Chris Keller from opposite sides of our kitchen table. The last time I saw a scene like this was three years ago, when Haley was trying to get two and a half year old Jamie to take a bath. Both stood at opposite ends of the table, just like Chris and Haley are now, one trying to run away, the other trying to catch them. And just like three years ago, I'm pretty sure Haley will win. Actually, I'm betting that Keller trips on his bare feet.

"Before I catch you and 'accidentally' throw you out the window, explain to me why…well, why you're you," Haley's voice grumbles as the two slowly circle the table. I know it's not right, but I'm finding the whole "unplugging the phones" thing pretty amusing, mainly because what else would you expect if Chris Keller stayed over your house?

The scene in front of me and Sam is pretty amusing as well. Haley's probably pissed that the two of us are just standing here, doing nothing; but, this scene is priceless. And I know Haley's not really going to kill Chris. If Jamie wasn't around, then maybe she'd hurt him; but, our five year old menace is upstairs. No need to worry about injury…for now.

"It's kind of a long –" Chris begins as he attempts to edge his way closer to me and Sam.

"Chris Topher Keller -" Haley interrupts him, in her angry mother tone. And before I know it, Haley and Chris run a couple circles around the table, Haley stops in front of my body, and Chris cowers behind Sam. Too bad the teen is over a foot shorter than him.

Whoa, when did Haley pick up a fork? Chris asks her to lower the silver utensil. But, she merely shakes her head and wields the thing in the air, like a villain from a Hitchcock movie would. I probably should have warned Keller that lack of sleep and loads of stress can make Haley a little cranky…just a little.

I tell my wife to take a breath and relax or else she's going to injure Jamie's new, musical friend. And I also point out that after last night's explanation to Jamie, about Lucas' punching outburst, poking Keller repeatedly with a fork could be deemed as hypocrisy. Haley says she wasn't going to do anything; she only wanted to scare him. She relinquishes the fork onto the counter top.

Chris wisely waits a couple of seconds, to make sure he's safe, before he begins explaining his not so adult actions. After an unnecessarily lengthy explanation of how he got the idea in the first place, something about reality television, Chris finally reveals his motives. He believed Lucas and Peyton had to talk about things amongst themselves first, and come up with answers on their own, before having a chance to talk to us for our opinions on everything. He has a point. "Think about it, Lucas," seems to ring a clear bell.

"Ok, two things," two of Haley's aggravated fingers make a peace sign, "First of all, you have no say over who gets to talk to us. And second of all –"

"Did Brooke call you?" I whisper over to Sam, when I realize she's been texting. I guess Chris obviously didn't think about messing with _her_ phone. Sam shakes her head; I tilt mine in confusion – why wouldn't Brooke call Sam by now? I turn my head when Haley clears her throat. Her face looks as confused as mine since I basically interrupted her lecture; something I know not to do.

I shrug my shoulders, and voice my thoughts over Chris' recent actions. "Sorry, Hales. But I'm kind of glad he unplugged everything. Granted, we still only got, like, two hours of sleep. But, at least it was two hours more than we would've gotten otherwise. And Lucas really needs to figure out some of this stuff on his own." I reiterate what Chris said. Besides, there are bigger things to worry about than Chris' immaturity.

"I agree about Lucas, but that's not the point I'm trying to make right now," she attempts to keep a calm demeanor. So that Haley doesn't think I don't support her, I apologize once more to her and I warn Chris to stop acting stupid and messing with property in our home, or else I will allow Haley to "accidentally" throw him through a _closed_ window.

"Ok, I got it. I'm sorry. No more sabotaging in Casa de Naley," Chris replies in defeat. "But, if I had told you before I did anything, would you have let me? Or, would you have restrained yourself from plugging them back in?" he asks, making another good point. Haley and I give each other raised eyebrows. That's the only answer Chris needs to know that he's semi right – if we had known anything, the phones would have stayed plugged in all night and morning.

Without hesitation, Chris goes on rambling more about how he thought of the idea when Brooke and Julian's names pique mine and Haley's interest. Sam seems to stop her texting at this point as well.

"…The other thing was that I wanted to experiment: if Brooke couldn't talk to you guys, would she call Julian? Cause, you know, she and Julian 'mildly detest' each other, or what not…" Chris pauses for a few seconds, thinking something over, "Oh crap, I forgot she has other friends besides you guys. So, I guess it would have been a bust anyways…"

"Anyways," Chris continues, disregarding his mini revelation, "it turns out those two didn't need my help in the phone department because a few minutes ago, Julian told me that Brooke called him first thing this morning." He sounds almost like Brooke when she talks about local gossip. Scary. "They'll be here in fifteen minutes. I hope they bring donuts," Chris finishes.

"She called him?" Haley asks the question that's on mine and Sam's shocked minds.

"I know, right?" Chris responds as he decides to peruse the pantry once more, looking for donuts I'm guessing. Wasn't he full from the four waffles he had earlier?

"It's spooky," Chris continues, "like we're in an alternate universe, like that zone place."

"Twilight Zone," I state more so than ask.

But either he isn't listening to me, or he…well, isn't listening, because he doesn't acknowledge the correctness of my answer. "I can't remember what it's called…it's on the tip of my tongue," he mumbles as his face goes into serious thinking mode. Haley and I roll our eyes.

"What else did Julian say?" Sam asks.

I, on the other hand, want to know why Brooke wanted to talk to Julian. Up until recently, all Haley and I ever saw was their ability to banter and fight about the most random things. And now, well, it seems like that's changing. I wonder what brought on the change in both of them. I mean, first with Julian during the whole argument thing, helping Brooke out, and then Brooke calling him this morning…

"Uh…Brooke wants you to make sure that Lucas leaves before her and Julian get here," Chris informs us. When did Lucas come into this?

"Huh," Chris thinks aloud and digresses on, "I guess Brooke assumed your inability to answer her phone calls is because Lucas is here crying his heart out…But he's _not_ here, because of my phone sabotaging, so actually…you two don't have to stress out about kicking Lucas out before the Banter Buddies get here. And that means less for you two to worry about today! Chris Keller is awesome."

The three of us stare at Chris with kinked, disbelieving eyebrows, something our faces are used to by now. He thinks he did us a favor? He can't be serious. But his twinkling eyes and mischievous, self appreciating grin say otherwise. "Feel free to thank Chris Keller," he voices.

With a roll of our eyes, Haley and I thank him with a "Thanks, Keller," and take turns mussing up his hair like he's a five year old kid.

"Hey, not the hair," Chris fixes the stray strands as Haley and I exit the kitchen. There's only so much Chris Keller we can take in one morning.

"I got it, it's the 'Twilight Zone'! We're in the 'Twilight Zone,'" I hear Chris shout after us.

Oh god. If the "Banter Buddies" don't get here soon, this is going to be a long ass morning. I don't even want to think about having to talk to Lucas and Peyton later today about Jamie. Haley seems to feel the same way I do; she doesn't even bother to place the battery back in her cell phone. I guess now would be a good time to catch a ten minute nap. Chris better not act stupid and damage anything.

_**

* * *

Brooke's POV**_

I pull up my car to Julian's hotel for the second time in the past eight hours, and I text the guy one simple word: _Here. _ After a couple seconds, I send a second message. _Stop looking in the mirror shackled slave. _

Within moments, my I-phone visually announces that I have a new text message from "Producer boy." Yes, that is what he's listed under in my address book. I still haven't changed it from when I first agreed to work for him a couple months ago.

I grin at his response. _"Stop spying on me dirty babe."_

After a diverting conversation about life soundtracks, wardrobe ideas for when we go to the Academy Awards for _Ravens_, and the best snacks to have when you get the munchies, Julian convinced me that it would be more eco friendly if we use one car to pick up Chris and Sam instead of two. Maybe I shouldn't have scolded him for not recycling his soda can the other day.

I still can't believe that same Julian is the one that gave me the courage to turn around and face the inevitable. God, I need to stop thinking about last night. It's done; it's over. All I'm supposed to worry about now is picking up my kid and going grocery shopping…again. I really have to stop Chris from coming over the house.

I turn on the stereo and randomly pick a track to play. Nada Surf's "Your Legs Grow", melodically resounds from the car's speakers. I turn the volume up, my ears absorb the harmonies and I lean my head back onto the chair's head rest. Talk about a good song to relax to. And talk about a good song in general. The lyrics alone sound simple, but the underlying message is what transforms the song from mediocre to almost great.

Yeah, my preferences sure have evolved since my Billboard Top 40, teenager days. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy bobbing my head to the occasional Beyonce or Britney tune. But, my tastes, like myself, have changed a little bit. I guess life tends to add the rock music to the pop collection you already own.

Nada Surf's melodies relax me so much that when Julian knocks loudly on the passenger side window, I jump out of my seat and hit my head on something hard. _Ow_. I unlock the doors and Julian slides right in, while I massage the tiny bump that is forming on the top of my head. Now we both have injuries.

Damn it, he's laughing at me.

After I give him a couple playful slaps on the forearm, Julian stops laughing, and I decide to talk seriously about the conversation between me, Lucas, and Peyton last night. Penny D and Jack had their first and second serious conversations in this same car yesterday; I might as well make it a tradition. So, getting right to the point, I ask him what he thinks about everything I said to the 'broody blonde' couple. I can tell he's about to joke or say something funny, but my eyes don't relay the same playfulness.

He sighs and carefully chooses his words. "The friendship break threw me for a loop, but if that's what you need…than that's what you need. You did the right thing."

I nod my head. This cannot be the same Julian that landed in Tree Hill ten weeks ago.

Julian glances at me and reverts the question back. What do I think about all of it? I shrug and tell him that I don't regret anything, but guilt has been knocking on the door. He nods in response as well. We talk about guilt and how it's normal and ok; but, it doesn't mean I have to take anything back. That leads to me rambling about feeling weird because I'm literally forcing myself to stop thinking about how Peyton is or what she needs. And after a couple minutes, eventually my rambling ends, with me apologizing to Julian for dragging him into the middle of this mess in the first place.

He grins and scoffs. "You didn't drag me into anything. I wanted to be there. Besides, I was raised in a world of drama; I'm used to the intensity." Did he catch himself? He wanted to be there? Julian wanted to swim in the deep blue sea of drama with me? I hope he has a life preserver.

"Why do you think I was a guitarist in a punk rock band before I became the incredible producer I am today?" he rhetorically finishes.

He _so_ did not realize what he just said.

And_ incredible_ producer? Please. Damn, I was getting used to the other side of Julian, I nearly forgot about his arrogance. If he thinks I'm going to agree with him there, he's got another one coming.

"To get under skirts and satin sheets?" I nonchalantly answer his rhetorical question with a dimpled smirk.

"After all the crap that went on yesterday, you still haven't changed your mind about me," he shakes his head, feigning disappointment. "I guess it's true, one conversation doesn't change anything," he quotes my comment from yesterday's car ride from the airport and gives an overdramatic sigh.

"It was one and a half," I grin and quote _his_ words from last night. "Well, I guess now its two and a half, or three; I'm not sure," I mutter. Man, we're really starting to rack up the convos now, aren't we? And the day is still incredibly young.

"Hmmm…three is a good number; where exactly does that place us on the hatred meter?" his eyes dance at the knowledge that we're no longer at the boiling point, "Just for reference."

"We're a good distance away from the flashing red danger zone sign," I muse honestly. In just two short weeks, we've come a long way…in just twenty four hours, we've come a long ass way. And it all started with a car ride after a wedding. Ha, my car is like our mascot cheering for us on the sidelines.

"Borderline friendship?" he questions what my phrase, 'away from the red danger zone,' means.

I wonder if he knows that, for me, we _are_ in the actual friendship zone. It's sort of hard to dislike or even mildly dislike someone once they've shown their deeper layers, especially if those layers helped support you during an emotional argument. He probably knows, right? Otherwise, why would he be sitting next to me right now? Why would he come up with the idea of a joint car ride in the first place?

Wait a minute…did he want to make sure that I'm ok?

Ok, I need to pause on that mental thought. I should just continue this bantering thing we've got going on.

I sarcastically scoff at his prospect of having a borderline friendship. At this I receive a contrived expression of shock. "Please, you still irritate me," I joke.

"Oh, believe me; I'll never stop in that department," he jests back, wiggling his brows, "That's the awesome-est part of my day."

"Nice to know you'll always be there to annoy me, Jack," I sarcastically acknowledge.

"Forever and ever, Penny D," he grins as he uses more of my words from yesterday. My face expresses annoyance, but annoyance is the farthest thing from what I'm feeling right now.

As we turn onto Naley's street, I think about the little signal we concocted. I'm not sure if the gesture was just a one time thing; we didn't really talk about that part. But, it's not like I need him to constantly protect me. I just want to know if he'll be there to…well, just be there when I ask him to. "So, I've been wondering, does our signal still work even after last night?"

"I expect it to work both ways," he answers as he types yet another text on his Blackberry. I'm guessing Blackberry-aholic isn't going into rehab anytime soon.

And he "expects it to work both ways?" Huh, I never heard that from a guy before. Usually, they act all macho, tough, and independent, like they don't need help from anyone. That's why the clichéd expression, 'Guys never ask for directions,' exists.

"Since when does a guy like you need a protector?" I ask with a doubtful expression. The guy has his verbal wit and a huge, charming ass grin, and Hollywood labels him as a conceited heartbreaker. What is his reasoning for needing a knight…or rather, a woman in shining armor?

"Guys can't be the courageous one _all_ the time; it gets exhausting," Julian claims as I pull onto the driveway. Exhausting? That's his reason? It's not because of something 'deeper.' Or something more obvious – like any relationship, friendship or otherwise, is a 50/50 partnership.

Exhausting…Alright, I wasn't expecting that for an answer. But then again, it _is_ Julian. I need to learn to get used to nothing happening the way I expect it to when I'm around him.

"Exhausting? That sounds like something a lazy bum would say," I retort.

"Hey, if we get exhausted, how would we be able to reciprocate the protection?" Julian defends himself after he slams the car door shut. Huh. I never thought about it that way. He, unfortunately, does have a legitimate point there. And his point indirectly alludes to the fact I was thinking of earlier - that a relationship is 50/50.

"Fine, Mr. Part Time Protector, I retract the 'lazy bum,'" I sigh. He can win this one.

"You can keep the bum. Just replace 'lazy' with 'sexy,'" he smirks when we reach the front door. I roll my eyes for the fourth or fifth time this morning.

"See how I did that? 'Sexy Back?' I took us full circle," Julian points out as he rotates his finger in a circular motion. "I'm good, right?"

I shake my head and attempt to stop the grin forming on my face. But, it's too late. "Just ring the doorbell, Baker."

Julian and I simultaneously furrow our brows when we hear loud, rapid footsteps approaching the doorway, followed by a light crash, and someone muttering "Crap." After a few seconds, Haley opens the door to her humble abode looking frazzled as ever. She is only halfway dressed; half way in the sense that she's wearing jeans with her oversized pajama top.

"Sam! Chris! You're guardians are here," Haley screams behind her. "Thank god," she mutters as she steps aside to let us in. I smile and greet her with a tight hug and an apology for leaving Chris with her. Unfortunately for Haley, any of Jamie's water guns she might have needed are still at my house.

"Looks like you enjoyed a typical morning in the life of Chris Keller," Julian comments when Haley picks up the small picture frame that somehow fell off the wall. I should give her notes on how to Chris Keller proof the house. Although, after whatever happened this morning, I doubt Haley would want Chris to sleep over her house ever again.

"How is he your best friend?" Haley asks Julian when she's satisfied that nothing else in the vicinity needs to be fixed.

"It's a temporary title to make him feel better," Julian shrugs. Temporary title my ass.

"Well, whaddya know? Brooke and Julian," Nathan greets us like we've inconvenienced him by not arriving earlier, like eight hours ago earlier. Unlike Haley, Nathan is dressed for the day. But, the faint evidence of circles under his eyes shows stress and lack of sleep. Or maybe, it's irritation and lack of sleep.

"Hi, Nate," I try to cheer him up with my old cheerleading voice and smile. Damn, what the hell did Chris do to poor Naley this morning? It's not even ten o'clock yet.

Before Nate can even reciprocate a 'Hello,' the four of us hear what sounds like a large pot or bowl crashing onto the kitchen's hardwood floors. We all concurrently wince at the piercing sound. We hear Chris say "Oops. Damn it. Uh oh. Oh crap." Chris also asks Sam to help him out, but Sam replies that she's too young to help him clean up his immature messes. I grin at her remark. That's my Samantha.

Nathan and Haley sigh and have a silent, facial expression debate about who's going to go see what went wrong this time.

"I got it," Julian offers and makes his way to the kitchen. "Keller, what the hell, man!" Julian says a little too loudly. I want to see for myself what happened, but I'm alone with Nathan and Hales. It's sort of a perfect time to talk to them about last night. Haley seems to be reading my mind, because instead of small talk, she gets right to the point.

"Should we ask a clichéd question or do you want to just dive right in?" her eyes implore and comfort at the same time.

"Might as well head straight for the deep end, Hales," I sigh with a meek, pathetic excuse of a smile. I don't know why I even try to smile at something that has no connotation of happiness whatsoever.

Nathan leads the two of us to the living room and I divulge about what had happened once Julian and I arrived at Lucas and Peyton's house. I tell them how I used the situation with Jamie, at first, to show how hurt I was with how the couple had been acting since they got together. I tell the basics of what I revealed– how I've felt about the couple and our relationship over the years. Nathan and Haley heard most of this before, so I don't have to go into detail about it. I talk briefly about Julian's part in all of it. I reiterate how angry I was. And then I spill the dramatic beans to them. I drop the bomb that I'm pulling what Peyton called a 'Rachel Green,' and taking a break from the Leyton friendship.

Julian's, Chris', and Sam's voices trail into the stillness of the room, providing the only proof that I haven't suddenly gone deaf. Nathan is the first to carve into the stunned silence. "A break, huh?"

I nod; my fingers are twisting around themselves, subconsciously prying through the few, thin layers of guilt I have left. "Yeah, I know it sounds really rash and impulsive, but – I need it, you know? And I know Luke is your family, so if you –"

"No, Brooke," Haley shakes her head. "Don't even start with that. There's a reason why we chose you as Jamie's godmother. You are family, too. You always have been. And this thing with Lucas and Peyton…" she pauses and glances at Nathan. His head motions up and down, and they do the spousal telepathic thing again. I'd be lying if I said that my heart wasn't beating fifty miles an hour, waiting for their response in all of this.

"Brooke…Nathan and I, we love you. And, we're going to support you in this. Ok?" Haley reassures me and grabs my hand. I nod and bend my lips into a subtle smile. "Lucas," she continues, "Lucas is…well, sometimes he's an ass. God knows I've known him long enough to know that he can be a selfish idiot. And I wish you weren't going through all of this, but you are. I told you this once, and I'm going to tell you again; we want to be here for you. So, don't even think that, just because it's Lucas and Peyton, don't think that we are not going to be by your side in all of this. Because, we are going to be here," Haley squeezes my hand and gives me a sympathetic smile.

"You bet your ass we are," Nathan grasps my other hand and I pull them both in for a grateful hug. My smile pushes the tears at bay and my arms find it hard to let go of the embrace. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry.

"And I guess, after everything that went on between the three of you, we probably should wait a little bit before talking to Lucas and Peyton about the whole Jamie thing," Nathan adds once we all pull away from each other.

"Yeah," Haley sincerely agrees, "Well, speaking of the little rascal, I should go wake him up." Before she heads upstairs, she squeezes my shoulder and whispers that she'll be right back.

"How is he?" I ask Nathan about our favorite five year old. I hope this thing that happened doesn't affect him negatively for any longer. Hopefully he understood what Julian, Nathan, Haley, and I tried to explain and convey to him last night.

"He seemed better after we all talked to him. Sam even cheered him up before they went to bed. Plus, it's good you're all here right now; he could use a little distraction," Nathan tells me. Even though I hear his words, a portion of my mind is gnawing on the fact that I inadvertently caused Lucas to go off on a tangent and have Jamie be a spectator to the debacle. Maybe if I never abruptly walked away from the argument, Lucas wouldn't have chased after me, and Julian wouldn't have felt obligated to stop him.

"What Jamie saw is not your fault, Brooke," Nathan breaks me out of my run on thoughts, which he also seems to be reading. How do Nathan and Haley do that? It's enough to freak a girl out.

"I wasn't thinking that," I fib, my mannerisms and wavering voice giving me away.

"Yeah, you were," he smirks, "I told you a few months ago; we've been down similar roads. I get it – what's going on in your head when something messed up happens."

I can't help but crack a tiny smile at that truth. He did say that, didn't he?

"It's not your fault, Brooke," Nathan iterates some familiar words and holds out his hand to help me up from my seat. "_None_ of it is," his eyes tell me he's referencing something more than the so called debacle we were just discussing. He's referring to another attack, the one that literally and eternally altered my perception of life. It's not my fault…that seems to be a common message people want to get across to me.

"Julian told me that last night," I keep the topic on the present, rather than focusing on past events. The three of us have already discussed, a number of times, how I feel about the incident. I've been feeling better, not worse. So, there's no need to dive into that chlorine stinging end of the pool again…at least, for now. I'm still struggling to find the last bit of courage I need to accept what happened to me. Acceptance: the last step in any process to get over emotional events, or so my shrink says.

"Well, for a newbie around town, Mr. Big Shot Producer is right," Nathan comments as we walk and take an incredibly circuitous route towards the kitchen. For some reason, the route involves us traveling upstairs. Why is he checking every electronic device in the house?

"And I'm glad Julian was there for you when Haley and I couldn't be."

Talk about irony. Nate scours my thoughts, once again. Because…well…I'm glad too.

_**

* * *

Julian's POV**__; Naley kitchen_

"Hey Juze, dude, check this out," Chris gestures me over to the kitchen table. I'm hesitant at first, considering the fact that no more than ten minutes ago, I verbally berated him to clean up the slops of pancake batter, eggs, and flour carelessly spilled onto the floor. Unfortunately, Mr. Rock Star is not used to the cleaning concept, so I had to intervene and help the guy out.

A huge slew of paper towels, one new trash bag, and two hand rinses later, I return to the kitchen and notice Chris literally constructing a waffle house. Technically, it's a waffle and Lego hybrid of a house with Jamie's action figures sitting comfortably inside. I don't know where Chris found all the toys, but at least they're solid and easy to clean up. I just hope he doesn't try to feed his lopsided construction project to me or Sam. And not just because it's half constructed out of Lego blocks.

"Mini Eggos, I haven't had these in forever. Sienna and I used to consume a whole box of these in one sitting," I reminisce as I take a seat next to Chris. I nudge at his little waffle house because I know it'll tick him off.

"Dude, careful, you're going to make it fall over," he whines.

A few minutes after Chris finishes assembling his mini home, he goes all demolition derby on the house and takes it apart. He now suddenly wants to make a tower of waffles instead. Damn, Haley had a point. How is he my best friend? The thing about best friends, though, is sometimes they can persuade you to think that something as stupid and idiotic as waffle tower building is actually, decently cool. So, since I'm still waiting on Brooke and company to finish talking, I put on my metaphorical construction, hard hat, and help Chris build the Leaning Tower of Eggo. It's like a backwards game of Jenga, only with waffles. Sam is now making fun of us, calling us "immature smelly hobos who need to get a social life."

"We have lives; we just don't feel like living it to the fullest at this hour," Chris defends our sophomoric actions.

"Stop gawking and mocking, Sam; you know you want in on this, too," I taunt and rat her out. Chris and I know that everybody, well most people, secretly want to take any opportunity to act like a kid again. It's the only way to make sure you don't go completely cynical in this crazy and disparaging world. The difference with Chris and I, is that we're not secretive about it. That's why I can be a tad irresponsible. That's also half the reason why Chris is the way he is; the other half is because he's Chris Keller.

Anyways, after last night, who wouldn't want an immature break from reality? I know I could. My face is now showing dark purple evidence of Lucas' fist. And dreams about my past resurfaced last night, after hearing Brooke's heartbreaking words. That labyrinth of a past is something I prefer to never go through again.

"Chris! You opened more boxes of waffles?" Sam and I exchange amused glances when Haley screams at just Chris and not at the two of us. She makes her way down the stairs that lead into the kitchen. She glares at us, with a dressed Jamie in her arms.

"Only the three boxes of mini egos. Why do you have so many, anyway?" Chris answers as we stare at the one foot tall tower, and we didn't even use half of the mini waffles yet. I have no idea what Haley's thinking right now, but I'm betting it's along the same lines as Sam's previous statement. Or it's along the lines of how much food we essentially wasted.

"Cool! I wanna play!" Jamie screams out as he wriggles out of his mother's arms. It takes Haley a few seconds to essentially let go and let Jamie play with us. I guess a good night sleep helped out Jamie a lot. It probably also helps that we're acting exactly his age, and that his godfather isn't around.

"Come on, Little Scott; we're going to need someone to help keep this tower balanced," Chris pulls a chair up for Jamie. The little tyke has to stand on the chair, rather than sit, in order to help with the assembly process.

"I know, we can use syrup as glue," Jamie voices his idea. Sam, Chris, and I look at each other. We're ten to twenty years older than the kid and we didn't even think of that.

"Well, someone's a smarty pants five year old," I tease Jamie, as I push aside the random Lego blocks left over from Chris' first building endeavor.

"Daddy says that Mama's a shorty pants mom," Jamie's toothless grin peeks out.

"Yeah, well, Daddy is an antsy pants dancer," Haley joins in on the waffle fun and pokes fun at Nathan's dancing abilities. I knew little Miss Burn Queen has some immaturity left in her. So, now, how many people does it take to build the Leaning Tower of Eggo? It's up to five, so far.

"Is Aunt Brooke here?" Jamie asks out of the blue. He's currently the only one adding onto the masterpiece, seeing as the rest of us are snacking on the freshly toasted pieces Sam placed in the toaster a while ago.

"Of course she is, buddy; we came together," I reply without thinking. I catch Haley's eye and she kinks her brow. What's she looking at me like that for?

"You guys are together a lot. Are you guys kissing?" Jamie questions matter of factly. _Oh_…that's why. But, how does 'we came together' translate into kissing? Haley, Chris, and Sam stare expectantly at me; their eyes dance and their thumbs twiddle. All three are as eager as Jamie to hear my answer. Why the hell are they staring like devilish foxes? They know the answer; there's nothing going on.

"We're friends, Little J," I answer Jamie truthfully. "Friends who have never kissed," I quickly tack on. I attempt to distract the little fella by asking how Chester is doing.

But, Jamie's mind is still focused on me and Brooke. After quickly revealing that his rabbit is "happy and chubby," he asks me if Brooke and I ever plan on kissing in the near future. Because, according to him, every "adult" he knows were friends first, and then they started kissing. Jamie even counts examples on his hand: his mom and dad, Mouth and Millicent, Skills and Nanny Deb, and of course: Lucas and Peyton.

Do I ever plan on kissing his Aunt Brooke? Well, a certain dream from a week ago seems to spring back in my mind. The dream had been haunting me all week, but I only attributed it to the fact that Brooke and I had been spending more time together than usual. And just when I finally push the 'what if' dream aside, and Brooke and I finally establish some sort of friendship that doesn't rely on witty banters, this question pops up. It pops up like an unexpected, animated bubble from an old school VH1 music video. Thank you so much, Jamie.

Noticing the wrinkle setting into my forehead, Haley saves me. "Hey Julian, can I talk to you real quick?" she motions me towards the other side of the kitchen.

"Watch my waffles, Little J," I give Jamie the two finger-eye pointing gesture from Meet the Parents.

Once I turn away from the scene, my lungs release a huge breath. Damn, that was awkward, at least for me. How the hell am I supposed to answer a question like that? I don't even know the answer. Ok…maybe I do, but that's beside the point.

I start to thank Haley for pulling me out of Jamie's interrogation, but I stop mid sentence. Her eyes and her body language tell me she isn't just trying to save me from a weird situation. She wants to talk.

"How was Brooke last night?" she whispers, crossing her arms. My eyes squint in confusion. Didn't they just talk a few minutes ago?

"Before, during, or after her twenty minute monologue?" I ask.

"Twenty minutes?" Concerned fingers run through her chestnut hair. "Well, afterwards, she wasn't withdrawn or anything like that was she?" she implores and bites her lower lip as she waits for my answer. Today, I've been trying to reign in my impetuous, hasty responses with anything that concerns Brooke. It's mainly because I don't want to say the wrong thing.

"She was pretty silent on the car ride back to the hotel, but I would guess that's expected after screaming for ten minutes straight," I reply, "But you know, she seemed better this morning. We talked about stuff before we came over here."

"Good. Good." The words tumble quietly from her mouth as her eyes stare intently into the hallway. Her hazy, distracted answer makes me wonder if there's more to all of this than I know about. Was there more to Brooke's problems than what she revealed last night, something in addition to her best friends, mother, and whoever Angie is?

Slight trepidation builds up in me; do I really want to delver further into all of this when Brooke hasn't said anything more to me? What if it's something I can't handle? But, I'm concerned; so I ask.

"What's going on, Haley?"

"It's ok; don't worry about it," my question startles her at first, but she shakes it off and recomposes herself within milliseconds. Ok, now how am I supposed to forget about it when her answer is obviously trying to mask something? My mind quickly skims through the moments and words I remember from last night. The most vivid part was how angry Brooke was………maybe she was angry with someone else besides Luke and Peyton.

"Look, um," Haley's attention is focused totally back on me and I'm dragged away from my thoughts and theories. "Thank you for being a friend to Brooke last night. I know it means a lot to her."

"_I can play guard dog on your couch tonight, if you want. Well, not really guard dog…but you know, company or whatever," I said after a quiet drive back to the hotel. The suggestion surprised her; it was probably her last surprised of the night. But, I wasn't going to _not_ say anything. I didn't like the idea of her being alone after such a breakdown. _

_She chuckled at my guard dog phrase and she shook her head, "Maybe some other time. But, I wouldn't mind a hug." My brow quirks up mischievously. "I'm trying to be grateful here, Jack," she insisted with another grin at my facial expression. _

"_Just trying to get another smile back on your face," I replied. I held out one arm and she leaned in as close as she could. It felt awkward since we're used to "busting each other's chops." But, it didn't feel wrong._

"_Thank you, Julian Baker."_

"Sure," I answer Haley's 'thank you,' as I force myself back into reality and out of my memories.

"Why are you at a loss for words all of a sudden?" Haley's grin transforms from gracious to amused and curious. She probably thinks I'm uncomfortable by the whole thing. It's partially true, anyway. I'm really not good at the emotional, 'wear your heart on your sleeve' thing. So I go along with what she thinks, and what's partially true, so that I don't have to explain the memory that temporarily took over me.

"The whole emotional conversation mushiness really isn't my thing," I say with a scrunched nose, while my hands find their way into my pockets. Haley laughs and a voice from behind us startles me.

"Aww you can drop the tough guy act, Julian. We all know you're soft and fuzzy underneath," Nathan taunts and pats me on the back as he and Brooke make their way through the kitchen.

Before I get a chance to retort at the mocking comment, Chris decides to chime in with his two cents, "And cuddly. He likes to cuddle." The girls are all now staring at me with amused, gaped faces. "Hey! You just ate the balcony!" Chris complains when I remove a piece from the now two foot tower. Where the hell did all the waffles come from?

"Nobody calls me cuddly, Keller," I reply with my mouth semi full of cold toasted waffle.

"Like fuzzy is any better."

"Chester is soft, fuzzy, _and_ cuddly!" Jamie exclaims as he takes a break from playing with his Legos.

At that statement, Sam's grin broadens. "Um, Julian, I think Jamie just called you a rabbit," the teenager notes. Her comment is received with hilarity from everyone except me.

"You know, with your musical expertise, you could play the drums for those Energizer people," Brooke pokes my forearm. The Energizer Bunny? She's calling me the replacement for the Energizer Bunny. Peachy.

"You know, if it weren't for my fuzziness, you might not be so chipper right now," I rationalize with an arrogant grin. Her hazels implore into my own deep set of eyes; she knows where I'm going with this. If I hadn't said anything last night, she might still be chained to unreleased tension and emotions. So, like earlier with the 'exhausting protection' argument, Brooke rolls her eyes and concedes.

"You're right; and I'm thankful for your fuzziness," She tilts her head and plasters a new dimpled grin on her face. I've never seen _that_ grin before.

"Jamie, why don't you get a carrot for Julian," she teases me yet again, "and then we will all go out and get some real breakfast instead of this toasted stuff." She examines a waffle and throws it back onto the plate.

"Chocolate chip pancakes? Ooo French toast! Yes, Belgian waffles!" Jamie, Sam, and Chris simultaneously exclaim. All of us give Chris our "What the hell" looks of the day. Didn't he have his fill on that particular breakfast food? There's still a tower that is going to go to waste. Correction…half a tower.

"Here, Big J," Jamie tugs on my pant leg and holds out a carrot. I purse my lips and glare at a laughing Brooke Davis.

"Thanks, Little J. You're too kind," I force my lips to curve upwards as I begrudgingly accept his edible gift. Sam and Brooke hide their laughter behind an empty waffle box when I throw a piece of carrot their way.

"You know I can cook, right?" Haley tells Brooke once everyone calms down.

"You willing to cook for a party of seven, Teacher Mom?" Brooke questions with hands on her hips.

"Eight including Chris' second stomach," Sam interjects.

At Brooke and Sam's comments, Haley tells us 'Oh crap' with her face.

"Alright, knucklehead," Nathan scoops up Jamie over his shoulder and decides what to do, " you heard your aunt. We're going out; you might as well get some real pants on for your real breakfast."

Diner breakfast for seven…or eight; I won't be surprised if it ends up in a food fight, or if we end up taking two and a half hours to eat our food. I feel sorry for the server who has to deal with all of us. I don't think I've ever had so many "real" breakfasts in such a short period of time. Maybe Chris and I don't have to get a life, just some OJ, scrambled eggs, and waffles. And I sound incredibly cheesy right now. I need to borrow some cynicism from "past-Sienna" and "past-Julian."

_**

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Lucas' POV**_

"You should go, Luke," Nathan tells me when he reaches my car, "Brooke's worried and she really doesn't want to be worried right now." I haven't been staring at them for long, maybe thirty seconds or so. But it's long enough for Brooke to get suspicious from the diner window, probably because she knows I'm finding it hard to leave.

I don't answer Nathan, nor do I move. I just continue to watch the glow exude from her face and emanate from her smile. I know I was the weight on her shoulders that prevented her from being this happy. Her dimples deepen as she laughs at something being said; she buries the laugh into Julian's shoulder. Even though I'm watching from several feet away, I can tell that Julian is feigning annoyance at her head touching his shoulder. He playfully nudges her head away and she sticks her tongue out at him. Spikes of jealousy form and pierce the longer I continue to watch the way Brooke and Julian interact.

"It probably doesn't look like it, but a part of her is still hurting," Nathan breaks me out of my trance.

"You know that it kills me that I caused all of this," I respond sincerely, looking him straight in the eye. The guilt will never disappear. Nathan nods at my comment and looks back at the window. Haley's watching us now, concerned.

"Time and effort, Luke," Nathan sighs as he turns back to face me. "A lot of effort," he reinforces his point. I know...god, do I know. Effort I can do; I just have to prove it. Time…well, that's the sucky part.

"Yeah," I mumble. My eyes rest on the glowing family scene again and I can't help but think that Peyton and I may not have a moment like that for a long time.

"We're still family, Luke. You have to remember that," Nathan reassures me that he'll still be around to listen. He always seems to know what to say recently. Nathan, Haley, Jamie, Peyton, and I, we're still family…but not with Brooke, not until she's ready to have us back, full force, in her life again. Jamie…I still haven't talked to him or Nathan and Haley about what happened. Now isn't the time, though. Today isn't the time. I can't find it in my heart to ruin this day for any of them.

"Hey Nate," I call after him before he begins to walk away. He turns back around to face me. I know he can see the guilt, the shame, and the desperation in my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

**

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Really long A/N:** That's chapter 12…and the end of Friday/Saturday in their world…wow, five chapters just to cover two days. Lol. Anyways, the pace will start to pick up. (I'm not going to write what happens to them every single day.)

As you could probably tell, Brooke and Julian are getting closer and feelings more than friendship are starting to appear.

Brooke knows she needs to accept the attack happened to her in order to move on, but she can't find the courage to just accept it happened - she's still angry, but not as angry as she used to be - people are healing her, and letting go of Leyton, temporarily, helps her a lot.

The whole waffle tower deal – that was supposed to be a metaphor about how much Julian's relationships have grown with everyone in Tree Hill. Also, after this chapter, there'll be a bunch more Julian stuff. There was a mini paragraph referencing his past to get the ball rolling.

I also am having fun having Lucas suffer b/c he's ticking me off on the show.

Major Thank You Kudos and Treats to: forever22, JadeStJms, DereksIndigoScrubs, BloomingMissy, PrincessOnyx, gigga, Ashley, sunshine, vanilla902, dibop, Toughluckbaby, gigglingismylife, powerof3halliwells, ParadiseLost23, brulian equals forbidden love, TeamSophia, LeLa London, Trish91, , TaraFish, xcgirl3, ok, Angell4NEPatriots, flipflopgal, p0line, Leona, PeterClaire, GodessSiri, Maiqu, Princesakarlita411, little-things-count, princetongirl, Liora, SV, Vette90, and etfanalltheway.

I appreciate all of your insights, reviews, and opinions so much! You guys rock! When I have time after school, I'm definitely going to respond to each your reviews because if I respond to all of them here, it'll be forever long. Thank you guys again!

And to all you Readers: THANK YOU so much for continuing to support this story, and for all of your patience, since my updates haven't been as often as I'd like them to be. It means so much that so many of you continue to read and enjoy this.

My opinions about 613 b/c I want to voice them somewhere:

As of right now, as I'm writing this note, I just finished watching episode 613 on tivo. .Gee. I'm going to limit my opinions to two or three points because this A/N is getting too long.

I wish Julian had more to say in this ep. I hate what his dad thinks of him. I hate that his dad told all of it to Lucas. I love how Julian came to the house at the end and let Brooke cry on his shoulder, even if it did look like he felt awkward about it.

If Julian has daddy issues (which it looks like is going to happen) I'm going to scream b/c practically everyone on this show has an issue w/ their father. I know reality has broken families, but man, there's a lot of daddy hatred/issues in OTH world. ie: Lucas, Nathan, Dan, Derek, Sam, Rachel(issues more so than hatred), Peyton and her bio daddy (issues), Brooke (issues), and yes, I'll even include Mouth's father (remember season 3 and he told Peyton that his father and grandfather ended on bad terms). At least Nathan and Jamie are awesome together.

Sophia was absolutely brilliant! I loved everything she brought to the table. And I loved that Brooke didn't need Peyton's help to kick ass. Brooke didn't need anyone the way Peyton needed Brooke in episode 415. I'm not a Peyton hater…yes, I actually like her at times…I loved her almost as much as Brooke in S1-3…But, I've always seen Brooke as the stronger girl, and that was confirmed in this episode. Brooke is awesome. Sophia is awesome.

Ok, that's it for my rambling. Thanks again you guys! So…read and review if you enjoyed this chapter and yes, don't worry, updates will come a lot sooner than they did before! And Brulian is coming you guys…just wait a little bit longer.


	13. Tired of the Sunset

**Where Are You Love?**

_Why can't I find you?_

By: SamiJane

Disclaimer: See profile

Reminder: Since it's been 2+ years since my last update, remember to disregard anything that happened after ep. 610.

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**A/N**: Look who's back! First off, thank you wonderful readers for being amazing fans of this story. It means the world that I still receive messages and reviews for this story more than two years after the last update. What brought me back was renewed inspiration at the news of Chris Keller returning for season 9. =) And the news of the impending end of my guilty pleasure show. =(

Since the last update, Brooke and Julian have broken up twice, made up twice, gotten married, and had twin boys (yay!). But this takes place before all of that happened, even way before she made the letterman jacket for him.

Hopefully this lives up to all your expectations for this next chapter in my version of the Brulian (or Brucas? Hahaha) love story! It's been a long while since I've written fiction, so I'm still getting into the groove of things. Enjoy everyone!

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**Chapter 13: Tired of the Sunset**

_Nathan Voice Over__: Sometimes we surprise ourselves. We find ourselves in a new place, in new relationships, or in a new state of mind. We realize we _do_ have courage, determination. We have the strength and the will to go beyond complacency's horizon, beyond the sunset, and into the twilight of the unknown. _

_**JULIAN'S POV; **__Clothes/Bros Store__(several days after the last chapter)_

Spontaneous. Entertaining. Gorgeous. And a bit laughable. Brooke Davis never seems to run out of spunk or energy lately. Her boutique is overrun with early designs for her new line and plethora of various costumes and accessories constructed for the movie, but none of that stops her from closing her eyes and dancing happily, in pure 80s fashion, to the infamous _Breakfast Club _track on a Thursday morning. She resembles a modern day Claire Standish in the middle of a sample sale. No; I take that back. She resembles a hotter, modern day Claire Standish.

With a shake of my head and a soft chuckle, I quietly enter the makeshift costume studio and quickly capture the Brookie Ringwald moment with my phone. Chris and Sam will get a kick out of this. I swiftly pocket my phone away and the music soon gets to me; I can't believe I'm doing this. My arms begin to motion from side to side and my body grooves mockingly to the 80s music. After a couple more seconds, I can't contain my laughter anymore and the slight noise yanks Brooke out of her own little world. She catches sight of my purposely embarrassing dance moves and releases the brightest laugh I've heard since I arrived in Tree Hill.

"The Breakfast Club – you were the priss," I point and tease as Brooke takes a brief second to compose herself and turn down the stereo.

Her devilish, raised brow eyes my unfaltering, mischievous grin, "Let me guess, you were the stoner?" If it isn't for her dimpled smirk, I would think she reverted back to hating me.

But, the past few days is evidence that we won't be pushing rewind anytime soon. A couple lunches here, a breakfast there, a couple more rounds of Rockband w/ Chris, Sam, and the NaJaley crew, we're definitely not going in reverse. Well, unless I do something idiotic; and shockingly, I do _not_ want to do something idiotic.

"Alright, if you say so. They end up together;" I shrug casually to Brooke's 'stoner' comment. Usually Brooke is ready to backlash and instantly fence off my flirtatious comments, but this time I seem to catch her off guard. There's no immediate response, just a lame attempt at a scoff.

The brunette attempts to hide whatever she was thinking and guards herself behind her empty counter, examining a massive binder full of costume designs. "That's one interpretation," she utters, her eyes still glued on penciled sketches.

"Actually," I smile, leaning in towards her, my arms resting on the counter that separates us, "It's the _only_ interpretation, Penny D."

I hope to make her jump a little more, but she's ready this time. Any sign of nerves vanishes and she mimics my elbows-on-the-counter stance, with intense hazel orbs, lips upturned, and her game face back on. Our lips would meet if one of us dares to move a few inches forward. Unfortunately, any courage I may have turns out to be merely bravado and our lips hang in limbo, wondering why they remain alone.

"The happily ever after of Stoner and the Priss may be the only interpretation in a stoner's world," seduction oozes from her raspy voice, "But this ain't a stoner's world…It's _my_ world…Jack-y B." She iterates the girly form of my nickname with amused arrogance and I in turn grimace at the 'Jack/Jack-y B' nickname she dubbed me with.

Any chance of physical contact completely disappears and I kick myself for even thinking for a millisecond that Brooke and I are possible. Yeah, like that would ever happen. We're just friends; that's it. I know that. She knows that. Heck, I was so adamant about that fact when Jamie asked me to define my relationship with his godmother last week. But it doesn't escape me that the possibility still exists, simply based on the fact that we've been going uphill ever since I arrived – from strangers to "business and nothing else" to borderline friendship to full fledged friends (that's what she called us yesterday).

"Hey Jack! I need some arm muscles over here. Don't worry; scrawny will do," Brooke motions me towards a rack of costumes. Scrawny? I'd like to see her eyes pop if she ever sees me shirtless. Damn, now an R rated picture just popped in my head.

"Just friends," I whisper to myself. Ignoring her joke about my muscle definition, I childishly whine and ask her if we can forego the whole 'Jack' nickname thing, since Sam's friend has been hanging around a lot the past couple days. Who the hell names their kid Jack Daniels anyway?

"With Sir Daniels around, the name 'Jack' gets confusing. Plus, it's awkward for the kid when both of us respond to the name at the same time," I reason. Yeah, that's a lie. Truthfully, it's getting on my nerves that I still can't figure out what freakin' hat she pulled the name 'Jack' from. For all I know, it's a reference to some lame ass loser from her third favorite movie.

_- a couple days ago -_

"_What hat did the name 'Norris' get pulled out from again?" Brooke questioned when one of the assistant producers called her boutique phone line, and asked, "Is Julian Norris – I mean, Baker. Is Julian Baker in your studio, Miss Davis?"_

_I hoped I wouldn't have to explain the other-last-name-thing to anybody in Tree Hill. But I was also expecting not to become friends with anyone. I've told the core five one reasoning for my last name change: _"I wanted to make it in this business without being attached to my father, Paul Norris, famous studio executive." _I wanted to prove to Hollywood and to myself that I could make it on my own. That's all these Tree Hill-ers had to know for now, or so I thought. _

_Sienna was shocked, yet understanding, when I decided to legally change my last name. Later on, people were more shocked when they found out my birth name. Hell, sometimes I felt weird saying it, especially since I've been using my mother's maiden name, Baker, as my last name for around five years. But, that's my name, Julian Norris; feel free to wear it out. _

"_Julian Norris." Brooke repeated out loud for the second time that afternoon, after I reminded her of my well known Hollywood father. "Sorry, but that's a kind of weird sounding name," she grinned. I guessed she meant weird in an unexpected way, not strange. _

"_You get used to it after about twenty some odd years," I shrugged, taking another bite of General Tso's chicken. I doubted this was a date, but it was the first time Brooke and I shared a meal alone. The hour started off fine with random small talk and our usual bantering; and now the conversation detoured into personal history territory. _

"_So you wanna tell me the other reason for the name change?" Brooke caught me in my omission. She sensed more tangled history to the names Norris and Baker existed._

"_You really want to know?" I asked rhetorically, but she nodded in response anyway. _

_I nicked the surface with my explanation and revealed to her a piece of my past: It was to honor my mom. And I missed the way my mother used to be. My mother from my childhood seemed to be replaced by a mother who succumbed to the figurative drugs of Hollywood. I was only ten when everything started to change. Most of all, I missed the version of our family that existed before things went…well, Hollywood. Why I remained in that California world – it was because I wanted to change it. And at the same time, it was all I knew._

_I left out the messy, convoluted details of lies, affairs, betrayals, friendship break ups, and two years of locked up emotions. I didn't want to put more of a downer on this "date/non-date" thing. Especially since it had only been a couple days after the whole Leyton debacle. _

_But, Brooke sympathized, "You know, you're not alone in the 'I Have Messed Up Parents' club. This town is full of members. And as a fellow member, I will tell you that ten-year-old Brooke knows how you feel. If you ever want to talk about it, she's here to listen. She's just a tad taller...and a bit hotter, if I do say so myself." _

_I brightened at the sympathy that sparked from her eyes, her empathetic offer, and her attempt to cheer me up with that last line. Damn, McFadden didn't lie. She really did keep being Brooke, even with her own troubles to worry about. _

"_You're really something, Brooke Davis."_

"_You're just figuring that out now?" Despite the egotism of the statement, her tone lacked the same amount of confidence. There's so much about Brooke I'd like to figure out, but I surmised that she would claim that her stories were best left for another time. Probably the same time I decide to talk more about my own past. _

"_Hey Davis," I caught her eye, "If you ever want to talk, ten-year-old Julian is here to listen, too. He's just a couple feet taller." We exchanged kindred, closed lipped grins; she mouthed the word "thanks;" and we embraced the silence that follows any heartfelt exchange. _

_During the minute of silence, no awkward tension engulfed the air. Instead, we've somehow managed to fight over the food. After a couple seconds of chopstick-fencing for the last piece of chicken, Brooke suddenly relinquished her chopsticks and looked at me with playful eyes. Any visuals of insecurity I may have seen a minute ago were gone and replaced with a figurative light bulb shining inside her head. _

"_Is the nickname 'J No' out of the question? Or, even better, 'Ju-No'?" Brooke gleefully teased, even though she already knew the answer. _

_I glared and threw the last piece of chicken at her; at which I received a hand full of rice thrown at my face and ten minutes of 'Ju-No' taunting. _

"If you oppose 'Jack' so much, then, tell me, Producer Boy, what would you rather be called?" Brooke questions from her end of the rack as we both wheel the 'Nathan' slew of costumes across the room.

"'Sexiest Man Alive' would be a start," I kid as I note the number of collections that have accumulated on the 'costume studio' portion of the floor. She sure has been busy the past few weeks; nearly every character of the story had a full, overflowing rack to its name. From items as simple as Peyton's reconstructed band tees to garments as rare as Haley's old poncho – everything is here, ready to be worn and shot on state of the art, high def cameras.

"Please," Brooke scoffs at my 'Sexiest Man' remark, "Guitar talent may earn you points in the sexy factor, but even if you somehow garnered a singing voice, you'd still be unable to light a candle next to the hotness that is Johnny Depp."

I ignore the second half of that statement because my ears attune to something more interesting than Captain Jack Sparrow. "You think I'm sexy because I play the guitar?" I inquire more so than tease, inadvertently stopping her in her tracks. Do the musically inclined pull on Brooke's heart strings? I obviously caught her off guard again and I can't help but grin wider at the fact that I managed to make Brooke Davis become just a tad attracted to me.

I nod my head and pretend to accept the explanations she throws my way. But with every excuse she tries to pitch for her recent comments, the hole she digs herself in deepens, as does my intrigue for her.

"Ok, so maybe I did say what you claim I said. I definitely did not mean it in that way, especially since I've never seen you pluck one string on a _real_ honest to goodness guitar. So get that smug, evil grin off of your face, buster, before I smack it out of you," she warns me as she pokes my chest. "Besides, piano players are ten times more awesome than you guitar heroes. And they don't have egos as big as their best friend's hair."

"Piano? Really?" I ask, scribing a mental note that I should strum up the creative energy to play a tune for Brooke and Sam in the near future.

"Yes, really," she insists. "In fact, my favorite god son is playing the piano at his talent show on Saturday, and I for one think he'll fare way better than you ever did on a stage." Her eye's evasion attempts falter and a slight flush sweeps across her cheeks.

"Well, with the one and only Haley James coaching him, I won't be surprised if Jamie steals the whole talent show this weekend," I focus the conversation on Jamie to ease the slight tension we've gotten ourselves into, "And I intend to start the standing ovation when he does."

"I'm glad you're going. For some reason that kid adores you," she sighs in relief; probably because I removed the sexy card off the topics table.

"Of course he does; I'm Julian Baker. What's not to like?" I smirk.

"Believe me; there's plenty."

Side by side, we survey her newly rearranged boutique and it looks spacious and organized enough to tend to several half naked actors at once. Second mental note: Keep Sam and Chris away from wardrobe fitting, mainly Chris.

"Speaking of adoring kids, Sam is getting a kick out of the whole 'after school producer's assistant' thing. She wants to know if you're coming by Tric today," I attempt my own form of nonchalance this time.

"Only _Sam_ wants to know if I'm stopping by?" Brooke asks with a hint of tease. I don't fall for her tricks and strategically avoid admitting the truth of how much more I've enjoyed her presence lately.

"Well, of course Sam wants to show you all the cool stuff we've got set up. And I know your evil twin, Missy, really wants to meet you, and same goes for those Nathan-cloned basketball extras," I sarcastically entice, hoping it's all enough to convince her to stop by, if even for five minutes.

Even though Brooke doesn't have to be on the set till filming officially starts next week, I think it would be fun for Brooke to share these last few days of pre-production with all of us, even if Lucas and Peyton might be around. And there's the fact that I wouldn't mind spending more of my day with the girl that got me dancing to a song from _The Breakfast Club_.

"Nathan clones, really? Are you luring me with a sizzling batch of toned back muscles and bulging biceps, Mr. Baker?" Brooke asks with Mae West/ Gene Harlow-esque sultriness. Well, when she says it that way, and in that tone, it makes my offer sound dirtier than intended. But I go along; anything to try to get her out and about.

"That and your double's homemade pie," I whisper seductively in her ear and tempt her even more. If there's one thing I've learned after all the past diner meals, I know that Brooke Davis cannot resist pie. She even said herself that it was her choice of breakfast whenever she and Mouth ate at Karen's Café back in high school.

"My portrayer is bringing pie?" she whispers with school girl giddiness. It's hard not to laugh at her excitement for a fruit filled pastry, but I manage to suppress it down to a mere smile.

"Delicious, apple-y goodness, 'I heart Brooke Davis' pie," I place the cherry on the whip cream topped sundae. Apple pie – her favorite.

"Wow, Faux-Brooke almost knows Real-Brooke better than me." She fidgets and her mouth twists into the same form it did a couple months ago when she was deciding on whether or not to accept my job offer as the movie costume designer. She ended up saying yes then; hopefully this time won't be different. Then again, Sam or Haley isn't presently around to reassure the priss that the stoner will be worth her while.

"So, what do you say, Designer Girl? You up for it?"

* * *

_Brooke Voice Over__: But, once in a while we have to turn around and face the truth. Face what's haunting and hurting us. And if we have to, we go back. We go back, before moving forward._

_**Lucas' POV; **__Rivercourt_

Familiar, repetitive thuds and vibrations of a small basketball dribbling on the asphalt shakes me from my morning day dream. Despite the comforting sound, I refuse to move from my current position or open my eyes, the warmth of the asphalt on my back and the sun's beams on my face relax me too much to move.

Whoever is on this court must think I'm one strange guy for resting my body on a basketball court. Or they're wishing they got here earlier, before my long frame occupied a decent portion of the black cement. They can throw the damn ball at me for all I care; my head hurts too much from worrying about Jamie and Brooke all week. I just want to rest in the one place where I can just be, and where the camouflage of basketball nostalgia temporarily blankets my stresses away.

But my face suddenly cools, like how the earth must feel when it's robbed of the sunlight during a lunar eclipse. I carefully wink open one eye and through the initial blur I see a pair of young, familiar blue eyes.

"Are you sleeping?" my nephew asks as soon as he notices my one eye blink open. His stance is slightly bent over with his face a couple feet above mine. Well, that explains why there were no shouts or complaints to get off the pavement. However, it also explains why I didn't receive any form of friendly greeting when I first heard the thumps of a basketball. I miss the days when Jamie used to scream my name and run straight into my arms. God, that was only weeks ago.

"If I was sleeping, I'm not anymore, buddy," I yawn. Satisfied that I am indeed awake, Jamie takes a few steps backwards and continues to watch me.

As ecstatic and genuinely happy I am to see him standing right in front of me, and not retreating away, my body is still hesitant to move. It's unsure of whether or not Jamie wants to hang out. Maybe he's just standing here because he's curious as to why I've been lying down on the Rivercourt since he arrived...with my old auto shop sweatshirt as my pillow and only companion.

Just as I muster the will to get up, the corner of my eye catches Jamie rolling up his own hoodie and mimicking my form. I smirk as he lies down on the court beside me and lightly throws his miniature basketball inches above his chest. Maybe today will be better than the two awkward outings we had this week. I guess, but mostly hope, he's starting to warm up to me. Then again, he may have copied me just because it looked like a nifty thing to do.

"Hey, sport; how did you get here?" I lift my head a few inches to look around the Rivercourt for any signs of Haley or Nathan. From a distance, I see my best friend talking into her cell phone by her SUV. She looks torn about something, like she's weighing out all her options.

"Mama drove. She's talking to Julian on the phone…about something," Jamie answers, "They've been talking for a while."

Julian? Really? What would Haley need to talk to that guy about? Which diner to go to for breakfast tomorrow morning? The image of Brooke laughing into Julian's shoulder still twists a knot in my stomach. I still don't trust the guy; I sure as hell still don't want to see him as the good guy, or even worse…Jamie's new best friend.

"Wait; shouldn't you be in school?" I ask Jamie as we both watch cotton candy clouds move across the sun.

The intelligent kid that he is, he evades my question with his own. "Well…Shouldn't you be filming a movie?"

A white lie nearly escapes, but I catch myself in time and tell Jamie the truth. Well, the vague truth, anyway. I don't' need to confuse or disappoint him anymore than I have already. "I lost the heart to work on it today. I broke a couple of important things that I don't know how to entirely fix."

Jamie contemplates my so called broken conundrum and reminds me about Uncle Skills' plumbing and baby proofing talents. I can't help but release an air of laughter, "Maybe I should give him a call then." I _would_ do that; if it weren't for the fact that Skills bluntly told me he wanted to avoid crash landing into our Bermuda quadrangle of 'Brucpulian' drama. I don't even want to know where he got 'Brucpulian' from.

Jamie and I have made further progress than me and Brooke. I have no idea where to start with Brooke. Well, besides talking to her voicemail. I will admit that it's a tad easier making amends with an open minded five-year-old than with a confused and hurt 23 year old, especially when you're still unsure of why everything went askew in the first place.

"So what's your story, sport? Why are you playing hooky today?" I ask as we both adjust from lying down to upright sitting positions. I intentionally catch Haley's orbs across the court. My eyes wince at the 'Don't mess this up' warning she exudes before resuming her phone conversation. Is she really _still_ talking to Julian?

"Mama's letting both of us have the day off since I had to go to the dentist this morning." Jamie's voice is matter of fact but body and facial language tell a different story. I ask if he was scared or nervous about his appointment today. He silently shakes his head, and considers on whether or not he should reveal his truth. He sighs and his eyes shift towards mine, "I'm nervous about my talent show tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, buddy," I empathize. Although, I'm not going to lie; a part of me is happy he's talking more to me today than the past week. "You want to talk about why you're nervous about performing? Maybe we can figure out a way to banish those nerves aside."

"It's ok. Chris and Julian already talked to me about how they get rid of their nervousness." My previous happiness is shot and my throat forms a lump at the notion that he doesn't think I can help him. I mean, if he did want my help, he would have still asked for my opinion, right? Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

"Oh. That's pretty nice of them." I clear the pride from my throat and temporarily push aside whatever dislike I have for Chris and Julian. "What did they tell you?" I inquire, hoping to show Jamie that just because I don't necessarily like the guys, I am ok with them being in his life…sort of…ok, I'm trying really hard to be fine with it. As simple as the concept is, 'fine' is damn hard to achieve. "Do they have good ways to get rid of their nerves?" I narrow down my original question.

"Julian counts to ten and shakes it out of his body. And Chris imagines the whole audience is wearing chicken costumes," Jamie chuckles, his toothless grin peeking out.

"Chicken costumes. I never heard that one before," I join in the amusement. "I wonder how your dad would look with feathers and a beak." Jamie nods and laughs at the thought. He jokes that his dad with feathers could start a Sesame Street basketball team with Big Bird. But, Jamie would join Oscar's basketball team because he thinks Oscar is funnier than Big Bird. That kid has quite a humorous thought process. It's comforting to see him smile again.

"You know that it's only natural to be nervous right?" I reassure Jamie after our light laughter settles into content silence.

"Yeah, I know," He stares at me for what feels like a few hours, but is only a couple minutes; and then he rolls his basketball towards me.

_- a few days ago -_

_He purposely threw the ball short and I watched it roll haphazardly towards my feet. My eyes focused on the empty rim of the basketball net, but I still sensed Nathan's eyes boring down on me in brotherly concern. Our conversation was probably reaching the hour long mark and I knew Nathan was no where near finished with this "brother to brother" covo. Jamie, Brooke, Julian, Chris, and even Haley were all included on our list of "serious things to talk about." But, the smart guy that Nathan is, he never gave me answers._

"_I just wish I didn't need Jamie's forgiveness in the first place, you know?" I mentioned to my brother as my arm followed through on my free throw. After the ball missed the net and bounced off the backboard and rim, it bounced into Nathan's waiting hands. "Or yours, Haley's and Brooke's for that matter," I tacked on. _

"_I think you left someone out," he pointed out and threw the ball back to me. _

"_I really don't want to like that guy, man," I stared at the ball in my hands and tossed it back to him. After four misses in a row, it was better that I retired from the free throw game sooner rather than later._

"_You don't have to like Julian. But you did clock him in the jaw more than once since he got here," he reminded me. The ball, in pure Nathan fashion, effortlessly glided through the net without touching the rim. "And if you don't make the effort to accept his presence in our lives, that's like saying you don't support any of us. Do you really want to convey that to Jamie?"_

_Talk about simultaneously rendering me speechless and kicking me in the stomach with one statement. Nathan notices my inner aggravation and motions for us to sit. It's one thing when your brother is silent because he's angry with you. It's worse when it's because he's disappointed. _

_Our view of the gray stillness of the Rivercourt resembled a wistful sixty year old picture you stumbled upon in your grandfather's attic. Nathan's forest green Nikes provided the only flash of color during the unusually dreary, North Carolina day. Even the splintered, aged wood of the picnic table we rested on top of reminded me of how shitty I felt. _

_How the hell did I not realize how insensitive I was to Brooke all those years ago? And, was I really that much of a jerk the past few months that it warranted a "break"? "I miss the early days when _you_ were the bad guy everyone liked to blame," I sarcastically sigh._

"_You actually miss being the quiet bookworm in the corner of study hall?" Nathan's raised eyebrows complimented the disbelief of his voice. _

"_Nothing this horrible ever happened until Haley and I hung out with you three musketeers," I shrugged the half joke/half serious statement off my shoulder. In reality, I missed the simplicity of those days._

"_Nothing extraordinary ever happened either," Nathan replied. I took note of his underlying message, the honest to goodness truth that he was forcing me to remember. With every horrible moment, there can be a handful of amazing ones. It just takes…once again…time and effort. _

"Uncle Lucas." I glance at our family's physical proof of extraordinary and notice the concern that swims across his face.

"Yeah, Jamie?" I inquire as I roll his ball back to him. His focus rests on its textured, pumpkin colored skin and I sense our quiet, awkward game of "Roll the Ball" is over.

"Are you and Aunt Peyton still going to my talent show even if Julian is going to be there?" During the brevity of the question, I notice his eyes have the uneasy courage to lock on mine.

He isn't scared of me...anymore. But, he is scared, more so unsure, of what I'll do. That's why any forms of understanding or forgiveness have yet to spill from his mouth. Peyton and I have apologized more than once, but head nods are all that our apologies have received so far. And until today, it took Haley at least fifteen minutes everyday to convince Jamie to hang out with either me or Peyton. His trust still teeters like an unbalanced see saw. That's why right now, I'm proud of the courage and maturity he's exhibiting. Something I failed to do last week.

"Of course, we're going to be there," I scoot closer towards him in reassurance, "Julian and I may not get along, but that's not going to stop any of us from seeing you perform."

Did he forget what we talked about the other day? Even though Peyton and I aren't around, we still care; we'll always love him. But, we _are_ around right now. We will give 110% and be there whenever he needs us. And we know that he needs our support at his talent show.

"I just…I don't want any of you guys to fight. I don't like seeing everyone upset," his response is barely audible, but powerful enough to rip a couple stitches at the seams of my heart, "I want you guys to be friends like before." One more stitch breaks at the plea in his eyes. He already realizes that Brooke, Peyton, and I haven't acted the same around each other.

I heave a deep sigh of hope into the air to catch his plea. But, like my free throws, I know it misses; because everyone being friends means creating a "Julian" piece to fit into our complicated puzzle. "I want all of us to get along, too, Jamie," I manage to croak out. I want us to get along for his sake.

"Then why did you punch Julian and scream at Aunt Brooke?" he presents the question that I managed to avoid till now.

Examining who I was that night hurts, but I owe it to Jamie to figure it all out. I retrieve the emotions I felt in that unbecoming moment and search for the right words that will reveal why I messed up in the first place. Unfortunately, any word combination seems wrong. The truth even rings weak and pathetic. But, words are all I have at the moment.

"I was angry and hurt…and afraid…afraid because I didn't know why what I left behind had changed…everything I believed was true turned out to be the opposite and I didn't understand what was going on anymore. I was afraid to admit that what they were accusing me of was true. And I wish I could take back what I did that night. It was a horrible, unfair, desperate, and selfish thing to do. I regret it because of how much I hurt you and your parents and Aunt Brooke. But I can't take it back. I can only make sure I never do it again."

Somewhere in that poor excuse of an explanation is also a form of apology, an apology for more than just a punch to a face. But I know a simple apology won't be 100% enough.

"So…do you understand things now?" Jamie asks. His voice clings to an ounce of hope that everything is going to be how it used to be; hope that his extended family will go back to how they were before I served a knuckle sandwich.

I want to say "Yeah, buddy; I understand perfectly," but that would be a lie.

* * *

_Julian Voice Over__: If on the way we lose that courage, if we can't find it, then we hope for one person, one person to ignite the spark of truth that we've been searching for._

_**Peyton's POV; **__Red Bedroom Records temporary office somewhere_

I slam my compact mirror shut for possibly the fifth time in the last hour. But my faint reflection in the office window catches my eye and insecure fingers run through my now straight, auburn hair. No matter how many times I stare back, the girl staring back with the same intensity isn't familiar. Don't get me wrong, I love the new hair; but for some reason, it doesn't feel…right.

Maybe it'll take a few more hours to get used to it. Well, at least the henna-based hair color is an all-natural, semi-permanent dye. And I guess I could lay off the flat iron every once I a while and let my curls do their thing. Man, this isn't vanity, is it? Since vanity is a narcissistic arrogance of one's outer beauty, my curiosity about whether my new hair screams "Peyton Scott" can't possibly fall under the vain category.

"Whoa. What the –"Chris and his gaping mouth freeze at my office door and he unintentionally loses his grip on his guitar case. Well, I guess that answers my question. "When did – what – Do you know how long it took me to figure out suitable nicknames for you? And in one little trip to the beauty parlor, you erase both of them?" Chris complains.

"You don't like it?" I frown at his reaction, reopen my compact, and again find a face that is no longer surrounded by golden curls. For a girl who was looking for some sort of change to embrace, I'm doing a lackluster job of embracing it.

"It's great, sassy even," Chris cajoles, "But dub me sentimental; I've been calling you Curly and Goldie since the early days of Tric."

"Well, it's not like I'll be a sassy red head forever. Plus, once the movie wraps, you'll be recording and performing in Tric. That sounds like a sweet exchange to me," I reason and remind him of our newest business venture together. Although, I wish the momentous occasion of finalizing Chris' recording contract wasn't in this sub-par, blah-beige-walled office building.

"Ooh are these the papers that request a dozen of my autographs?" Chris jumps for the record contracts sitting idly by on the corner of my desk. His urgency stuns me, mainly because I thought he'd be mad at me for everything that went down last week. Maybe, just maybe, somebody is on my side in all of this.

"You know, those persnickety head honchos in LA are going to blow a casket when they find out you're technically leaving them for Red Bedroom," I warn Chris and throw a pen his way.

"So why haven't you exploded with pop rock giddiness, yet?" Chris points out as he scribbles names and initials on designated dotted lines. "Your label is going to jump start even further with names like Keller and Catalano associated with it. Hot Myspace girl still works here, right? Otherwise, I might have to stop signing this contract."

"If you're here solely for the possibility of getting laid, I _will_ tear up your aforementioned contract," I scold with a slap on his shoulder.

"Relax, Miss No-Longer-Curly. I'm not doing the work dating thing ever again. Contrary to popular belief, I can learn a lesson every once in a blue moon while." Despite his haughty tone, I believe him. I assume, like the rest of us, he would prefer to avoid the workplace breakup hell Julian, Sienna, Chris, and I found ourselves in not too long ago. And not even a month after my wedding, Lucas and Brooke are in another version of hell in the workplace.

"One final John Hancock and I think we're good to go, Sawyer," Chris states with his mocking business man voice. When Chris mentioned this label transition idea to me before my wedding, I didn't think he was serious. But, now that papers are signed, well I have to ask the real reason for why he's here. It's a fair question; especially since Chris would be taking a definitive pay cut if he signs with a smaller, independent label. Even though he doesn't need a lot to live, it's what he lives for that gets costly. Add the fact that New York City and Los Angeles are two of his lady loves and this situation becomes even more confusing.

"Not that I'm ungrateful, but why _did_ you agree to join Red Bedroom?" I ask with suspicious, crossed arms, "And don't tell me it's because you slept with a couple of the interns and now you don't want to see their faces everyday."

"Because you need my popularity and natural money making ability to kick start this baby studio," Chris boasts. Skepticism flickers across my eyes and a humble smirk slowly replaces Chris' infamous, egotistical facade. "As absurd as it sounds, The Keller wanted to come back to little Tree Hill for more than a two week vacation. But don't tell anyone else I said that; I'm not even supposed to be on vacation."

A matching smile creeps up on my features. I'm happy, but there is no way this is true. Chris loves the open road and the fast paced city life too much for this to be true. But, maybe his little vacation here changed things. Before I can release the girliest of "awws," Chris deeply inhales and nervously brushes his fingers through his hair. He has one more reason.

"And," he turns to me and for what seems like the first time in his life, he contemplates before speaking, "As luck would have it, you, Julian, and a couple other Hill-ers are the closest I have to family right now. Julian's always on location doing movie stuff, so where else am I supposed to go?"

I give my buddy a sympathetic hug. I understand where he's coming from. No matter how far you travel, you always are pulled back to where you belong; to the people you can call home. "So, it's finally happened. Chris Keller grew tired of the bad romance with fame and found a home. How will your devoted LA groupies throw their bras at you now?" I happily tease.

"Probably via webcam, like all the international groupies do," his arrogant smirk returns, but I still can't help hugging his tall, lanky frame. "It's just too bad I have to hang out with my favorite cronies separately," Chris notes with sarcastic solemnity, shooting a dart straight for the bull's-eye of my happy mood. Great, he wants to talk about Brooke…or Julian…or both.

"Speaking of cronies, I hear you and Sienna are on level ground again. You guys having friendly conversations?" I steer away from any potential conversation about my mistakes. Like I haven't had my own inner arguments about what went down.

"I guess; if you can call them conversations. She does most of the talking…non stop talking. She's such a girl sometimes," Chris complains about the one trait of Sienna's that probably hooked him into her world in the first place.

Julian and I never fully understood why those two called it quits. Something about tour schedules, life goals, his "occasional" lack of maturity, and her commitment issues. I wanted to be there for Chris and Sienna, but not too long after their surprising break up, Julian left me alone with a book and an over packed suitcase. After a little over a year, it's nice to hear that Chris and Sienna are on their way back to a friendship. Who knows how long it will take for Brooke and I to get through this…whatever _this_ is. I don't even know what to call it anymore. If she's as broken as she claims, wouldn't it be more beneficial for her to let Lucas and I in, rather than push us further away?

"What's going on in that head of yours, Peyton?" My distracted mind shatters back into reality once Chris utters my first name. Only a handful of times does he ever revert to my birth-given name, and it's usually when he's trying to seriously set me straight. His concerned gaze and cocked eyebrow tie a few more nervous knots in my already crowded stomach.

"It's nothing; don't worry about it," I attempt to figuratively and literally walk away again, but Chris' long legs effortlessly beat me to the doorway. He's not letting me off that easy. I have a feeling he intended today's meeting topics to include more than just record contracts and tour schedules.

"It's kind of hard not to worry about it," Chris voices, "You haven't talked to Brooke since Saturday. What's up with the stalling?" I briefly close my eyes to restrain my composure from going bananas.

Of course he's been talking to Brooke. _Everyone_ and their rabbits have been talking to Brooke, while Lucas settles for voicemail. Me…each of my phone attempts ended up with anger getting the best of me and throwing the phone across the room. I've been through this before with her; I should know how to handle it. But this time, I don't. And that's what angers and confuses me.

"I'm not stalling," I answer, only to receive a doubtful sneer from Chris. "I just… I don't know where to start because I still don't get what the hell happened. And I don't see how this is anything like high school. I was the one who fought for our friendship junior and senior year, not her," I abruptly stop my explanation when I realize how vacuous and sixth grade I sound.

"That's half wrong," Chris not so discreetly mumbles and unintentionally triggers my emotions to haul a 180.

"How would you know? You weren't even there," I snap and defend a little too loudly. He doesn't flinch at my sudden change in tone and it's clear he expected an argument today.

"What happened back then is over," Chris shifts things back to the present, "Stop being all high school with all of this and figure things out already. With all the history you and Brooke have, you can't tell _me_ that you don't know what the hell happened." His tone is stern and steady; I can sense he's forcing himself not to contest the past with me. As nonchalant as the guy is with his own immature craziness, he has an uncanny ability to make you feel shitty when he believes you're doing something stupid.

I swear and kick the ugly, flame-resistant couch that came with the ugly office, attempting to release some ounce of the confusion and stress that has been building since I first saw Jamie on Julian's shoulders during Brooke's birthday party. "I don't know. It's more complicated this time," I grumble and fish for words to explain my lack of actions.

"So un-complicate it," Chris shoots out, like it's the most obvious answer to this roller coaster of a dilemma.

"It's not that simple," I try to argue.

"It's not like you're trying to banish and kill auto-tune," Chris' wit snaps. If this conversation wasn't about me, I would laugh at the retort.

"I don't see you making things all rosy and perfectly happy with Sienna," I shoot back a bigger dart in his direction, purposely striking a nerve. He should have some inkling of how messed up I'm feeling right now; it's never that simple.

"You think I haven't been trying to figure things out with her the past how many months? Just because I act like a jerk or idiot when it comes to Sienna doesn't mean I'm not trying in my own way to get things back on track and get my damn feelings in order." It's his turn to kick the couch and silence seizes the argument for a few seconds.

"I didn't know you still had feelings for her," I whisper my disbelief. All this time I thought their break up was mutual; how the hell did I miss all of this, too?

"Well, I didn't see you as the type to sell out and let everything go to crap," Chris retorts, concern evident in his voice more than ever.

"That is not what I'm doing," I try to reassure him, my voice rising again.

"From here, it looks like you jumped off the Jeff Buckley train a while ago," he doesn't back down.

"Brooke is the one that initiated this stuff in the first place!" I furiously point out.

"She's taking a break; you're not!"

Why the hell is he still arguing with me on all of this? I thought he considered me family. I thought he was on my side. "God, I am so tired of this," I huff, wanting to literally pull my hair out.

"Tired of what?"

"For once, just once, can't one of you be on my side in all of this?" I shout; desperation for an ally chokes up my voice. "Or should I pull a Brooke and take a break from all of you, too?"

Chris sighs and runs aggravated fingers through his hair. "I'm not on any side, Peyton. I'm neutral in all this, just like Nathan and Haley are. We're like freakin' Switzerland. But if you're going to get pissed off at _me_ for being _concerned_, then I'll go and stab a 'Team Brooke' flag on the Swiss Alps."

"Then stab away, dude. Nobody's stopping you. I sure as hell am not," I respond coldly, detachment and anger evident in my crossed arms and stiff stance. I don't want to push Chris away, but I can't help it. It's easier for me to push away the truth than to admit that I'm not doing all I can to fix me and Brooke. It's easier to shut out a good friend than to feel the pricks of frustration in their voice.

Chris' eyes unlock from my swollen ones. A few stomps across my office, a swoop for his guitar, a violent pull at the door, and he's almost out. His head shakes and he slowly turns towards me. There's a sad look in his eyes that I've never scene before.

"I know that ticker of yours is all sorts of wounded right now, but this emo, altered version of you has to go. Because the Peyton I know – the girl Julian used to fight for; the girl Brooke has _always_ been fighting for– that girl is ten times better than the red head standing in front of me."

I remain unmoving, feigning that his phrases don't splint or strike. But once the door slams, I collapse on my couch and my head falls in my hands. His words resound in my mind and they hit a nerve…a memory…one I nearly forgot existed.

_- several years ago –_

"_I've been thinking about Lucas. He's just a guy; he makes mistakes like all the rest of us," Brooke whispered, trying to find redemption in Lucas' impetuous decision to sleep with Nikki. _

"_Maybe. It just feels so much worse when you expected more from somebody, you know?" I responded from my side of the bed. _

"_Yeah; I know," she held back tears, unable to look me in the eye. _

_[Brooke and Peyton; ep 120]_

* * *

_Lucas Voice Over__: We hope for one person to shine a light and prevent our doubt from blocking the possibility of extraordinary._

_**Brooke's POV; **__the park_

In real life, Nathan doesn't look as wild or crazy as his pictures make him out to be; with his lopsided smile, he has that quirky cuteness thing going for him. Plus, it kind of helps that he turned out to be sort of a genius, considering who his father is. It's still pretty unbelievable that he said his first words at 9 months old. "Oh, ok, ow; what - what is he doing?" my upper body jumps at the shock of sudden grabs for second base.

Bevin – who just explained to me that she is the all important Senior Exec Visual Merchandiser for Macys' Southeastern division, rather than the bottom-of-the-rung associate I initially thought she was – laughs at my sudden recoil. "Nathan, boobies are not toys; they are nature's bottles," she scolds, reaching out for her first born, "And we don't play with bottles; do we, baby?"

I'm glad I unexpectedly ran into my old cheer buddy today. What was supposed to be a brisk walk to clear my head about Lucas and Julian, transformed into a long awaited catch up hour with Bevin Mirsky. We shared laughs about the corporate world, she discussed home life with little Nathan, and I told her about taking Sam into my home. My troubles with Lucas and Peyton briefly popped up, but that was quickly pushed aside when she asked me to explain how Julian fit in to this crazy mess I put the lot of us in. I was hesitant to delve into details, but I think she got the gist.

The two of us gossiping by the sandbox reminds me of our middle school park outings with her baby cousin. Man, I still don't know how her aunt was comfortable with two riotous twelve year olds babysitting her kid. And now ditzy "Baby Spice" has her own little one to push on the swings and see-saw with. I watch in awe at this grown up Bevin and her little boy; the past five years have been good to her.

"I'm sorry; he's had a weird obsession with squishy things lately," she apologizes once again, and sits giggling Nathan in her lap.

"It's ok, Bev; he's just his father's son," I laugh at the irony. "And that is why I will keep any future daughters I may have away from you," I coo to the little boy with a tickle on his tummy. His bright laughter caps with a baby snort.

"You know you're already an amazing mother, Brooke," Bevin smiles at me, "I've see you with that new teenager of yours; anyone can see she's happy with you."

"I just want to give Sam a chance to really live, you know?" I say, "It was hell at first, but we're at a great place now." I didn't even realize Bevin knew anything about Sam before today; it's sweet that she's noticed the little things.

"Amazingly, Julian helped a little with the whole Sam thing," I add on; my heart skips a beat at the sudden revelation that never crossed my mind till today. With that little eye-opener, memories flash with different interpretations, and a truth I have been running from catches up to me. Holy hell.

"So after all we talked about, why aren't you running over to Tric right now?" Bevin asks me the one question I hoped wouldn't surface; the one question that forces me to admit more than just feelings of anxiety. "And don't tell me it's because of Lucas," she insists and calls me out, "because that boy is the one that should avoid your bad side; not the other way around."

Bevin's expectant and concerned eyes furrow at my silence and my hand's preoccupation to draw asymmetrical hearts in the sand. "Look sweetie, there's nothing wrong with preferring _not_ to run into the guy that gave you trouble in the first place. Believe me, I know," her empathetic hand briefly rests on my own. "But, if you and Julian already have a secret signal to help you out, what's there to be cautious about?"

Her tone indicates more to the question than what rests on the surface. She's asking more so about letting Julian in rather than how to deal with holding Lucas at a distance. The only response I give her is that her question is a pretty damn good one. The fact that she can interpret the various levels of this situation is new for me; high school Bevin thought I was running for president of the United States back in junior year. That means only one thing then. She knows.

Damn it. I can't delude myself from the truth anymore.

I like Julian "Producer Boy" Baker.

Shit.

"Your signal isn't along the lines of a flare gun, is it?" Bevin interrupts my contemplative silence, "Because I hear those things can be seen miles away, and honey, that is totally the opposite direction of what you're going for."

Oh Bevin.

_**Julian's POV; **__Tric – movie production_

"What's that smell? You're what smells,

You pissed me off today,

Crazy shit you screamed at me,

You're driving me insane, hey!

It's People Always Leave,

Or Curly Always Grieves,

I tried to help her out,

But still she pouts and shouts.

Poor Davis she did hurt

And all then went berserk

Brooke took a break from being buds

…Uhh…

Annnnd she thinks J's a stud! Hey!"

"That's the craziest piece of shit I've heard you sing since you wrote '_Siennageddon_,'" I laugh at Chris' newly penned lyrics. With my feet crossed atop the desk and Chris lying lazily on the couch, we probably look like a pair of work-avoiding bums. Last day, pre-production, lunacy isn't over; but with Lucas playing hooky, for god knows why, I could use a fifteen minute break to rest my creative muscles. I scroll through my music playlist and _The Breakfast Club_ anthem echoes throughout the spacious office. Damn I wish Brooke was here; it would make Chris' singing more bearable.

"It's Peyton's fault," Chris gripes from the velvet couch he's sprawled out on, his guitar lying comfortably on his torso, "Damn ex-blonde got me in a bad tizzy today."

"Please, you get people in a tizzy everyday," Haley suddenly chimes in at the doorway, a small box of her personal knick-knacks in her arms. Talk about taking all day to get here; I called her more than seven hours ago. Damn I need to calm down, it's not Haley's fault that Brooke and Lucas bailed on me today. I reluctantly sit upright to make room on the desk for the items she generously brought over.

"Your changed mind on the job offer wouldn't happen to be in this box, would it?" I joke and sift through the box of items she's allowing us to use for props and scenery additions. I smirk at the funny-faced picture of her and her seven siblings. A US presidents poster, a beat up messenger bag, a few of her favorite novels, most of pre-Nathan Haley is all right here.

"Are you kidding? Why would I ever want to work with Chris again?" Haley rhetorically asks in response to my 'changed mind' question.

"Uh because I'm a musical genius with two teen choice surfboards to prove it," Chris confidently proclaims matter-of-factly. "You want to hear my new song?"

Without giving Haley a chance to protest, Chris immediately dives into the cold waters of the first verse and I can't help but interrupt him. There's no way I'm going to let him put any of us through 8 hellish verses about all the random people who have ticked him off the past week alone; Nathan and I are even on the stupid list because we beat him and Mouth in pool the other day.

"Speaking of geniuses, where's that hyperactive spawn of yours?" I ignore Chris' song belting and look around for the little squirt that has half of Tree Hill wrapped around his witty, five-year-old finger.

"We ran into Sam and Missy outside; they're showing Nathan and Jamie around," Haley explains and silently mouths gratitude to me for halting Chris' not so little ditty.

"Missy's still here? Dude, why didn't you tell me?" Guitar still in hand, Chris leaps off the couch, checks his hair reflection via the sunglasses sitting atop Haley's head and bounds out the door faster than Haley and I could have predicted. Well, that was odd. I thought he was still messed up over Sienna. Or maybe he's trying to find someone to make him forget about everything. I catch Haley's rolling eyes and her mumbled comment about Chris forever being a ladies man. Little does she know…

"Come on, Hales. You can't seriously tell a fellow musician that you're turning down a chance to scribe melodies for a feature film," I revert the subject back to the co-composer position I offered her this afternoon, "It's nearly blasphemous to do so."

Haley laughs at the exaggerated gravitas I put on the situation and shrugs, "Sorry, I'm just not feeling it right now, buddy."

"You wound and shame me, Haley Scott," I shake my head and place my hand on the figurative pain she shot into my chest. I watch as her face contorts and I know I have her doing a double take on her initial decision. That's all I need; for her to reconsider how incredible this could be for her and the movie. Plus, it would be great to have someone else here to help provide a buffered bridge between the awkwardness of Scott and Davis.

"I'll sleep on the idea, but that's it," she points at me, a notch of her motherly sternness accidentally slipping out, "Besides, Chris Keller as a best friend is enough of a shame for you, don't you think?"

I laugh off the semi-insult; she's one to talk. "At least he hasn't done anything recently to warrant a suspension in friendship school."

"Yeah, don't remind me," she mumbles and follows me as I peruse the various story boards and memo boards cluttered throughout the room. She stops a few feet behind me, in front of the vibrant, eye-catching costume and wardrobe boards. "So I'm guessing Brooke decided to stay at her place?"

I can only guess what Haley is interpreting from Brooke's decision not to stop by. But, I refuse to believe that Brooke would rather avoid contact with Lucas and Peyton than spend time with me or Sam. She still has some courage left in her. Sure, it's nearly seven pm, but there's still a half hour till sunset. I pretend to change some notes on a nearby board to avoid Haley's inquisitive stares, but I guess I can't hide that easily. "The day isn't over yet; she could still show up," I shrug with what I'm hoping is optimistic nonchalance, as opposed to optimistic enthusiasm.

"Look at you with your 'I like Brooke' neon sign on your forehead," she playfully pokes at my forearm. She exclaims a truth I have been avoiding and have been hoping was merely an illusion from the Tree Hill goggles I've donned since I arrived in this picturesque, Southern town.

"You sure it's not the faulty lighting playing optical tricks on you?" I plaster on a furtive grin that she obviously isn't buying into.

"If it is, that's too bad; because I'm pretty sure she has a similar sign glowing," Haley taunts.

"Why; what did she tell you?" I ask a little too quickly, succumbing to her teasing. "Not that I care…cause, you know…we're just friends," I attempt to feign indifference. Wait a minute. What is going on? And metaphorical bricks hit me once again today.

Damn.

I like Brooke Davis.

Shit.

My mind reprocesses Haley's earlier Brooke observation and I can't control the tiny spike in my heart rate. Does Brooke feel the same way? Yes? No? Maybe…I fight the urge to ask Haley once more what the hell she was talking about. But within seconds my mind loses and my heart earnestly asks Haley what exactly Brooke told her.

Just as Haley's about to disclose some sort of information, she pauses and smiles, "She didn't have to say anything."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I follow the direction of her line of sight and for the first time since I've been in Tree Hill, I am legitimately frozen and awe struck. She didn't have to say anything at all.

* * *

_Peyton Voice Over__: It's easier to settle for the horizon or even the romantic notion of a sunset. Because ''See ya later's' are inevitable…It's the 'Hello's' that are up to us._

_**Brooke's POV; **__Tric – movie production_

Damn, it's been years since my stomach housed a single butterfly, let alone a whole family. This time I know it's definitely not the leftover Chinese food that's causing my insides to flip flop. Shit, why are my feet strapped to five inch Laboutins right now instead of my favorite Tory Burch flats? If I freakin fall over from a nervous misstep right now, that will certainly be the end of this bravery thing I've got going. My lungs breathe deeply in time with my wrist's opening of the door.

I catch Haley's gaze far off in the office; her comforting smile and wink of support urge me a few steps forward. I'm barely through the door and his eyes focus on me; before I know it, it's as if his dancing orbs pull me across and we meet halfway, in front of the empty bar. My ears barely hear and process Haley's excuse to leave and now we're down to two.

"Hi," I whisper, feeling the butterflies calm to a comfortable setting. Ok, so maybe this isn't as hard as I thought it would be. It's weird that my eyes aren't frantically searching the vicinity for Lucas and Peyton right now. But, I guess that's a good thing.

"I thought the priss stayed in her own world," Julian references our morning conversation with that devilish grin of his. It's even more hypnotizing now more than ever. Shit, I need to keep my cool. Mischievous, cheerleader Brooke in place, the butterflies transform into flirtatious energy.

"Some stoner convinced her to venture out a little bit," I continue the _Breakfast Club_ banter. "Why don't you look too surprised?" I ask, wondering if he's been expecting me to show up the entire day. Either that or the guy has a damn sly poker face.

"I sort of figured you wouldn't be able to stay away from that rebel kid of yours," his honest reply shrugs casually off his shoulders, as if it's the most logical reason in the world. My brow cocks upward at his ability to understand a part of me so quickly – the part most guys, like Owen, can't comprehend at all – the desire to provide love to a child. Damn it, Julian.

An arrogant chuckle precedes Julian's question of why I'm suddenly speechless. I shake my head and insist that the basketball players that walked by behind him distracted the daylights out of me. He turns around, expecting to catch me in a lie. I notice his face drop a little at the sight of his extras indeed hanging out by the craft services table.

After muffling a laugh at his reaction, I apologize for initially declining his invite and not stopping by earlier. He points his rolled up script at me and insists that I shouldn't apologize for anything; what matters is that I'm here now and we both should prep our ears for Missy's flabbergasted reaction at seeing me here. I laugh and ask if that means I can meet the athletic, muscular extras as well.

"I'll do you one better and give you a ticket to the VIP tour," he offers, as we walk by the stage that is now occupied by an array of methodically organized technical and film equipment.

"Complete with a slice of pie?" I ask a little too eagerly. I'm pretty sure my voice did that high school girl thing, but I can't help it; I like pie. Ok, I love it, especially the apple variety.

"Unfortunately, Chris accidentally ate all that." Damn I should have known; Keller is like the Tasmanian Devil when it comes to food. Before I have a chance to announce my disappointment, Julian offers a consolation gift, "But, you can have me as your tour guide." He holds his slightly bent arm out to me with a smug, 'you know you want to' kind of grin.

After weeks of amused banter with the guy, my eyes automatically narrow down at his expression, feigning disinterest. But I catch myself; instead of a sarcastic, annoyed sigh, I smirk fondly and hook my arm tightly into his, "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go, Producer Boy."

_**Lucas' **__POV; Clothes over Bros_

Well, here goes nothing. My jeans take the brunt of anxious sweat off my palms and I slowly pull the glass door open to Brooke's creative haven. To think, a few years ago I shared this safe refuge with Haley and now I feel like an intrusive, unwanted mosquito pestering the new owner. I have no idea what I'm going to say, or what Brooke is going to think about me showing up unannounced. Hell, I don't even know what to expect will go down. But after firmly deciding I need to go one giant step further in this effort thing, this is where my feet carried me.

My nervous fist lightly punches the other palm in a repetitive motion and I scan the store for a familiar face. My heart pounds an ominous, out-of-sync rhythm in my chest and perplexity wrinkles my forehead. Why is it empty in here? Someone has to be working, right?

"Lucas?" a high pitched, confused voice spins my shaky body around. I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed that Brooke isn't the voice's owner. Did she already go home for the evening?

"Hey Millie," I manage to wrangle the embarrassed nerves long enough to greet Brooke's friend, "Is Brooke here?" Her eyes bear down on me, cautious to ask the reason for my presence. Does she know everything that went down?

"No, but she's supposed to stop by to pick up some costumes she needs to work on," she informs me. I nod and tell her I can wait for Brooke to return. I need to see her; it took me nearly a week to accumulate the courage to get this far, I can't leave now. Unsure if it's a good idea, Millie reluctantly lets me stay and resumes inventory work in the backroom.

Like every other person in our technology driven society, my focus shifts to my cell phone while I wait for minutes to lapse. As I listen to messages from directors and managers, I shuffle around the studio, admiring the array of costumes. A tattered photo taped to a collage on the "Brooke" rack catches my eye; it's a photo of the five of us on Nathan and Haley's wedding day.

"Hey Luke; it's Haley," the last message begins. Talk about ironic. I pick up the worn out picture and stare at one particular smiling face while Haley's message reverberates from my phone. "Jamie told me what you told him on the River Court. I know it's been rough, but we're going to get through this. Jamie really needs his uncle back in his life."

"_I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back," Brooke cried. _My mind flashes back to the anguished dispute that became a precursor to mine and Brooke's breakup. Confused as to why my brain reverted to that moment in particular, I shove the painful memory aside and listen to the rest of Haley's message.

"Anyway, Nathan and I had a long talk…and…well, you know, we haven't had a family dinner in a while, so…if things keep progressing positively, maybe we can have one next week? I guess call me back when you get this."

"_Ok, why wouldn't you tell me about the kiss? And why didn't you call me while you were away?" Brooke sobbed, "And why won't you ever just let me all the way in?" It broke me to see that somewhere along the line, I had broken the woman I loved. [3.22]_

I tense up and swallow hard. One hand accidentally drops my cell while the other clenches tighter to a picture that doesn't even belong to me. I hold on tighter because after five damn years, the gears finally click. I never fully comprehended the depth and gravitas of how much I hurt and disappointed Brooke during the last few weeks of our high school relationship. All this time I thought it was about a kiss and lack of communication. Shit, it was so much more than that. And like a haunting version of paralleled deja vu, I've repeated the same mistakes in our friendship. How could I do that to her?

* * *

_Haley's Voice Over__: Sometimes we venture into the extraordinary. We surprise ourselves._

_**Brooke's POV**_

"For when we raid the Naley fridge for dinner tonight," Julian explains when he surprises me with a slice of apple pie he managed to hide from Chris.

My smile widens and my initial evening plans suddenly rearrange themselves, "I was thinking we could raid my fridge tonight; you know…if you want to."

"I'd like that, Penny D." It's his turn to hook his arm into mine, "You do have food this time around, right? Because I don't think one slice of pie is going to cut it."

_Haley's Voice Over__: And sometimes, we don't._

_**Lucas' POV**_

"I heard you saw Brooke's angry side last weekend," I hear Millie attempt small talk; but my eyes remain locked on the photo of the brunette in the red dress, the girl who used to live behind a red door, the girl who deserved so much more from me.

"_Please don't be mad, Brooke," I begged her. I couldn't lose her; not now and not again._

"_I'm not mad, Lucas. I'm not mad." [3.22]_

"No, she wasn't angry," I dolefully correct Millie, and push down the sob that threatens to figuratively choke me, "She was crushed."

* * *

**A/N**: And there you have it. An incredibly long chapter 13; complete with flashbacks, quotes, a Bevin cameo, and a song parody! If you guys haven't read the original song parody – look at my one shot, Jingle Bells Lucas Smells. I hope you guys also liked my tweak to the infamous Priss and Stoner scene.

Some points I wanted to get across:

Lucas finally understands why Brooke is disappointed in them – Since Brooke has always expected so much more from her best friends, she's crushed at the fact that when she needs them most, they never fully understand her and what she needs; something that Brooke is able to do with them.

I believe Chris has deeper levels to him – he's not just a silly, cocky musician. He's a close friend that cares enough to call Peyton out on her crap. Same goes for Bevin; she isn't a dumb blonde. I thought it was important that Brooke and Lucas were the ones to make the first steps and have the courage to go somewhere they weren't expected.

There is definitely more you can interpret from this chapter, but if I point it all out, this A/N would turn into an English class. Lol.

The events of the episode where Brooke confronts her attacker will play a part in my story soon. Since, imo, the writers and Sophia did such a phenomenal job with that episode, I'm not going to rewrite those events. But after I address that issue, everything will be completely AU (author's universe) and not canon with the show. And more of our fave past characters will pop up!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please review so I can know your thoughts about the direction I'm taking this story. I respect your opinions so much and they provide so much motivation. Thanks again so much for being fans of this story!


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